As a longtime golfer, Jeff Foxworthy has learned something
important about the grand auld game: It’s not who has the
highest score, it’s who has the least fun playing it. And
now, in his hilarious primer How to Really Stink at Golf,
Foxworthy shares his invaluable tips for a lifetime of
horrible drives and putts.
• Get into the right frame
of mind to play truly awful golf. Food poisoning or a killer
hangover might be just the ticket to a robust three-digit
score.
• Try to get to the course promptly at tee
time to avoid the hassle of warming up: “You’re only gonna
hit five good shots in the course of the day; why waste even
one on the driving range?”
• The surefire way to
screw up a great drive? As you walk to the tee, keep telling
yourself, “Don’t screw up your drive.” If bad golf’s your
goal, stress is your best friend.
• Avoid fun. “Fun =
relaxed = low scores . . . and that’s something we want to
avoid at all cost. If you have a good hole, shake it
off.”
• Perhaps the most important element: Embrace
the fact that you do stink at golf.
Cheating.
Cursing. Avoiding fairways. Reckless cart driving. How to
Really Stink at Golf covers it all, from selecting the
correct putter to use on a 385-yard drive to prolonging your
stay in the sand trap to picking the perfect foursome for
spectacularly bad golf (“you, your ex-wife, your girlfriend,
your wife”). With Jeff Foxworthy as your guide, even a
scratch golfer can add ten, twenty, maybe thirty strokes to
his or her score–and possibly more if you attempt to play
the back nine, too.
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