Bernie Bridges has it all figured out. April-May June—
the hottest girl in the fourth grade—will ask him to the
annual girl-invite-boy school dance. They'll dance the
night away, and April-May June will totally fall for him.
There's only one problem: Reality. April-
May June doesn't WANT to go with Bernie. She wouldn't go
with Bernie even if he was the last guy on earth.
Then Jennifer Ecch—the Nightmare Girl—swoops in and asks
Bernie to the dance. Yuck! How can he shake the unshakable
Ecch?
Bernie has a plan. He'll convince Jennifer
that he is lower than toe fungus and not worthy enough to
go to the dance with her. But love is blind. Jennifer
loves Bernie—no matter what.
So Bernie has no
choice. The time has come to hold a long-distance snot-
blowing contest right in front of Jennifer. That should be
gross enough to get Jennifer out of his life—shouldn't it?
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