Another tale of good-looking men in gyms, the modern way to
check out a guy before asking him on a date. Steven has
moved back to the town he left fifteen years previously,
when he was a chubby unloved kid, the butt of school
jokes. He tries out the local gym and is astonished to
find his school nemesis behind the desk, who clearly
doesn't recognise him. Since Steven now goes by his middle
name, Lane shows him around as a stranger. After meeting
some friendly locals Steven tells Lane who he is, and Lane
confesses that back then he was gay and trying to hide it,
and jeered at others to take attention from himself.
Steven works for a software firm and has to face the fact
that his transfer to Pennsylvania brings him near to his
parents again. They haven't returned his calls in ten
years. But Steven brings another problem, one that can
stop him having a personal life, and he wishes that he
didn't find the new kinder Lane so attractive.
Modern relationships bring modern dilemmas and in POSITIVE
RESISTANCE we meet interesting people, from gay couples to
a straight couple who enjoy their company, and in various
situations we get to ask ourselves, how would we react?
Steven's father is a preacher who cannot cope with having
raised a boy who was gay. Does the fact that the two
parents cut off their son, mean that his mother doesn't
love him?
We also get an interesting take on modern sports training.
A physical therapist says that coaches work kids for as
much as their bodies can take, and when they crack the
coaches drop them and move on to the next kid, leaving
college-age young people with permanent muscle and joint
injuries already.
Andrew Grey writes kindly of men with image problems or
rejection due to their sexuality or health, and in this
short romantic novel POSITIVE RESISTANCE we come to
understand some of the issues facing the gay community
today. This is a positive read for the wider community,
refusing to excuse or demonise anyone - except those who
harden their hearts.
Blobby Bobby and Lane the Pain. A thousand years ago, Lane
spent his time in high school tormenting Robert Stephen
Phillips to the point of tears. Stephen thought he'd left
all of that behind, including his extra weight and his
horrid nickname, when he came out to his parents. But now
Stephen's been transferred back to his hometown and will
once again have to face his disapproving parents and
childhood nemesis. Imagine Stephen's surprise when Lane
turns out to have changed from school bully to persistent,
attentive suitor. If Lane the Pain can hear Stephen's most
painful of intimate details and still want to pursue a
relationship, is it possible that Stephen can reconnect
with the family that turned on him years ago?
Excerpt
Chapter 1
THE plane landed, taxiing to the terminal as Steven
peered out the window at the concrete, grass, and terminal
buildings that looked so familiar and yet so different.
He'd never thought he'd be returning to the Harrisburg area
to live, not after all these years, but fate must have had
a sense of humor and the old bitch was certainly laughing
now. Pulling up to the gate, the whine of the small plane's
engines seemed to lower and then die away, replaced by the
sound of air rushing through the ventilation systems.
Steven stood up and pulled down his carry–on, waiting
for the doors to open so he could exit. Taking his turn, he
descended the stairs and walked across the tarmac and into
the terminal. At least this was new and different, not like
the old airport where he'd gotten on a plane after he'd
graduated from high school and never looked back. And he'd
been grateful, until now, fifteen years later, that he'd
never been back, either.
Walking through the terminal toward the baggage claim,
Steven stopped in the men's room. Passing by the mirrors at
the sinks, he half expected to see the kid he'd been when
he'd gotten on that first flight to take him away for his
first semester of college, but "Blobby Bobby" was gone,
never to return. He'd even stopped going by his first name
altogether. Years ago, after he lost all that weight, he'd
started using his middle name in an effort to truly change
his life. Washing his hands, he looked at himself in the
mirror again, wondering just why coming back here was so
hard for him. He hadn't seen nor talked to his folks since
he'd left for college. His father, the minister, preferred
it that way, and after all this time, it didn't really
matter. Taking a deep breath, Steven smiled, almost
laughing. He was being completely silly. No one would
recognize him, and he was making a big deal over nothing. A
lot had changed in fifteen years, and it wasn't as though
anyone would remember him.
Finishing in the bathroom, Steven strode out of the
gate area and onto the escalators, riding down to baggage
claim, where he picked up his suitcases. He walked to the
Hertz counter to get the keys to his reserved rental car,
and soon he was outside in the warm spring afternoon.
Loading his bags in the trunk, Steven got in the car and
started driving toward town, arriving at his hotel an hour
later.
Checking in and unpacking didn't take long, and Steven
found himself at loose ends on a Saturday afternoon.
Picking up the phone book, he thumbed through the yellow
pages, looking for a health club nearby. That was a great
way to spend a few hours and maybe work away the blah
feelings he kept having. Seeing that there was one nearby,
Steven opened his suitcases and repacked his carry–on
for the gym before heading out.
Walking through the doors felt comfortable. Even though
he'd never been there before, the place sounded and felt
like a gym, with the clang of weights and the sounds of
music, talking, and the hum of treadmills.
"Can I help you?" the big–eyed blonde girl behind
the desk asked cheerfully, her smile growing as he saw her
look him over. Girls always seemed to, which was fine with
him—not that he was interested, but it was always a
nice compliment.
"I'm moving to the area and wanted to check out the
club," Steven answered, looking around the building. This
had to be one of the newest and cleanest health clubs he'd
seen; everything from the floors to the desk seemed to
shine.
"Let me get you with one of our salesmen. He can give
you a tour and set you up with a guest pass." Picking up
the phone, she made a call, and a large, well–built
man walked to the desk.
"Are you Steven?" The man asked, offering his hand.
Steven knew there was something familiar about him. "I'm
Lane Parkinson. Come on over to the desk, and I can get you
set up."
Steven nearly dropped his bag in surprise, but managed
to hold on to it, smiling since Lane didn't recognize him.
Not that Lane had ever paid much attention to him other
than to pick on him all through high school. If he
remembered correctly, it was Lane who'd originally coined
the nickname "Blobby Bobby," along with a number of others
that Steven didn't want to remember. Still smiling, he
followed Lane to a desk and sat in one of the chairs. "I'm
just interested in trying out the club for now," Steven
explained.
Lane gave him a basic rundown on the prices of
memberships and the specials they were running before
taking him on a tour of the club. "Stop by my desk before
you leave, and I'll set you up with a two–week pass,"
Lane told him before walking out of the locker room and
leaving Steven to change. Checking the lockers, Steven
found an empty one and began to change as people moved
around him.
"Fruitbag," a voice zinged over the wall, and Steven
looked around, wondering where that was coming from. "Are
you and Gene going to dinner, or are you gonna be a prick
all your life?"
Steven relaxed when he realized the comment wasn't
directed at him.
"I'll ask him, but you really know how to issue a sweet
invitation, Lonnie," the man changing next to him answered,
and things got quiet until a naked man walked around the
lockers and up to the man next to him. "I'll be nice to you
and let you suck my love hammer." Steven could barely
believe what he was hearing and jumped when he heard a
smack and saw this Lonnie guy flinch, rubbing his
butt. "Hey, what was that for?"
"You're being an ass," the man next to him said with a
grin. "Besides, you liked it, you pervert," he added with a
smile as the naked guy walked back around the lockers, and
Steven continued to change, wondering what kind of place
this was.
"Don't pay any attention to him," the guy next to him
explained. "He's a complete pig who didn't get the gene
that censors speech. I'm Dan, by the way, and the loudmouth
is Lonnie. He's harmless except for his mouth." Steven
slipped off his shirt before pulling on a T–shirt and
changing into his workout shorts. "Are you new to the
club?" Dan asked as he finished dressing.
"Yeah. I just got into town for a new job and thought
I'd check out the place."
Lonnie poked his head around the corner. "Work out with
us, then," he offered. Steven wasn't too sure about that,
but Dan seemed nice, and Steven agreed before giving it too
much thought. Working out was better with a partner, so he
figured it couldn't hurt.
"If you're sure—" Steven started to say, but
Lonnie interrupted.
"Of course." His head disappeared, and Steven heard
shuffling from behind the wall of lockers. "You ready?"
Lonnie's voice drifted over. Steven tied his shoes and
grabbed his workout gloves before closing his locker,
following Dan out of the locker room.
Lonnie had already scoped out one of the bench presses
and had loaded a single plate on each end of the bar.
Seeing them approach, he held out his hand to Steven. "I'm
Lonnie."
"Steven," he said, shaking the offered hand.
"So, are you a butt pirate like Dan here?" Lonnie asked
with a huge grin that lasted until Dan swatted at
him. "What? I was just asking," Lonnie said with a laugh as
he lay down on the bench before lifting the bar and
pounding out a quick set. Dan looked a little
uncomfortable, and Steven said nothing as Dan did his set.
Then he took his turn, easily doing fifteen reps. "So are
you?"
"What?" Steven retorted, rolling his eyes. "Are you
afraid for your virtue?"
Dan hooted as he added a quarter to each end of the
bar. "Lonnie doesn't have any virtue left to lose," Dan
chided, and then it was his turn to jump back from a
good–natured swipe. Amazingly, Steven felt himself
relaxing. When it was his turn, he pounded out a set of ten
before he and Dan stripped off the
twenty–five–pound weights and added a second
set of plates.
"How are you doing?" Steven saw Lane standing off to
the side. "I see you've met Lonnie and Dan." Steven nodded,
and another man joined them. Steven couldn't help staring a
little. This guy was huge and sexy as hell. When he walked
to Dan, slipping an arm around his waist, Steven felt a
twinge of disappointment.
"Steven, this is my partner, Gene," Dan said,
introducing him before turning to Gene. "This is Steven.
He's trying out the club."
"It's nice to meet you," Gene told him, shaking his
hand.
"So, what do you think of the club?" Lane asked from
behind him.
"It's very nice," Steven answered, watching as Lonnie
did his set and inwardly smiling at Lane as he saw Lane's
eyes dart down his body. When it was his turn, Steven did
his set, pushing out a set of ten, with Gene stepping
behind to give him a spot, helping him slightly on the last
rep as the others talked. Getting up, he saw Lane looking
at him, arms folded across his chest, pushing the muscle
forward, biceps straining his shirt. The man was
handsome—hell, the man was freakin' hot. Normally,
when he was being looked at like that, Steven would have
said something, but he held back, reminding himself who
this guy was, but he still couldn't stop himself from
looking.
Adding more weight to the bar, they took turns once
again. "Stop by my desk when you're done," Lane told him
with a smile just before his turn came, and Steven watched
him walk away.
"It's your turn," Dan told him, and Steven noticed that
Gene had left the group to continue his workout. Performing
his set, Dan spotted him, and after six reps, he clinked
the weight back into the rack. Sitting up, Steven took a
few deep breaths, his chest pulsing with blood from the
exercise.
"It looks like someone is interested in you," Dan told
him, keeping his voice low. "If you're not interested,
that's cool, but I thought I saw you looking at him too."
Steven looked at Dan for a second, trying to size the
guy up. "He's attractive," Steven told him cautiously, "but
I knew him in high school. He obviously doesn't know who I
am."
"Why wouldn't he? You gave him your name when you met
with him. You'd think he'd remember."
Steven shook his head, wondering just how much to tell
Dan, but it really didn't matter. "Steven's my middle name.
As a teenager, I was really overweight, and the kids used
to call me Blobby Bobby. Lane," Steven said as he looked
toward the front desk area, "was the chief instigator."
"Well, it looks to me as though that kid is long gone,"
Dan told him. "None of us is who we were then." Dan looked
to where Lane sat talking on the phone. "But I do know that
Lane has a reputation as a bit of a player. I'm just
saying, not judging," he clarified quickly.
"Lane's a good guy," Lonnie interjected. "For a
fruitbag—no offense," Lonnie added with a grin. "You
two ready to move on, or you gonna stand around exchanging
recipes? You know, if you were real friends, you could jerk
me off." Dan just shook his head at Lonnie as he ducked
when Steven took a swipe at him.
"Now you've got the hang of it. Just don't hit him in
the head. He's got enough brain damage as it is," Dan told
him with a huge grin.
"If you ladies are ready," Lonnie chided, completely
unfazed, before moving to the incline bench. When they
finished their workout, the three of them headed toward the
locker room. Steven couldn't remember the last time he'd
had so much fun during a workout. "You guys saunaing?"
Lonnie asked without stopping for an answer as they all
went to their lockers. Changing into a bathing suit, Steven
made his way to the sauna. As he opened the door, the heat
surrounded him, and Steven took a seat on the bench. Dan
and Lonnie followed right behind, and almost as soon as he
sat down, Lonnie started talking, telling stories about his
ex–wife and God knew what else. "So, Stevie, ya pole
smoker, you gonna join us tomorrow?" Lonnie asked without
stopping to wait for an answer. "We meet at Panera at ten
and then come to the gym."
He had no plans other than spending most of the day
alone. "Sure, I guess."
"Don't be late or I'll bang you in the ass."
Steven turned to Dan. "Is he always like this?"
"God, yes. Lonnie's a complete pig and living proof
that there is such a thing as Jewish pork." Dan bumped his
shoulder against Lonnie's in a familiar, friendly way as
the door opened and Gene walked in wearing a Speedo.
"Nice panties. I've seen larger bathing suits on a
Smurf," Lonnie commented with a smirk.
"Lon, your mother called a few minutes ago, she wants
her ass back," Gene retorted without missing a beat,
settling on the bench next to Dan. Damn, they were a
good–looking couple. Dan was definitely older than
Gene, but Steven could tell they were happy just by the way
they both seemed to brighten when they were together.
Steven looked down at his chest and stomach,
suppressing a pleased smile before shaking his head. "No,
never used the stuff. Have you?" Lonnie didn't answer since
he was already talking to someone else about God knows
what. The sauna door opened, and Steven looked up to see
Lane stride in. The man looked good, strong arms, big
chest, and wide shoulders with an intricate flowing tattoo
covering one of them. Lane sat down next to him, the large
man smiling at him, and Steven could almost feel Lane's
eyes raking over him. He wasn't quite sure how he felt
about the attention. It was nice and all, but Steven had no
intention of getting played, and he really wasn't
interested in an easy, good time. He'd done that plenty
when he was younger, and while fun, it often left him
feeling empty. Some guys loved as much sex as they could
get with as many guys as possible, but that wasn't him, at
least not anymore.
Lonnie kept talking and Steven got up, stepping toward
the door. "There's a whirlpool out by the pool, isn't
there?"
"I'll show you," Lane said, practically jumping off the
bench. Steven looked to Dan and saw him smile as Steven
left the sauna, following Lane out toward the whirlpool.
"Are you done for the day?" Steven asked Lane as he
toed off his shower shoes before stepping into the hot
swirling water.
"Yeah. I finished a little while ago," Lane told him as
he sank into the water, settling a few jets over from
him. "I didn't want to leave until I gave you your pass,"
Lane said, but Steven knew it was more than that. Relaxing
against the side of the whirlpool, he let his head lean
back and his eyes close. After a hard workout, there was
nothing better than relaxing in the whirlpool. "I was
wondering," Lane began, and Steven opened his eyes, looking
at Lane, "would you like to get some dinner or something
some time?"
"Are you asking me out on a date?" Steven asked, and
Lane nodded, suddenly looking rather shy and
vulnerable. "You really don't know who I am, do you?"
"No, should I?" Lane sat up straighter in the water,
staring at him intently. "Where did you go to school?"
"Cumberland Valley," Steven answered before adding, "we
were in the same class."
"No way!" Lane said, grinning. "I'd remember if we
were."
"You might, but I doubt for the reasons you're
thinking. Steven's my middle name. My first name is Robert,
but in high school everyone called me Bobby." Steven
watched Lane's face as he went through everyone he could
think of, and he saw instantly when Lane remembered. The
big guy's eyes widened and his mouth fell open.
"You can't be. You look so different. You're Bobby
Phillips?"
Steven nodded. "Although you never called me by my last
name." Steven stood up in the water, getting ready to
leave, while at the same time giving Lane a good look at
the man he'd become rather than the teenager he once was.
"God, I was such an ass in high school," Lane said
softly. Steven stopped, turning quickly to face his high
school tormenter. "I knew I liked guys, but couldn't face
it, so I made everyone's life pure hell, including my own.
But I think I treated you worse than anyone. Like I said, I
was a complete ass, and all I can say is that I'm sorry."
Lane's face remained serious, and then he smirked this
sideways grin. "Would it make you feel better if I let you
give me a swirly or stuff me in a locker?"
Steven shook his head before breaking into his own
smile. "You're a nut, and I don't think you could fit in a
locker anywhere on the planet." Lane stood up, and Steven
got a good look at his muscled chest, water sliding down
his smooth skin, whirlpool bubbles clinging to his chiseled
stomach.
"So what brings you back to town?"
"Believe it or not, my job transferred me here, of all
places." Steven smiled as best he could. "Who would have
thought that after living in Chicago and San Francisco for
the last ten years that I would be transferred back to the
area where I grew up?"
"Did you request the transfer?" Lane asked, sitting on
the side with his legs dangling in the water.
"Not particularly, no." In truth Steven had absolutely
not requested the transfer at all. He'd been happy in
Chicago, and he liked the bigger city. He would never have
asked to come back to central Pennsylvania, not in a
million years. There was nothing wrong with the area, per
se, it was just that when he'd left, Steven had had no
intention of ever coming back. There were way too many
painful memories here, and they had nothing to do with high
school, although those weren't the most pleasant
either. "It just worked out that way," Steven added with a
shrug before lowering himself back into the water.
"What is it you do?"
"Information technology work. I've spent the last five
years or so managing large–scale software
installations. My company has a huge project they're
undertaking in this area, and they needed me here." Steven
let his gaze wander over Lane's body as Lane leaned back,
stretching a little, and Steven took in the sight of tan
skin and rippling muscles. Sighing softly, he pulled his
eyes away, instead looking across the pool and out of the
windows to the bright spring sunshine that shone on the
flowers outside the window. He didn't do that anymore; he
couldn't. Sighing, he did his best to try to push away the
stab of desire that shot through him. Regardless of their
history, Lane was an attractive man. Steven would have to
be blind not to see it. "I never thought I'd be back here,"
Steven said quietly, "and I certainly never thought I'd be
talking to Lane Parkinson again."
"We're not the same people we were then. Neither of us
is," Lane said. "You're not Blobby Bobby, and I'm certainly
not Lane the Pain, either, or the myriad of things the kids
called me." Steven snapped his head around. He'd forgotten
the names he and his friends had used to describe their
tormenter. "You didn't think I heard it?"
"I'd just forgotten, I guess."
"So," Lane said as he got up, walking toward the
whirlpool steps, "what about that dinner? Are you
interested?" Lane stopped, one leg on a step as he turned
around, deep brown eyes shining with an unspoken invitation.
"Let me think about it, okay? I'm just getting into
town."
"At least it's not a no. I can accept that." Lane
climbed the rest of the way out of the water, his bathing
suit clinging invitingly around his hips and a butt that
could crack walnuts. Powerful leg muscles corded as Lane
lifted himself the rest of the way out of the water. "Stop
by the desk so I can give you the pass." Steven nodded,
swallowing slightly, watching as Lane walked toward the
locker room.
Steven sat in the water for a minute or so before
getting out as well. Walking into the locker room, Steven
heard the showers, and for a second his mind conjured up an
image of what Lane would look like without the bathing
suit. Resisting the urge to see if he could get a peek, he
walked past and into the bathroom area, standing in front
of the sinks. No one else was around, and Steven washed his
hands for something to do before lifting his eyes to look
in the mirror. For a brief second, he could almost see
himself as he'd been all those years ago. Closing his eyes,
Steven took a deep breath. Opening his eyes again, he let
his gaze fall on the man he was today. Tall and strong,
with tan skin, a flat stomach, strong arms, and chest. He
hadn't thought about the person he'd been back then in
years, and he wondered why everything was coming back now.
A swatting slap on his rear end brought him out of his
thoughts. "A bunch of us are going to dinner. We're meeting
at Sapporo East on Carlisle Pike at six thirty. Join us."
Lonnie leaned over the sink and began spreading shaving
cream on his chest.
"Thanks," Steven answered. He figured he could find the
restaurant. "Do you do that often?" Steven asked as Lonnie
began running a razor over his skin.
"About once a week," Lonnie answered, the razor moving
quickly over his skin. "If I don't, I start to look like
yeti."
"More like Jewbacca," Dan chided as he stuck his head
in, "and no, I'm not shaving your back for you." Dan's
attention shifted to him. "Steven, I'd make myself scarce
before he tries to talk you into it."
"I'll see you at dinner," Steven said as he hastily
walked back toward the showers.
"Six thirty, ya fruitcake," Lonnie called, his voice
carrying through the area, and Steven heard a number of
chuckles. Obviously, Lonnie's mannerisms and behavior were
familiar territory for just about everyone at the club.
Finding an empty shower, Steven started the water,
letting it warm before getting in the stall and pulling the
curtain closed. Steven stripped off his suit and hung it
over the bar before reaching around for the soap dispenser.
Soaping himself up, he let his hands roam for a few
minutes. He wasn't about to jerk off here, although he
wanted to—his mind kept conjuring up images of Lane
with his bathing suit plastered to his skin. Steven
finished his shower and turned off the water before opening
the curtain. He reached for his towel and began drying
himself. Hearing another curtain open, he lifted his head
just enough to see Lane standing in the shower across from
him. Damn, he'd always thought his imagination was pretty
good, but it paled in comparison to the real thing. Forcing
himself to keep his mind on his task, Steven wrapped the
towel around his waist and hurried to the locker room,
where he finished drying himself and began getting dressed.
Thankfully, Lane seemed to be in another bay, and Steven
finished getting dressed undisturbed.
Leaving the locker room, he wandered to the front,
where he saw Lane fishing around in a desk. "I have your
pass," Lane said, and he handed it to Steven. "I'll see you
tomorrow."
"Yup. I should be here in the morning."
"Cool. See you then," Lane told him with a wink before
closing the drawer. Steven turned to leave the club,
striding through the doors and out to his rental car. As he
got in, he saw Lane walking across the parking lot.
Steven knew he was probably being ridiculous. Lane had
only asked him to dinner, and he knew dinner wouldn't lead
to anything he didn't want it to. Maybe that was the issue?
He really wanted it to lead to something; he just couldn't
bring himself to let anything like that happen. He
couldn't. He had to face that that part of his life was
over. Closing the car door, he watched Lane get into his
car. Starting the engine, Steven pulled out of his parking
space, driving out of the lot and onto the street going
back to his hotel.
Everything about being back in the town where he'd
grown up seemed to bother him. He hadn't thought about high
school or Blobby Bobby in years, and here he felt like that
fat kid again. He knew there was no reason for it, and he
knew he had to get over it. He wasn't that person anymore,
and it was time to put it out of his mind. He'd already met
new people who seemed like a lot of fun.
Pulling into the hotel, he grabbed his bag out of the
trunk before striding inside and up to his room. Steven
still had a few hours before dinner, and he spent most of
it lying on the bed mindlessly watching television. Turning
it off, he picked up his phone, nearly dialing his parents'
telephone number. The temptation was quite strong, and that
surprised him. He hadn't had any desire to talk to them in
almost ten years. For a while, he'd tried calling during
the holidays, but they never answered and his messages went
unreturned. Eventually, he stopped calling and went on with
his life. This was just a place like any other, and after
all these years, a lot had changed, and it was time for him
to finally move beyond this.
As he set his phone on the nightstand, it began to
ring, and he saw it was one of his friends from Chicago.
Happy for the relief from his maudlin thoughts, Steven
answered the phone, glad to push his ridiculous thoughts
aside. He was an adult and he had his own life. His parents
had thrown him out of their life a long time ago, and there
was no going back. "Marky...," Steven chirped brightly as
he answered the call.
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