'Defeating the culture of bullying and rediscovering the
power of character and empathy.' STICKS AND STONES subtitle
sets
out its aims squarely. Where does bullying begin and end?
The playground may be a beginning point but anyone who has
worked in more than one office or sat on more than one
committee knows that the possibility of bullying continues
into adult life, with more subtlety. The author, who was
bullied herself, concentrates on the school
environment. "The scariest aspect of bullying is the utter
lack of empathy," she says.
Referencing 'Jane Eyre', 'Tom Brown's Schooldays'
and 'Little House', Bazelon demonstrates that bullying is
nothing novel and can hurt, or wreck young lives. Children
were told 'STICKS AND STONES may break my bones but names
will never hurt me' and parents and lawmakers largely
ignored the problem. Until April 1999, when Columbine High
School suffered a tragedy. Now texting and social networks
provide children with a back-channel way of passing snide
remarks and lies about peers; one their parents seldom
understand. This online publication can also reach a far
wider audience than that originally intended. Forty-nine
US states now have laws that clearly address bullying. Boys
bully physically and girls indirectly, but a mixed-sex
environment can trigger jealousies. Five types of bully
include those who suffer abuse themselves and those with
high social functioning.
Monique is targeted by two other girls every day on the
school bus - a difficult environment for the school to
control. The bullies have no respect for authority and
encourage other kids to join the harassment. School
intervention gets Monique called a snitch and then cyber-
bullying begins. Researchers from Stanford to Scandinavia
are quoted and parents are encouraged to be net-aware and
check their young children's mails.
Jacob is bullied about his sexuality. "Labels are for
cans," he retorts, with supportive parents. Aaron, who
taunts Jacob, has himself been taunted for being fat, and
the reciprocated heckling gets both boys into trouble. The
school does nothing constructive.
A Gay-Straight Alliance club in schools tends to create a
healthier environment. But despite a signature of support
from almost every student, teacher and lunch lady, a school
board refused to allow a student to start an official
club. Another gay student, Jamie, took a legal case after
he was severely beaten by a gang, claiming the school
treated him differently than if he had been a girl. The
school lost and settled on damages and medical expenses.
Flannery went to school with Irish girl Pheobe Prince in
Massachusetts. Wanting to fit in at her new school, bright
15-year-old Pheobe stopped trying to work and sat with
popular low achievers. She partied with drink and drugs;
she was already on Prozac with a history of self-harming.
Her mother tried to help but was upset about why her
daughter felt so bad, and they argued. Flannery had been
dating a boy called Austin and suddenly Pheobe was saying
he was her boyfriend. Pheobe became the target of
catcalling and sadly she killed herself. Depression was
the major ignored warning factor in this case. Given that
it was statutory rape, she should not have been sleeping
with older boys, two of whom were charged. Five teens were
also charged with several offences including violation of
civil rights, stalking and assault with a deadly weapon (a
soda can). Bazelon agrees that what the teens did was
wrong, but believes that the adults in the case are evading
a greater responsibility.
Looking at cases such as a black child in Norway, and
interviewing students, parents and educators, Bazelon
concludes that hiring one speaker for one talk solves
nothing. Children develop characters based on the
environment around them, and adults are responsible for
creating and maintaining that environment. A mother
herself, she gives examples of strategies that work - "Most
Middle Lake students (9 out of 10) do NOT exclude someone
to make them feel bad," and concentrating on small acts of
kindness rather than on the negative. Old Mill school
where knives, guns and disrespect were commonplace,
provides an extreme example of turning an environment
around.
I found STICKS AND STONES readable and with a chapter at the
end
about social websites, it is addressing modern issues which
are not going to go away. Often parents don't realise what
is happening in school, and don't understand why a child
has no friends or drops grades. But if a child tells,
their life will be a misery. I would point out that if
students get away with or accept bullying they will see it
as acceptable in adult life. STICKS AND STONES may teach
us all a valuable lesson.
Being a teenager has never been easy, but in recent years,
with the rise of the Internet and social media, it has
become exponentially more challenging. Bullying, once
thought of as the province of queen bees and goons, has
taken on new, complex, and insidious forms, as parents and
educators know all too well.
No writer is
better poised to explore this territory than Emily Bazelon,
who has established herself as a leading voice on the social
and legal aspects of teenage drama. In Sticks and
Stones, she brings readers on a deeply researched,
clear-eyed journey into the ever-shifting landscape of
teenage meanness and its sometimes devastating consequences.
The result is an indispensable book that takes us from
school cafeterias to courtrooms to the offices of Facebook,
the website where so much teenage life, good and bad, now
unfolds.
Along the way, Bazelon defines what
bullying is and, just as important, what it is not.
She explores when intervention is essential and when kids
should be given the freedom to fend for themselves. She also
dispels persistent myths: that girls bully more than boys,
that online and in-person bullying are entirely distinct,
that bullying is a common cause of suicide, and that harsh
criminal penalties are an effective deterrent. Above all,
she believes that to deal with the problem, we must first
understand it.
Blending keen journalistic and
narrative skills, Bazelon explores different facets of
bullying through the stories of three young people who found
themselves caught in the thick of it. Thirteen-year-old
Monique endured months of harassment and exclusion before
her mother finally pulled her out of school. Jacob was
threatened and physically attacked over his sexuality in
eighth grade—and then sued to protect himself and change the
culture of his school. Flannery was one of six teens who
faced criminal charges after a fellow student’s suicide was
blamed on bullying and made international headlines. With
grace and authority, Bazelon chronicles how these kids’
predicaments escalated, to no one’s benefit, into
community-wide wars. Cutting through the noise,
misinformation, and sensationalism, she takes us into
schools that have succeeded in reducing bullying and
examines their successful strategies. The result is a
groundbreaking book that will help parents, educators, and
teens themselves better understand what kids are going
through today and what can be done to help them through it.
© 2003-2024 off-the-edge.net
all rights reserved Privacy Policy