Successful Texas billionaire Logan Barnes inherited the
Barnes Denim Factory from his deceased father. Logan is
completely devoted to his infant son, Daniel, whose mother
died of cancer. Being a preemie, Daniel requires special
care, so Logan has employed Gina Rigoletti of the Baby
Grows practice at the Family Tree Health Center in
Sagebrush. But Gina and Logan have a history, which
complicates matters.
Fourteen years ago, Gina walked out on the Barnes heir for
reasons unknown to Logan. With Gina's PhD and specialty in
pediatric physical therapy, she has moved back to Sagebrush
to open Baby Grows. Treating Daniel becomes difficult with
the secrets between Gina and Logan as she hides the truth
surrounding the events leading up to her fast departure all
those years ago. Nor does Logan know the devastating and
life changing secret of what happened to Gina while at
college in Connecticut that prevented her from returning to
Texas until now. They must learn to juggle Daniel's
treatment while sorting through the guilt of their previous
decisions, as well as their still present attractions, in
determining what their futures hold.
Karen Rose Smith has created a cute and heartfelt
story of two very caring people totally captivated by a
small baby. Their history from the past hinders their
present relationship and leaves them saddled with a vast
amount of soul searching. The characters are warm and
loving albeit torn apart by the circumstances. This is a
story to keep your interest throughout.
Secrets and Forgiveness
Gina Rigoletti and Logan Barnes met on the Barnes estate
when Gina was 18 and Logan 22. Gina's desire to be the
first college graduate in her family (she won a scholarship
to an Eastern college) as well as a threat from Logan's
father persuaded her to walk away from Logan, though she
loved him deeply.
The night Gina left, Logan and his father argued
and Elliot Barnes had a stroke. Afterward Logan decided to
forget Gina and build his dad's empire to make his father
proud of him. Logan took his time falling in love again.
When he did marry, tragedy struck and his wife died to save
their child.
Now a pediatric physical therapist and baby
development expert, Gina returns to Sagebrush. A friend
and fate push her into Logan's life once more as she helps
his son. Little Daniel was a preemie whose development has
been slow. At fourteen months he is not yet walking and
Logan searches for help. As he and Gina reunite, memories
and emotions are intense between them. Logan doesn't know
Gina holds two secrets: the reason she left as well as the
reason she didn't return--a date rape that changed the
course of her life.
Both Logan and Gina have to face their pasts to
find a future together. Can love truly conquer all?
Excerpt
Chapter One
Gina Rigoletti's heart pounded as she followed the
sounds of deep male laughter and happy baby squeals to a
child's playroom in the Barnes mansion. She'd been here
before...years ago. Back then, this room had been a
sitting area attached to Logan Barnes's bedroom. Fate had
brought her here again.
On the threshold of the playroom, she shut down the
memories before they paralyzed her altogether to focus on
Logan Burnes. He was sitting on the floor in front of an
easy chair. With ease, he lifted his fourteen-month-old son
high in the air. Little Daniel giggled and his dad laughed
again.
The love between father and son was palpable as Gina
took a step toward them, swallowing her anxiety. She
called softly, "Logan?"
The tall, muscled, tawny-haired Texan stilled. Then
he got to his feel and slowly turned--his son in his arms—
and faced her.
"I should have called you after your pediatrician set
up this appointment with me for Daniel. But I knew the
conversation would be awkward. And Tessa gave you my name
so if you wanted to cancel—"
"I did my homework on you after Dr. Rossi made the
appointment," he cut in, stopping her.
Where he had been relaxed before she'd entered, now
his shoulders were straight, his stance taut and determined
as he went on, "You're the only expert near Sagebrush with
your credentials—an M.A. in pediatric physical therapy and
a Ph.D. in infant and toddler development. When did you
move back here and open the Baby Grows practice?"
Yes, he had done his homework. She should have
expected that.
She moved into the playroom, settling her bag of
evaluation materials on the round coffee table, then
nervously pushed her tangle of curly black hair behind one
ear. "I returned to Sagebrush about six months ago."
When she'd learned the Family Tree Health Center in
Lubbock—fifteen minutes from Sagebrush—was looking for a
baby development practice, she'd impulsively submitted her
résumé. It was the first impulsive decision she'd made in a
very long time.
In the palpating silence, her heart beat hard and
fast, and words seemed to jam in her throat. She had to
act perfectly normal. She had to act as if years and
distance and memories didn't make any difference.
"I'm living in the Victorian where Tessa used to
live," she added, "sharing it with another doctor from
Family Tree."
Logan's son Daniel was staring at her, just like his
dad. Now the little boy tilted his head, laid on Logan's
shoulder and gave her a smile.
She'd take whatever she could get. "And you must be
Daniel."
The toddler straightened again and babbled a
combination of "Da da" and "Dan Dan" with a few other
syllables thrown in. His hair was sandy brown like his
dad's, his eyes the same color of green. He was adorable
in his cargo pants and red T-shirt, much more casual than
his father who was still wearing a white shirt and dress
slacks.
"Do you do all your clients' evals?" Logan asked,
patting his son's back. "You couldn't have sent someone
else?"
"I do the evaluations. I have therapists who work
with the children, but they follow my plan."
Although Logan had been confident and assured from
the day she'd met him in the estate's barn when she was
eighteen, now he seemed to be debating with himself.
Suddenly Daniel leaned forward as if to take a better
look at her. She raised her hands automatically as she
would with any child and he practically jumped into her
arms.
"Hello, there!" she said with a laugh, comfortably
clasping him securely. After all, she was used to being
around babies.
"You have him?" Logan looked worried, hovering close,
his arms practically around her and his son.
Oh, how she remembered the strength of those arms.
Oh, how she remembered Logan's six-foot-two height, his
protective consideration that had made her feel like a
princess. So near to him again, she could feel his body
heat, could feel her own rise.
It had always been that way between them.
Daniel put his tiny hands on her cheeks, one on each
side of her face and looked into her eyes.
She was fascinated by this little boy who, if his
records were correct, hadn't learned to walk yet at
fourteen months. He'd been a preemie and she didn't know
the whole story behind that.
Logan seemed to decide she was capable enough to hold
Daniel and stepped away. He pointed to the flannel bag on
the coffee table. "A bag of tricks instead of a
briefcase?" he asked.
At one time, Logan's green eyes would have twinkled
and there would have been a smile at the corners of his
mouth. But now he was making conversation, trying to
figure out what was going to come next.
"It's more interesting than a briefcase, don't you
think?"
The blue flannel bag almost looked like something
Santa Claus would carry, only it was the wrong color.
The housekeeper who had introduced herself as Mrs.
Mahoney peeked in the door. In her late forties, she wore
her brown hair in a gamine cut. After a smile at Gina, she
asked Logan, "Is there anything you need?"
"No, Hannah." He glanced at Gina. "You two have
met?"
"We introduced ourselves when I came in, " Gina
assured him.
Mrs. Mahoney made her way into the room and ruffled
Daniel's hair. "I forgot to tell you Daniel had his supper
early so he should be in a good mood until he starts
getting sleepy. Logan, you have leftovers in the oven.
I'll be watching TV if you need me."
Mrs. Mahoney bent and gave Daniel a kiss on the
forehead. "I'll see you at bedtime, big boy." Then with a
wave to them all, she headed out the door toward her
quarters.
The silence of the big house surrounded the three of
them.
The three of them.
Gina tightened her hold around the warm cuddly weight
in her arms. This toddler could have been her life. This
child could have been hers. If only she'd turned around
and come home. If only she hadn't gone to that frat party
and had her life changed forever.
Too late. Too late. Too late.
The window of opportunity with Logan had passed.
Even if it hadn't, she wasn't the same woman now she'd been
then. Nothing had ever been the same after her freshman
year at college. She'd had to rebuild her world...alone.
Gina shifted Daniel to get a better idea of his
weight and balance. When she tickled his tummy, he giggled.
"Maybe we'd better get started." Logan's voice was
low and husky.
Her gaze met his and what she saw there shocked her
as much as what she didn't see. His eyes used to be
expressive—caring, amused, warm, simmering to share what
had begun with one chaste kiss. Now they were turbulent,
and she couldn't hold eye contact. That one look had made
her feel such guilt. How could he do that without saying a
word?
Fortunately Daniel was getting restless, rocking back
and forth in her arms, and she could focus on him. "Where
does Daniel spend most of his playtime?"
"Here."
"Good. I want to evaluate him with his own things
around him."
Daniel wriggled more vigorously and Logan reached for
him. "Do you want me to take him?"
Her pulse sped up with Logan so close. She noticed
the way his cheeks had gotten leaner over the years, though
his shoulders had grown more muscled. His waist was still
tapered, and she recalled exactly how taut those stomach
muscles had been.
Apparently Daniel thought his dad was going to pull
him away from her. The baby slid his fingers into her
curls and held on tight.
For years Gina had straightened her curls into more
manageable waves. But over the past few months, she'd
decided to let it curl naturally again. Now her concern
was more for Daniel and his desire to hold onto her than
her hair. "It's okay, little one. I'm not going
anywhere. We're going to play for a bit."
Instead of scolding his son, Logan settled his hands
over Daniel's and loosened the boy's fingers. When his
tall hard body leaned into her, Gina was overwhelmed with
emotion—and memories. Logan's fingers in her hair reminded
her of the time he'd stroked her curls as they lay on the
sofa in the poolhouse.
"God gave you too many curls to count so they'd drive
me crazy."
"Crazy?"
"Silky and soft and I want to touch every one of
them."
Now, however, Logan just tickled his son, letting his
laughter spill around them. Then he lifted Daniel from
Gina, high into the air, causing the little boy to give a
cry of joy.
Watching them together, Gina's heart hurt and her
arms felt so empty. She wrapped them around herself,
knowing her evaluation had to be objective.
She could do this...she really could.
#
Logan sat straight on the cranberry leather sofa
watching his son. Daniel crawled to Gina gleefully as if
he'd been doing it since he'd been born.
Maybe he just wanted to reach those bright colored
pegs on the board she held on her lap.
Unclenching his fist, Logan attempted to relax his
posture so he didn't look like a man on guard. Why should
he be on guard? Gina was just evaluating his son.
His son. His and Amy's son...the son his wife had
died to save.
He might as well admit it. He was angry Gina was in
his house, reminding him of a time he'd shoved behind him,
reminding him of her desertion, reminding him of his
father's stroke and the fact she'd left and hadn't looked
back.
As Daniel plopped beside her on the floor stretching
his hand toward the pegs on her board, Logan had to
ask, "Why did you come back to Sagebrush?"
She didn't answer right away, rather set the board
aside, picked up the remote-controlled car she'd removed
from her bag and set it on the floor in front of her.
"My mom heard about the opening at the Family Tree
Health Center and called to tell me about it. She and my
dad have always wanted me to move back here, or at least
closer than New England."
She pressed the button on the remote and the car
skittered across a patch of hardwood floor. Daniel crawled
after it as fast as his little legs would go.
"You know he can crawl," Logan grumbled. "Why keep
encouraging him to do it?"
"I'm not encouraging him to crawl," she answered
quietly. "I'm watching how he problem-solves, what he
reaches for first, what muscles he uses when he does. He's
not even thinking about using the coffee table to stand up
or any other piece of furniture and I'm wondering why."
Logan wondered the same thing.
Tessa had given Logan exercises to do with Daniel
since he was a few months old. But recently, with his son
still not walking, Logan had worried. Was Daniel simply a
premature baby, slow in development? Or was there another
problem, perhaps more serious? Gina was here to assess
that possibility.
She directed the car back to where she sat and Daniel
followed it. Levering herself to her knees, she clasped
the little boy at the waist and encouraged him to stand.
He did...while she supported him. Slowly she let her arms
take less and less of his weight until he was standing on
his own.
"You're such a big boy! Can you take my hands and
come over to me?" She offered them to him but he ignored
her and plopped back down onto the floor as if that's where
he was safe.
Suddenly she asked Logan, "Do you and Mrs. Mahoney
carry him wherever he wants to go?"
Logan tried to restrain his impatience. "The house
is huge. Usually I just scoop him up and bring him along.
I guess Hannah might do the same."
If Gina noticed his impatience, she didn't respond to
it. Instead she asked, "What about when you're relaxing in
here, watching cartoons, something like that? Do you go to
Daniel if you want him? Or do you encourage him to come to
you?"
Logan thought about it. "Now that you mention it, I
probably go to him and take him what he needs."
"Like a puzzle, or crayons, or blocks." She saw all
those on the colorful shelves to the side of the room.
"Are you saying this is my fault?" He knew he
sounded defensive and dammit, he was. After all he'd been
through with Amy, as well as Daniel, he'd done the best he
could.
Gina handed Daniel a plastic bowling pin and watched
him turn it upside down. "I think you can call Mrs.
Mahoney now. I'd like to talk to you about Daniel and I
think it would be better if he's not in the room."
"He's not going to understand—"
Gina's concerned brown eyes locked to his and her
voice held conviction. "Daniel will understand our tone of
voice. He'll understand our expressions. He'll understand
if we're happy, sad, angry or frustrated."
Gina Rigoletti was the baby expert and with
reluctance Logan recognized that fact. He pressed a button
on the console where the cordless phone sat on the end
table.
Long minutes later, Hannah entered the room. "Is
Daniel ready for bed?"
"If you could get him ready, that would be great,"
Logan said. "I'll be in as soon as Dr. Rigoletti leaves."
As soon as Hannah left with Daniel, Gina began
gathering assessment sheets and toys she'd stacked on the
coffee table and the floor around her. She slipped the
papers onto her clipboard. The rest went back into that
flannel bag.
She stood, seemed to debate with herself, and then
joined Logan on the sofa. "I'll e-mail you a copy of my
formal evaluation. For now, I'll give you the
highlights." She looked down at the notes she'd
taken. "First of all, Daniel was a preemie. He's within
the normal range of walking which is fifteen months. I
think with encouragement—the right kind of encouragement—
that can happen."
"What do you mean the right kind of encouragement?
I'm always asking him to come to me."
"We'll get into that." She checked her notes again.
Because she didn't want to look at him?
"I know you're doing exercises with Daniel now.
We're going to expand those a little if you decide to put
him under my care. I'd like you to do them with him daily
in between sessions. In addition, you have to stop
carrying him when he can get somewhere on his own. You
need to be patient enough to wait for him, encourage him to
stand and walk with you. I think he'll do it if you simply
let him lag behind. He won't like that. He needs
motivation to get up and walk. You have to help him
develop that."
Logan let out a sigh and ran a hand through his
hair. "I thought kids learned to roll over, sit up, crawl
and walk instinctively. I never expected Daniel to have
problems with those things."
"He might be slower talking, too—sometimes preemies
are. But you can encourage him in that area, also. The
more verbal he becomes, the sooner he'll talk. He already
understand more than you think he does. If you bring him
what he wants or needs without him asking, there won't be
any reason for him to ask."
"So his not walking yet isn't a permanent problem?"
"In my opinion, I don't think it is. In a few weeks,
we'll know better."
"In a few weeks, he'll be walking?"
"I didn't say that. Children have their own time
table. But I'll set up a program where we'll strengthen
his muscles, encourage him and motivate him."
Logan made a sudden decision before he thought better
of it. "You'll be able to come here to do it?"
Her eyes widened in surprise. "I thought just the
evaluation would be here."
"I'll pay double. It will save me time running back
and forth to your practice in Lubbock."
She thought about it. "I suppose one of my
therapists—"
He cut in, "Aren't you the most qualified?"
"Yes, but..."
"Then I want you to handle his care." Logan couldn't
believe he was inviting Gina back into his home. Judging
by her silence, she was just as surprised. But he had to
do what was best for Daniel. On the other hand, if he was
honest with himself, he also had to admit he wanted to see
the woman she'd become...if she felt regrets for leaving
the way she had and turning her back on him.
Why did he even care?
He cared because when he looked at her...his body
responded as it had when he was in his twenties. He
resented that fact. He'd been happily married. He still
missed the woman who had given her life for their son. Any
reaction to Gina came from the past and he had to douse
it. Daniel was his only focus now.
When Gina's gaze met his, he saw emotion flicker
there. He thought he saw the corner of her lip quiver.
That used to happen when she was upset or nervous. He was
sure she was going to refuse his offer.
Instead, she straightened her back and didn't look
away. "I can handle some of Daniel's treatment here, but
I'll need him at Baby Grows for sessions, too. I can't
start a program without you agreeing to that."
There was a bit of steel in her tone and an
assertiveness she'd lacked as a teenager. She'd obviously
grown into a strong woman.
Just as Amy had been strong, an inner voice reminded
him. Just as Amy had been unbending in her determination to
keep Daniel safe.
"How often?"
"That depends on my schedule. I can commit to one
evening a week."
"That's fine." He thought about his busy May
schedule...watching Gina with Daniel even on a limited
basis...and added, "When I can't be here, Hannah will be."
"Logan, you need to participate in the program I set
up. That's important to Daniel."
Something about his name on her lips shook him a
little. It cracked the vault of memories he'd carefully
sealed and buried. "All right, I'll make sure I'm
available. Is there anything else you need from me right
now?"
She looked as if she was debating with herself but
finally answered, "No."
"Daniel and I have a routine at bedtime. I don't
want to disrupt that. Hannah will see you out."
The room had become stifling with them both in it.
Memories seemed to dance between them, muddling the past
with the present. He needed to hold his son and forget
about what had happened so long ago.
He headed for the doorway.
"Logan?"
When he turned to face Gina again, she looked
vulnerable. He almost crossed the room, almost gave in to
the instinct to reassure her that everything would be all
right, as he might have once done.
Now he kept silent.
Appearing flustered for a moment, she finally
said, "Call me tomorrow to set up an appointment." She
took a card from her pocket, covered the distance between
them, and handed it to him. "All my numbers are on there.
If you can't reach me at Baby Grows, you can reach me on my
cell phone or at home."
His fingers grazed hers as he took the card and
willed his body not to record the brief contact. His voice
became rough as he responded, "Thanks."
Then he left Gina in Daniel's playroom and breathed a
deep sigh of relief.
#
On Saturday morning, Gina sat in the small parlor off
the living room in the old Victorian house in Sagebrush,
tapping her foot, too edgy to admire the chintz material on
the love seat, the dragonfly Tiffany lamp sitting on the
corner of the library table she and her housemate Raina
used as a desk. Her heart practically tripped over itself
as she waited for Logan to answer his cell phone. She had
to change the appointment the two of them had set up for
Daniel a few days ago. It just couldn't be helped.
"Barnes," he answered in a clipped voice and she
heard machinery in the background.
"Logan, it's Gina."
"Hold on a minute," he said to her. "I need to move
into an area where I can hear you."
She guessed he was at the denim factory the Barnes
family had owned and operated for decades.
Finally he said, "Okay, I'm in my office. What's up?"
Anyone listening in would think they knew each
other...would think maybe they were friends again.
Friends. Could they even come close to that?
"Logan, I need to change Daniel's appointment. Can
we switch it from Monday night to Wednesday night?"
He was quiet for a few moments, then
responded, "Gina, if you don't have time to do this, maybe
I should find someone else."
They were going to have to clear the air at some
point and bring everything out into the open...what had
happened since she'd left. Not even her parents knew she'd
been raped during her first year at college. But now just
wasn't the right time to go into it with Logan.
"I'd like to help Daniel if I can, but Family Tree
set up a meeting for all its practitioners on Monday
evening. There are budget and billing concerns and the
decision to have the meeting was made just last night.
It's not something I can opt out of."
The only sound she heard was her pulse in her
temples, then Logan's deep baritone, a little lower and
huskier now. It affected her the way it always had, making
her nerve endings come alive.
"I see. I shouldn't have jumped to the conclusion
you didn't want to treat Daniel. But in our situation—"
"I don't run from patients who need me."
"No, but you might run from me."
Because she had run once before. She couldn't get
into that over the phone. "So will Wednesday at six work
for you?" she asked, ignoring his comment.
After a pause, he agreed, "It will work. We'll see
how Daniel responds that time of evening. If you think the
appointments need to be during the day, I'll take off work
if I have to."
"You're there now?"
"Yes. A malfunction with one of the machines."
"Is it unusual for you to be there on a Saturday?"
"Not really. If we have orders, we cut the
material. That's the only way to stay ahead these days.
Fortunately, denim is as popular as it ever was, all
different grades, old ways of making it and new."
They could talk about his business or…she could say
what was in her heart.
"Logan, the other night, I wanted to tell you how
sorry I am about your wife."
"Thank you." His voice was strained.
"Sometime maybe you can tell me about it. That might
help me with Daniel."
"You have his medical records. You know he was
premature. That's all you need."
She shouldn't have said anything because he wasn't
going to give an inch with her...even after all these
years. He wasn't going to tell her what his life was
about, except for Daniel. Maybe she'd feel the same way if
she'd lost her spouse.
"I didn't mean to pry. Really. But children are
little sponges. Emotions play into their physical
development."
She could hear Logan blow out a breath. "If there's
anything that I think will help Daniel, I'll tell you.
I'll see you at six on Wednesday."
"Six on Wednesday," she repeated. She thought she
heard him murmur, "Good-bye, Gina" but she couldn't be
sure.
When she said good-bye, he was no longer there.
Chapter Two
The following Tuesday evening, Gina stirred the pot
of soup then tasted it. She wrinkled her nose. Why didn't
her minestrone ever taste like her mother's?
She was replacing the lid when she heard the front
door slam. Raina called, "I'm home. What smells so good?"
"Soup. And I stopped for a loaf of bread to go with
it. Are you hungry?"
"For your soup? Yes."
Raina Greystone Gibson entered the kitchen. She was
a beautiful woman with a Cheyenne heritage. Her hair was
long, flowing past her shoulders. Usually she wore a
headband or clipped it in a low ponytail the way it was
tonight. It appeared black until she stood in the sun and
chestnut highlights gleamed. Gina had liked the pediatric
ear, nose, and throat doctor immediately when she'd met her
at Family Tree. Not long after, she'd learned Raina had
returned to Sagebrush from New York City where her husband,
a firefighter, had been killed on September 11.
"Is Lily still joining us?" Gina asked, hoping the
fertility specialist also practicing at Family Tree hadn't
been held up.
"Yes, I told her she could drive over with me, but
she had errands to run first. She'll be here in a little
while. She was glad we invited her for dinner since Troy
had a meeting. I'm not sure how she'll handle it when he's
employed to the Middle East."
This summer Lily's husband Troy, a member of the
Texas Army National Guard, would be deployed for pre-
mission training. Lily wouldn't even think about later in
the summer when he was gone.
"The support group for military families will help
her and so will we."
Raina went to the cupboard and began removing dishes
she could use to set the table. "Speaking of support, I
really enjoyed dinner with your family on Sunday."
Gina removed the lid from the soup again and stirred
it. "My mom said you're invited again this week. Everyone
liked you. Especially my nephew Evan. I think he has a
crush on you."
Raina laughed. "Since he's twelve, give him a week and
he'll have a crush on someone else."
Shortly after Raina had moved in with Gina, she'd
admitted she didn't date. She'd also confided she never
intended to marry again. She understood loving and losing
better than most.
Maybe that was what prompted Gina to ask, "Do you
know Logan Barnes?"
After closing the cupboard, Raina glanced at
Gina. "The Logan Barnes? The CEO of Barnes Denim? The
mover and shaker who dines with the governor and owns real
estate from San Diego to Sydney...the man who set up a
charitable foundation to fund cancer research?" She'd
listed some of his accomplishments as if to say that
everyone, especially in the state of Texas, had heard of
him.
"That would be the one," Gina confirmed.
"We don't exactly move in the same circles," Raina
said, flashing Gina a grin. Why?"
"I met Logan when I graduated from high school. His
father hired me to work in the stables on the estate.
Logan and I...well, we connected that summer."
Raina took the dishes to the table. How serious?"
Gina remembered his mother's antique locket that he'd
given her after they'd made love for the first time. She'd
returned it when she'd said good-bye. "He wanted me to
stay and marry him, but I left and went to college," Gina
explained as simply as she could. "I ran into him this
week and... It's obvious he's still angry with me."
Now Raina studied Gina. "Does it matter to you?
That he's angry?"
If that wasn't a perceptive question. "Yes, I guess
it does. After all these years, I thought maybe he'd think
of me less harshly."
"Was college the only reason you broke up with him?"
One of the qualities Gina admired most about Raina
was her ability to see deeply into any situation.
"Lots of reasons." She thought about Logan's father,
his warning that he'd disinherit Logan if she got too
serious about him. She recalled her parents' advice and
her older sister, Josie's practical admonition not to marry
too young—because she'd had to. "I had a full
scholarship," Gina explained to Raina. "No one in our
family had graduated from college. But mainly Logan's
father had his own ideas about who Logan should marry. I
was too insecure to stay and fight for our love. I didn't
think I had a chance. I thought about coming back and
marrying him after I got to college, but then something
happened that changed my life and I was on a different
track."
"Changed your life?"
Even though Gina and Raina had only known each other
a few months, Raina was fast becoming a trusted friend.
Gina considered telling her about the date rape that had
occurred two months into her first college semester.
The doorbell rang.
"That must be Lily," Raina said, halting their
conversation with a concerned look.
"It's okay," Gina assured her. "We can talk about it
another time."
Raina nodded. "Any time you want to."
When the doorbell rang again, she crossed the kitchen
to the living room, unaware of what Gina had been about to
disclose.
Moments later, Gina heard Lily's voice. As she
entered the kitchen, Gina smiled broadly at the bubbly
blonde who seemed to bring sunshine with her whenever she
stepped into the room.
Lily held a bag in her arms and set it on the eat-in
counter.
"I told you you didn't have to bring anything," Gina
protested.
"I didn't bring much. Just a couple of deli salads
and..." She produced half of a chocolate cake with peanut
butter icing. "I thought we needed a little decadence."
Gina didn't know when she'd last felt decadent.
"Thank you," she said, meaning it, glad she'd taken
the time to get to know Lily at a practitioner's cocktail
party at the Family Tree. Lily's specialty practice
enabled women to conceive. She was upbeat, always ready
with a smile and a hug.
Lily glanced around the kitchen to the patio
beyond. "You two are lucky to have found this place. It's
a great house."
"It's big, but it's cozy, too," Raina assured
her. "It kind of wraps itself around you. When I first
walked into the foyer to consider living here with Gina, it
felt like home. It's hard to explain."
"You have heard the rumor about it, haven't you?"
Lily asked.
"What rumor?" both women returned.
"Well, since Tessa Rossi, Emily Madison and Francesca
Fitzgerald all lived here and have now gotten married,
supposedly, the rumor is, any woman who lives here will
find true love."
"I like the rumor," Gina said. "But I think it's
wishful thinking."
"Maybe for me," Raina decided. "But what about you?"
Lily looked from one woman to the other. "What don't
I know...besides the obvious million things?"
Gina felt heat creep into her cheeks. "I...ran into
someone I used to date before I left Sagebrush for college."
"There's a story there." Lily's blue eyes twinkled.
"There certainly is," Gina agreed. "But it will
keep. Bring over those soup dishes and we'll start our
meal with minestrone."
"An old family recipe?" Lily asked hopefully,
apparently aware Gina wanted to change the topic. "One
that you can share?"
"Well, I can share it. Just don't ever tell my
mother that I put canned tomatoes in the pot. She'd be
horrified."
Gina focused on the soup recipe and the meal she was
about to share with her two friends, sure she could prevent
herself from thinking about Logan and Daniel.
Couldn't she?
#
Logan never expected to be in this position...in his
house with Gina playing with his son in the family room.
His and Amy's son.
On Wednesday evening, Gina encouraged Daniel to fall
onto the ball that was just his size. She'd brought a mat
along, too, so if he tumbled off, he wouldn't hurt himself.
"Come on, Daniel. Let's rock back and forth." She
was holding his hands as he lay over the ball and pushed
with his feet.
Logan knew they weren't actually playing. They were
working. But Daniel would never suspect that, not from the
way Gina interacted with him.
"We never use this room," Logan said to himself, but
it must have been loud enough for Gina to hear.
"Why not? It's a beautiful room."
She was right. It was. The carpet was plush and an
ocean blue. The draperies were thick. The furniture was a
mixture of tan and gray and blue-green, cushiony and
comfortable. If he ever wanted to watch a game on the huge
flat screen TV, he'd feel as if he were in the middle of it.
Something Logan couldn't define urged him to be
honest with Gina. "My wife redecorated this room. I
thought we'd be playing on the floor with Daniel, watching
kid videos with him on the TV."
After their gazes held for a long moment, Gina broke
eye contact and let Daniel roll off the ball. She tussled
with him a couple of minutes, making him laugh, then she
let him sit there with a few toys just to see what he would
do.
"Would you rather I move Daniel into his playroom?
I'd like him out of his comfort zone so he'll have to go a
distance to get to wherever he wants."
"The room's here," Logan responded offhandedly. "We
might as well use it."
Their gazes locked again, and he saw something on
Gina's face that stabbed at his heart. Was it regret? Was
it guilt?
He almost moved closer to her, anything to relieve
the tension that had pulled between them from the moment
she'd walked back into his life.
The tension was abruptly broken when Hannah came
rushing into the room. "That reporter's here again,
Logan. He wants to do a story on you for the Style section
of the Sunday paper. What should I tell him?"
"I'll take care of it," Logan assured her and strode
out of the room, glad for the interruption, glad to escape
the web of emotion that seemed to surround him whenever
Gina was within arm's reach.
#
After Logan left the family room, Hannah
declared, "He doesn't like publicity, so that makes
reporters want to come after him even more."
Before Gina could think better of it, she said, "If I
remember correctly, Logan's father didn't like publicity,
either."
Hannah shot her a quizzical look. "You knew Elliot
Barnes?"
"I can't say I knew him. He was my employer one
summer."
Watching Daniel play with the toys Gina had given
him, Hannah sat on the sofa. "Oh, I see. The two men are
as different as night and day, though. Mr. Barnes senior
didn't want publicity because he just didn't want to be
bothered. After his stroke, he became quite a recluse.
Little by little, he turned everything over to Logan. Now
Logan, on the other hand, doesn't want publicity because he
thinks it's foolish and should be saved for something
important—like the charities he backs—not a dinner he's
giving or an event he's attending. But reporters always
want to know all about his life. That's when Logan clams
up."
Gina hadn't known Elliot Barnes had suffered a
stroke. Had it been severe? She was about to ask Hannah
when Daniel crawled to his nanny and pleaded, "Up?"
She looked down at him with a fond smile. "Oh, no.
I'm not picking you up. Those are the new rules."
Gina laughed. "I'll bet they are. That smile of his
and those green eyes could melt any heart."
Daniel tugged on Hannah's slacks.
"I gave him quite a workout," Gina relented. "I
think we're finished for today."
"We've gotten an official okay," Hannah said to
Daniel as she stooped over and lifted him. "Time for your
supper." She glanced at the balls, blocks, and the push
toy Gina had brought along. "Do you need help gathering
all that?"
"Oh, no. You take care of Daniel. I'll be fine."
After Hannah left the room with the toddler, Gina
began collecting what she'd brought. She'd been strung
tight ever since she'd entered the house. Usually when she
was working with a child, that baby was her main focus.
Daniel had been her focus, but she'd also been aware of
Logan watching her...aware of Logan. There was a vibrating
energy connecting them, like a live wire. She didn't know
how to break it, deflect it, or let it burn out.
When Logan reentered the room, he'd rolled up his
white shirt sleeves and opened the first few buttons of his
shirt. He looked strong. Totally male. Absolutely sexy.
She swallowed hard, realizing how much she was still
attracted to him. "Trouble?" she asked, just to say
something.
"No. Just an eager journalism student wanting to
make a name for himself."
Gina moved toward the corner of the mat she'd opened
on the plush carpeting to give extra padding. As she
folded it, Logan came to help her. They practically
brushed shoulders. Both jerked away.
She knew she had to do something about the
awkwardness between them. "Logan, I don't have to be the
one who helps Daniel."
Logan rubbed his hand up and down the back of his
neck. "No, I suppose you don't. But he obviously relates
well to you. I don't want to mess with that. Hannah's
been the only woman in his life since he was born."
"What happened?" Gina asked softly.
Logan's green gaze was penetrating as he studied her,
trying to decipher why she wanted to know.
Finally he answered, "One day Amy and I were on top
of the world, the next an earthquake destroyed everything
we thought we were building."
As if he knew he was being cryptic, he sat on the
sofa, studied the carpet for a few moments, then met Gina's
gaze. Something in his eyes drew her to him and she
lowered herself beside him, though not too close.
When he started talking, Gina knew he didn't discuss
this often because his voice was strained.
"Amy was ecstatic when she discovered she was
pregnant," he began. "We'd been married a few years, and
we both wanted kids. She'd been working hard at her career—
she was a real estate agent and intended to keep selling
properties after our baby was born. But soon after she
learned she was pregnant, she had symptoms that sent us to
a neurologist and then a neurosurgeon. She had a brain
tumor."
Gina desperately wanted to reach out to Logan, to
touch his arm. Yet she couldn't. She had no right. "I'm
so sorry." She was. She'd never wanted anything but
happiness for him. That's why she'd left.
Logan didn't seem to hear her. He stared across the
room and explained, "Her doctor wanted to treat the cancer
aggressively but Amy wouldn't let him do surgery or put
anything in her body that could damage Daniel. She decided
if she survived the pregnancy, she'd have treatment after
our baby was born. But that day never came. She had a
stroke at thirty-two weeks. The doctors performed a C-
section and she died shortly after."
One look at Logan's face and Gina knew he was
reliving that time in his life. Did he want comfort? Did
he want sympathy? Or did he just need to look forward?
Gina didn't want to trample over sacred ground so she
asked, "How long was Daniel in the hospital?"
"Eight weeks...a terrifically long eight weeks."
"Who was his doctor?"
"Francesca Talbott. I think it's Fitzgerald now."
"Yes, it is. She shared the house with me until she
got married," Gina said softly.
"It really is a small world, isn't it?" he asked,
finally looking at her.
"It can be."
After a silence-filled pause, Logan asked, "Did you
marry?"
His question surprised her. "No."
What would he say if she told him what happened? It
really made no difference to their relationship. She'd
left him, no matter what had happened afterward. "I've
been focused on my work all these years, trying to make a
name in my field."
"So why come back to Sagebrush now?" He looked
genuinely perplexed.
"I'm not exactly sure. I began missing my family
more. I knew I needed something different—closer friends,
bonds, actual fun."
The lines on Logan's face told her he hadn't had fun
in a long time, not since before his wife died. Daniel
might bring him joy, but Gina had the feeling it was
fleeting.
"We really don't have to work in here, Logan. I
understand how memories can suck the air out of the room."
Logan shrugged. "If I get used to seeing Daniel
playing in here, crawling in here, maybe eventually walking
in here, it will be fine."
She could only imagine what Logan had been through—
his wife's diagnosis, losing her and at the same time
dealing with Daniel's hospital stay. "It takes a while to
recover from any trauma." She knew that all too well.
Counseling sessions and talking and crying and just putting
one foot in front of the other, even when you thought you
couldn't, took energy, motivation and sometimes steel-
will. Logan had all of those. Still...
Logan stared at a picture of Daniel on a side table.
Gina assured him, "He's a wonderful little boy.
Quick and learning more each day. When I arrived, I
suggested to Hannah if you fill the two bottom cupboards in
the kitchen with pots and pans, colorful containers,
anything Daniel might feel he'd like to get into, that
might give him more motivation to explore his world."
Logan was quiet a moment, then he turned his focus to
her. "I guess parents are always supposed to teach their
kids to explore the world."
"That gets scarier for both the parents and kids as
they get older. Learning to walk across the room suddenly
becomes all-day kindergarten and then piano lessons, and
then driving and dating!"
Logan remarked, "Your parents encouraged you to
explore your world. Your education was as important to
them as it was to you."
"It wasn't just my education," Gina said quietly,
hoping she could break through the icy wall Logan had
constructed between them.
"I know. There was your younger sister. Did she
eventually go to school?"
"Yes, she did. Angie is a nurse and I'm proud of
her." If only they could keep talking—
Suddenly Logan stood. "It's good you don't have any
regrets."
She hadn't said she didn't have regrets.
Logan went on, "This is bath night and it's one of
the things I enjoy doing most with my son, at least until
he gets old enough to ride a horse. I'll help you gather
this up and walk you out."
As he stuffed a toy elephant and lion into one of her
draw-string bags, she asked him, "Are you still angry that
I left?"
His answer was slow in coming as his gaze finally met
hers. "I'll probably always be angry that you left.
But...if you hadn't left, I wouldn't have Daniel. I love
him more than anything in this world."
There was nothing she could say to that.
#
A few days later, when Gina stopped in at the Target
that had recently opened in Sagebrush, she ran through the
baby department. It was a habit, keeping her eye out on
the latest trends in toys and car seats, in strollers and
play furniture. Tonight, she pushed her cart around the
corner into the toy department. There, she stopped cold.
Logan stood in front of a shelf, holding a remote
control car in one arm, studying the RC truck directly in
front of him.
For a nanosecond, Gina thought about turning around
and going the other way. Logan didn't have to know she'd
seen him. He didn't have to know she was here. But that
was the coward's way out. She was no longer a coward. At
least she hoped she wasn't.
Rolling her cart up beside him, she asked, "Looking
for a new hobby?"
He went still, then he turned to face her. "No," he
drawled in that Texas deep baritone that had always curled
her toes. "I thought Hannah and I might take bets on who
could run their car across the yard the fastest."
Gina laughed at his wry tone. "I bet Daniel would
enjoy that. He might even chase one."
"That's the idea," Logan assured her.
At that moment, they both understood the motivation
Daniel needed to learn to walk. It was the first tension-
free moment she and Logan had shared.
He nodded to her cart filled with three pairs of
shorts and a few knit tops. "New wardrobe for summer?" he
joked.
Actually it was. She didn't owe him any explanations
but she explained anyway. "I lost a few pounds so I needed
something that fit a little better than what was in my
closet."
"Intentionally?"
"What?" she asked, lost in his eyes for the moment.
"Did you lose weight intentionally?"
He was looking at her in a way that made her nerve
endings dance. She hadn't felt that way when a man looked
at her for a very long time. "No, not intentionally. With
the move, a new job, a new life really, it just happened."
"Are you glad you moved back here?"
Standing here face to face with Logan, she wasn't
quite sure how to answer. Finally she responded, "I like
the life I'm building. I like the new friends I've made.
My practice is rewarding and it's good to be near family
again."
"You stayed away a long time."
"Yes, I did, in part because I didn't want to face
you."
For a moment, Logan's guard slipped and he looked
astonished. Was he surprised she'd been so honest? Maybe
that's what they needed between them, some old-fashioned
honesty. Just how far was she willing to go with it?
"You didn't have to face me," he said evenly.
"We live in a small town, Logan. I knew eventually
I'd run into you."
"Why didn't you send someone else from Baby Grows to
evaluate Daniel?"
She expected this question had been bothering him
since the night she'd appeared at his house. "As I told
you, I do all the evaluations. I wasn't going to shirk my
responsibility."
He seemed to mull that over. "You're an expert in
your field."
"Some people would say that."
"And now that we have come face to face?" he asked,
his voice challenging.
"I'd like you to forgive me," she blurted out,
without considering the consequences.
There seemed to be a sudden hush all around them.
Then Logan shifted, adjusting the toy under his arm. "I
don't know what to say to that. When you left, the bottom
dropped out of my world in more ways than one. I've never
forgotten how that felt. I've never forgotten how you
didn't even have time to have a conversation when I called
you in Connecticut."
She couldn't deal with this here. What had she
expected when she'd started this? That it would be easy?
That he'd forgive her and they'd go on being friends?
"Logan, things had happened..."
He gave a short laugh. "Yes, I'm sure they had. You
probably met someone at school and—"
"No, nothing like that."
He looked startled at her vehemence. "You're not the
same Gina you were fourteen years ago."
"I certainly hope not." She tried to keep her tone
light. They hadn't spent enough time together to know how
each other had changed.
Logan cocked his head, studying her with those
penetrating eyes that had so often seen right through her.
But not tonight. She held secrets he'd never know about
unless they could find more common ground than this.
If she brought the conversation back to Daniel, maybe
the tension between them would ease. "I was thinking..."
she said slowly.
He waited for her to go on.
"Can you to bring Daniel to Baby Grows on Saturday?
I'd like to ask Tessa to stop in with her two children and
I want to watch Daniel react with them, play with them. We
have more equipment there, too."
"Tessa won't mind giving up her Saturday morning?"
"After rounds, she usually takes the kids to the
library. She said she'd just bring them to Baby Grows
instead."
"All right, I can do that. Do you have appointments
before Daniel, or do you want me to pick you up?"
Logan had always been a gentleman, and thoroughly
polite. He was being courteous now and she shouldn't read
any more into his offer than that. "I do have other
appointments, but thanks for offering." Before she saw
more recriminations in his eyes, she pointed to the
shelf. "So which one are you going to buy?"
"You have a car when you work with him. I think I'll
go with the truck."
"What about Hannah?"
He rewarded her with a small smile. "Maybe she'd
like the motorcycle."
Gina laughed. "She probably would."
After he stacked the motorcycle on top of the truck,
he asked her, "Are you finished shopping?"
"Yes."
"I'll walk you out."
More courtesy? Her heart was already in overdrive
and now it sped up a little more.
Walking beside Logan, she was reminded just how tall
he was, just how broad his shoulders were, just how slim
his hips were in his black jeans. He walked enough
distance away that their arms wouldn't brush. She didn't
glance at him, but she felt him looking at her. She
pretended not to be affected by either his presence beside
her, or his gaze on her, but she was.
At the checkout line, they didn't speak as she used
her credit card, then picked up her packages. He went
through and paid in cash.
Then he took her bag from her. "I'll carry this to
your car for you."
Being with Logan was a combination of bittersweet and
exciting. She knew he'd be relieved if he went his way and
she went hers, yet she didn't want to leave his company.
Just like so many years ago.
At her car, she used the remote to unlock the doors
and pop the trunk. They went around to the back and he
dropped her purchases inside. There was a duffel bag there.
"Do you belong to a gym?" he asked as if he was
curious about her life now.
"No, but I walk whenever I can. In Lubbock at
lunchtime, sometimes I do a couple of laps around the
Center. In Sagebrush, I like to take the trail around the
lake."
"You always did like the outdoors." He slammed the
lid of her trunk.
"I still do. I hiked a lot in New England. Here,
I'd like to take up riding again. Francesca and I have
gone on a couple of trail rides at her ranch. I've ridden
at Tessa's, too. I'd forgotten how wonderful it feels to
be on horseback."
Logan walked to her car door and stood very close, so
close she could reach up and touch his jawline, so close
she could see that the lines around his eyes and his mouth
weren't superficial. They'd been carved from pain. All
she wanted to do was ease them away.
"You asked me about forgiving you..." His voice was
low and husky.
She held her breath and waited.
"I can't give you an answer, Gina, and I don't know
if time will help or not. That night after we split up, my
father had a stroke."
That night. A rush of dread made her cold all
over. "What happened?"
He looked away from her as if warring with himself over
the answer. "We argued about you."
Her chest felt tight. "Why?"
"I went riding after you left, trying to figure out what
to do. When I got back to the barn, dad confronted me. He
said I was better off without you. But I didn't believe
that. I was going to talk to your parents...convince them
they were interfering and they shouldn't be...convince you
that we could make something work long distance. Dad
grabbed my arm. I tore away. And then— Suddenly he
couldn't speak and he collapsed."
Gina was stunned. A tiny shard of guilt pierced her
heart at the realization that she hadn't been there for
Logan.
"I called the paramedics and he was rushed to the
hospital. We managed to keep all of it quiet. Dad
abhorred publicity and the hospital and medical personnel
were cooperative. His recovery took about three months.
He was fortunate he regained his speech and most of his
mobility. But the whole process was—" Logan halted as if
he didn't want to admit how much his father's collapse and
recovery had affected him.
"I'm so sorry," she managed to say, feeling so much
sympathy for him tears welled in her eyes. "Three months,"
she murmured. "That's around when you called—"
"I was hoping we could just talk. I was hoping—" He
shook his head. "But you didn't have time to talk. You
had to run off to take a test."
"You never called again," she said softly,
remembering how numb she'd been after the rape for such a
long time. She had had a test that day. But more
important, she'd been too raw to talk to anyone. Should
she tell Logan that? Could he possibly understand?
No. This wasn't about her. The distance between them was
all about her letting Logan down in so many ways. If she
had fought for the love she'd felt for him, then maybe more
than one tragedy could have been avoided.
"Logan, I don't know what to say."
"You don't have to say anything."
She heard a car door slam...children laughing near
the store's exit.
So much had happened to both of them. She'd lost her
sense of safety, her trust in her judgment, her trust in
men. Logan had gone on to marry and lost a wife he'd
obviously loved. He now had a son his wife had died to
save. How much more he must love her for that. How much
he must cherish Daniel as the gift his wife had given him.
The twelve-foot-high parking lot light lit up the
area where Gina's car was parked. In the blink of an eye,
she thought she saw a flash of tenderness in Logan's eyes.
But then whatever emotion he'd felt disappeared.
They'd been standing as close as two people having an
intimate conversation would be, but now he took a step
back. "I'll see you Saturday morning at Baby Grows."
Her throat tightened and she wanted to reach out and
hug him, hold onto him, cry with him. Instead, she simply
nodded.
A few feet away, Logan waited until she slid into her
car, closed the door, and started the engine. Then he
strode to his car as she drove away, swiping at the lone
tear that rolled down her cheek.
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