Excerpt of Shades of Gray by Jacquelin Thomas

"I would like to make a toast…." Rodney's eyes traveled the length of the oversized formal dining room, summoning the attention of his guests.

Standing by him, Sela openly admired Rodney. He stood tall and regal, looking very handsome in a black tux that hugged his body as if it had been designed just for him. His deep blue eyes framed a square face, bronzed by the sun, and the set of his chin suggested a stubborn streak. At the age of forty, while some men were going bald, Rodney still had a wealth of ash blond hair.

There was no doubt in Sela's mind that Rodney Barnes was the best-looking man in the room. She wove her fingers through his, their coppery color a warm contrast against the coolness of his tawny skin. Sela loved her husband more than life itself and never tired of looking at him.

Earlier, they had renewed their vows in a formal ceremony to celebrate their twentieth wedding anniversary and afterward had returned to their new home of six months for the reception.

Sela drew her attention back to Rodney, a smile tugging at her lips. He was still trying to get everyone to quiet down.

He's up to something, she suspected. Knowing him as well as she did, Sela had a feeling that Rodney was about to do something terribly romantic.

Rodney cleared his throat and stated in a louder voice this time, "I'm glad y'all are having such a good time, but I'd like to take a few minutes of your time so that I can make a toast to my wife."

This time everyone in the room heard him, their conversations dying down to a hush.

Sela met her mother's gaze and smiled.

It had taken Althea Johnson a while to warm up to Rodney when they had first gotten married, but now she loved him like a son.

Rodney's gaze swept the room again, making sure everyone had a glass of sparkling cider, before he returned to his wife, taking her right hand in his left.

He looked down into her eyes and said, "Sela, we've been through a lot over the years. The better and the worse… I have to admit that not always the better prevailed. We've seen the richer and the poorer."

Rodney's grin grew wider, making Sela's heart skip a beat. "The sickness sometimes outran the health, but through it all, I can't say I have any regrets. It has been my highest honor to be your husband. Twenty years ago on this very day, I pledged my heart to you till death do us part. Earlier, we renewed those vows and tonight I only have one wish, and that's for the rest of our dreams to come true."

Holding up his glass, Rodney continued, "Here's to the beautiful woman I married — to the wonderful mother of my children. Thank you for the past twenty years of marriage and I'm looking forward to the next twenty plus. I love you so much, Sela. You are a dream come true for me." His deep baritone voice died off, watered down by emotion as he tapped his flute gently against hers.

Sela was too choked up to respond amidst the clapping and oohs and aahs. Rodney's words had touched her deeply — she knew he'd meant every word spoken. She and Rodney had been through a lot over the years and their marriage had thrived despite the doom and gloom spouted on a regular basis by Rodney's parents. Sela felt like she was the luckiest woman alive, having found such a loving and wonderful man.

Rodney leaned forward to whisper, "I meant every word I said, honey. I love you and I am so blessed to have you in my life."

"I love you, too," Sela whispered back. There was so much she wanted to say to him, but for the moment she was too overwhelmed to find the right words. When they got married March thirteenth all those years ago, it was in front of a Justice of the Peace and their parents. Rodney had always promised to give her the wedding of her dreams.

Tonight he'd kept that promise, Sela whispered in her heart as her eyes traveled the room, noting friends and family gathered throughout.

The only ones present who didn't share in their joy were Roman and Ethel Barnes, her in-laws. They didn't like that Rodney had married an African-American woman. They had accused her of trapping their son into marriage when she had become pregnant at seventeen. They also blamed Sela for Rodney's dropping out of college at the age of twenty. According to them, she'd ruined his life.

Just thinking about her in-laws soured Sela's mood. Their intense dislike of her felt like clothes that were too tight whenever they were around. She removed her hand from his and began pulling at her sleeves.

"What's wrong, honey?"

Rodney's voice cut into her thoughts, effectively pulling her out of the reach of unpleasant memories. Embracing him, Sela responded, "Nothing's wrong. Everything is just fine. Tonight couldn't be more perfect."

Before she could say more, friends wanting to say goodbye interrupted their private conversation.

Out of the corner of her eye, Sela saw her mother-in-law coming her way and dropped her head.

Although she pretended to be interested in the conversation between Rodney and his friends, Sela's body unconsciously tensed for battle and her trembling fingers fluttered over the rhinestones sewn on her ivory-colored lace jacket, covering the satin gown.

She made herself stop fidgeting; take a deep breath and calm down. Sela cast a quick look over at her mother-in- law, who was patiently waiting her turn to speak with them.

Although Sela wouldn't admit it aloud, she felt inadequate around Ethel. The woman carried herself as if she'd been born with a silver spoon in her mouth, despite Rodney's insistence that his mother had grown up poor. Tonight she was garbed in a beautiful dress Sela recognized as an Adrienne Vittadini design, and a good seven or eight inches taller than her, Ethel used her five ten height to her advantage.

Towering over Sela with hands on her hips, Ethel's voice was filled with censure. "Don't you think it's time you put the twins to bed? Children need consistency in their lives."

Can you say that any louder? Sela wanted to ask. The people next door couldn't hear you. Speaking as calmly as she could, Sela instead replied, "The only reason they're still up is because this is a special occasion, Mrs. Barnes. You don't have to worry about your grandchildren. I have everything under control." Ethel knew that the five- year-old girls had a rigid bedtime schedule. She just wanted to ruin Sela's evening.

"Well, I am worried, Sela."

Ethel gestured dramatically around the room, drawing unnecessary attention to them. Sela believed this was another one of her regular attempts to publicly humiliate her.

"This is an adult party. If you're not going to use good judgment in this situation, then I'll just take them upstairs and see that they get their proper rest," Ethel threatened as she ran her hand over her hair, smoothing back the chignon at her nape.

"I don't need you to take my children anywhere." Sela struggled to keep her voice low. "In case you've forgotten, these are my children, Mrs. Barnes. Not yours."

Looking down at Sela's petite frame, she stated, "Don't you dare take that tone with me. I told Rodney —"

"Whoa," Rodney interrupted. "Come on you two," he pleaded in a harsh whisper. "Why don't you and Sela call a truce — just for tonight? Okay?"

"I'm fine," Sela responded tersely. "It's your mother who has the problem."

"Mother. Sela and I agreed the children could stay up a little while longer. We appreciate your concern, but like Sela said…we have it under control."

It annoyed Sela whenever Rodney tried to act the diplomat. After all, it was his racist parents who were constantly giving her grief. Since they hated her so much, she didn't understand why they'd bothered to come to the ceremony at all.

"I was just concerned over the children getting their rest," Ethel uttered after a moment of tense silence.

Without another word, Ethel stalked off to join her husband, Roman, who had been watching them from his position near the door. Roman never said much to Sela and that suited her just fine. She didn't need the two of them on her back — especially tonight.

Sela heard the familiar sound of her own mother's bracelets jingling as she walked toward them. "Sweetie, is everything all right?" Althea asked.

She gave a slight nod. "Yes, Mama. Everything's fine." Althea glanced over her shoulder to where Ethel and Roman Barnes were standing and asked, "You sure?"

Nodding, Sela pasted a smile on her face. "Now go on and have a good time. You hear me?"

Althea glanced over at Rodney. "I saw Ethel sashaying from over here. I hope your mama is not upsetting my baby. This is her day."

He nodded in understanding. "You don't have to worry, Mom. I'm not gonna let her."

Althea patted Sela on the arm. "I'ma go make sure your father stays away from the shrimp. His cholesterol is sky- high and shellfish has a lot of it — you know how much he loves shrimp."

Hugging Sela, she whispered, "You look so beautiful, sugar. Now don't you worry about that Ethel Barnes. If I catch her bothering you again, I'ma have a li'l talk with her."

"Mrs. Barnes isn't gonna bother me," Sela assured her mother. She didn't relish the thought of a verbal confrontation between Althea and Ethel in the middle of her reception.

"I've known that uppity Ethel Barnes a long time, Sela. I'ma keep my eye on her just the same," Althea whispered before disappearing into the crowded room.

"Honey, don't let anything ruin this evening for us — especially my parents," Rodney pleaded in a low voice.

"You should be over there talking to your mama," Sela responded.

Turning away from Rodney, she mumbled, "I'll be right back."

"Where are you going?"

"I'm going to put the twins to bed before your mother has a fit."

Reaching out, Rodney pulled her back into his embrace. "I'm sorry."

"I know. You always say that." Backing out of his arms, Sela stated, "I have to put —"

"Ayanna can take them upstairs," Rodney suggested. "Or your mother."

Although they lived in Raleigh, their oldest daughter, Ayanna, opted to live in an apartment on the campus of North Carolina State University. Sela's eyes searched the dining room for her. She spotted her daughter talking to another relative and waved to get her attention.

Ayanna immediately excused herself and walked over to where her parents were standing. "What's wrong, Mom?"

"Nothing's wrong, sweetie." Sela brushed a stray curl from her daughter's face. "Could you please take the twins upstairs and make sure they go to bed for me?" She couldn't resist adding, "Your grandmother is worried that they won't get their proper rest." Sela could feel Rodney's gaze on her, but didn't care.