Izzie focused on forking the small amount of food she
thought she could consume into her mouth at the small
candlelit table Alex had set on the terrace. The herbed
pasta was delicious, but it was hard to eat when her heart
was still pounding and her hands trembling so much
negotiating a fork seemed like a new and highly complex
activity. And why wouldn't it when she had literally jumped
into the deep end and invited the most spectacularly good
looking man she'd ever met to kiss her--and he had! Not to
mention the fact that the kiss had been the most incredible
of her life and all she could think about was experiencing
more of the bone-meltingly delicious heat that had coursed
through her veins. It was like every nerve ending in her
body had been switched on for the first time and she wasn't
sure whether to revel in it or be completely terrified of
what she was feeling.
She swallowed hard, forced down the food. The fact that
she'd been right--that Alex was attracted to her--made her
head feel like it was going to blow off. Maybe Jo was
right. Maybe it had been her defensive attitude that had
turned men off in the past and not the fifteen extra pounds
she'd been carrying. Which had always been her excuse.
She took another sip of the rich, full Cabernet that was
going a long way to mellowing her out. But the wine didn't
seem to be having the same effect on Alex who'd glowered at
her throughout the entire meal-as if she'd committed a
crime rather than simply kissed him.
She risked a quick glance at him. He was still watching
her with that same, implacable frown on his face, that
penetrating blue gaze of his impossible to read. And it
occurred to her she hadn't fully thought through her plan.
She had the mind numbing confirmation he was attracted to
her...the question now was what was she going to do about
it?
Her heart pounding in her chest, she set her fork down with
an abrupt movement, and the sound of metal clattering
against fine china echoed in the still night air.
He gave her half-empty plate a narrowed glance. "That's all
you're going to eat?"
"It was delicious, thank you. I think that's about all I
can handle.'
"All right." He laid his fork down with a deliberate
movement and pushed his plate away. "Let's talk about what
happened."
Gladly. She took another sip of her wine to fortify
herself and set the glass down.
"That kiss shouldn't have happened."
She was ready for that one. "Why not?
"I'm much more experienced than you, Isabel. I'm not
interested in relationships, in fact mine never last longer
than a few months, and the women I date are well aware of
that."
"So?"
He did a double take at the belligerent note in her voice.
"You're also probably still in shock from what happened
today."
"I'm absolutely fine," she countered. "In fact I feel like
I have more clarity right now than I've ever had in my
life."
He sat back in his chair, his gaze on her face. "What kind
of clarity?"
She twisted the stem of her wine glass on the table,
watching the blood red liquid shimmer in the candlelight.
"That was my worst fear today. Facing it-getting through
it-" she paused, looking up at him, "--it's made me realize
how much of my life I've lived in fear...how many times
I've not gone after what I wanted because I was afraid I
wouldn't get it or it would explode in my face."
He gave a wary nod. "That's a good realization."
She shook her head. "I'm not looking for a relationship,
Alex." A husky laugh escaped her. "In fact, that's the
last thing I need right now."
His eyes narrowed. "Then what are you looking for?"
"I don't want to live with any more regrets."
He shook his head, a wry smile curving his lips. "You're
twenty-five, Isabel. How many regrets can you have?"
She took a deep breath, meeting his gaze head-on. "I will
regret it if I walk away from tonight without exploring the
attraction that's between us."
A muscle jumped in his jaw. He sat there completely
silent, staring at her. "I'm not sure you know what you're
doing."
She shook her head. "I know exactly what I'm doing."
A long moment passed, it might have been four, five
seconds, she wasn't sure. All she knew was that she was
holding her breath, sure at one point he was going to
reject her. The warm night air pressed so heavily against
her lungs she thought they would burst. And then something
shifted, morphed on the air between them. And she got her
answer in the darkening of his eyes.