He was a solitary creature by nature, but there was a
difference between being alone and lonely. At least this
time he knew better than to do something that would make it
worse instead of better.
He turned off half the lights, then climbed the back
staircase to his rooms above the shop. His furniture in the
living room was dark reds and black, and the lamps and the
pictures gleamed with touches of gold and silver. A meow
came from the black chair in the corner. Mystic, curled up,
wisely staying away from the fracas. On the table next to
the black chair, a tenor saxophone glimmered in the dusky
light.
Noah crossed the room, bent and picked Mystic up. Her
body was warm, pliant. He sat, draping her on his lap. She
allowed him to pet her, her body rumbling with purrs.
"I have you," he said. Usually he had more than one cat,
but he'd seen too many die. Every death wore on his soul.
Even beasts had souls, and sometimes lately he thought his
was rubbed down to translucency. Like a fine silk cloth, so
thin only threads remained.
A siren wailed outside. Mystic meowed, jumped off him
and padded into the kitchen.
He didn't follow her. He needed something to fill the
gaping emptiness inside him. To smooth his rippled
emotions. To bring him peace.
A need roared in his chest. Not for food, not for
liquor, not for women.
Music. That's what had kept him sane this all these
years. Kept him alive.
He picked up the saxophone, the metal smooth beneath his
fingers, bringing him a small measure of peace, mending the
torn threads of his soul.
Then he lifted it to his lips, took a breath, closed his
eyes and played "Is That All There Is?" The Peggy Lee
version. Slow and sexy and sad.
The sounds outside faded, and nothing mattered. Not
Beauty, not the thief, not the lonely, lonely years. Just
the music that poured through him and out of him. Out of
his soul.
When he finished, he sat in the chair for long moments
as night invaded the room, darkness falling around him like
a magician's cloak.
"Is that all there is?" he whispered to the silent
room. "Is that it?"
A noise answered, someone knocking on the alley door.