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The Myth of the Spoiled Child
Alfie Kohn
Challenging the Conventional Wisdom about Children and Parenting
Da Capo Lifelong Books
April 2014
On Sale: March 25, 2014
280 pages ISBN: 0738217247 EAN: 9780738217246 Kindle: B00G1SD9PI Hardcover / e-Book
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Somehow, a set of deeply conservative assumptions about
children--what they're like and how they should be
raised--have congealed into the conventional wisdom in our
society. Parents are accused of being both permissive and
overprotective, unwilling to set limits and afraid to let
their kids fail. Young people, meanwhile, are routinely
described as entitled and narcissistic...among other
unflattering adjectives. In The Myth of the Spoiled Child, Alfie Kohn systematically
debunks these beliefs--not only challenging erroneous
factual claims but also exposing the troubling ideology that
underlies them. Complaints about pushover parents and
coddled kids are hardly new, he shows, and there is no
evidence that either phenomenon is especially widespread
today--let alone more common than in previous generations.
Moreover, new research reveals that helicopter parenting is
quite rare and, surprisingly, may do more good than harm
when it does occur. The major threat to healthy child
development, John argues, is posed by parenting that is too
controlling rather than too indulgent. With the same lively, contrarian style that marked his
influential books about rewards, competition, and education,
Kohn relies on a vast collection of social science data, as
well as on logic and humor, to challenge assertions that
appear with numbing regularity in the popular press. These
include claims that young people suffer from inflated
self-esteem; that they receive trophies, praise, and As too
easily; and that they would benefit from more
self-discipline and "grit." These conservative beliefs are
often accepted without question, even by people who are
politically liberal. Kohn's invitation to reexamine our
assumptions is particularly timely, then; his book has the
potential to change our culture's conversation about kids
and the people who raise them.
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