St. Martin's Griffin
September 2013
On Sale: September 3, 2013
240 pages ISBN: 1250031842 EAN: 9781250031846 Kindle: B006JJPH86 Paperback / e-Book Add to Wish List
Dear ridiculously attractive person who just so happens to
be holding Tasteful Nudes in his or her soft and supple yet
commanding hands,
Hi. My name is Dave, and this is my very first collection of
essays. As you can probably imagine, it pretty much has
everything. In fact, if you like stories about stolen meat,
animal attacks, young love, death, naked people, clergymen,
rock 'n' roll, irritable Canadians, and prison, you have
just hit a street called Easy because my book talks about
all that stuff and a bunch of other stuff, too.
Getting back to that prison thing for a second—I can think
of almost no better place to read my book than from within
the confines of a correctional facility. For starters, you
will definitely have the time. Also, cozying up with a good
book in front of your fellow inmates is a great way to show
them a softer side that for some reason no one ever wants to
hear about in the yard.
Fear not, though, non-convicts, my book makes for a solid
read outside of prison, too. At the beach, on the subway,
while whitewater rafting, during couples counseling, under
local anesthesia—I have personally seen to it that my book
is totally readable in all these scenarios, as well as in
most other scenarios out there today. It will make you
laugh, cry, and maybe even think so much that you will
forget all your problems while simultaneously creating a few
new ones. In limited instances it has been known to cause
severe dehydration and the occasional groin pull, but
honestly I don’t know what that’s about. That said, it’s
probably not a bad idea to keep a glass of water handy and
really stretch things out before strapping yourself in for a
literary thrill ride you will want to experience again and
again until you are either dead or your eyesight fails
completely, whichever comes first. In fact, if I end up
being wrong about any of this stuff, you can kick me right
in the privates. Also, I will send you a nice ham (serves
twenty). In short, you really can’t lose on this one.
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