After being forced into a mental institution by her mother
for over two years, Cassie O'Malley couldn't be more ready
to start over at college. However, restarting her life is
more difficult than she imagined, and her mother's sudden
change of heart makes it even more complicated. In the end,
Cassie must decide to find her truth and hopefully with it,
the healing she has longed for.
THE FIRST TIME SHE DROWNED by Kerry Kletter is a moving
novel that doesn't shy away from the hard truths about
life.
Kletter does a marvelous job of balancing Cassie's present,
while giving the reader important flashbacks to her past,
withholding only the one thing Cassie herself has
repressed. In this form, the story isn't a typical
before-and-after structure, but rather gives an example of
a
complicated life where most of the bad and good exist
together, and they are sometimes hard to tell apart. Living
a
healthy and happy life becomes more of a question of what
is
toxic, what is sustainable, what is a life jacket, and what
is an anchor.
At the heart of this story are relationships: Cassie's with
her mother, Cassie's with her friends, and Cassie's with
herself. Her life has not been easy by any stretch, and she
is very aware that she often interacts negatively with
others, partly because any 'normal' societal protocol is a
little beyond her experience and partly because protecting
herself has become second nature. At the end of the day,
choice perhaps plays the most important role. Cassie must
choose if she should trust her mother and her stories,
trust
herself for knowing the truth, and whether she wants to
trust anyone else with her emotions.
Readers who loved the style of GIRL UNDERWATER by Claire
Kells and Rainbow Rowell's FANGIRL should dive headfirst
into THE FIRST TIME SHE DROWNED, where a lifejacket may
indeed be needed for all the tears.
The beautiful struggle of a girl desperate for the one
relationship that has caused her the most pain
Cassie O'Malley has spent the past two and a half years in a
mental institution—dumped there by her mother, against her
will. Now, at 18, Cassie emancipates herself, determined to
start over. She attends college, forms new friendships, and
even attempts to start fresh with her mother. But before
long, their unhealthy relationship threatens to pull Cassie
under once again. As Cassie struggles to reclaim her life,
childhood memories persist and confuse, and Cassie must
consider whose version of history is real, and more
important, whose life she must save.
A bold, literary story about the fragile complexities of
mothers and daughters and learning to love oneself, The
First Time She Drowned reminds us that we must dive deep
into our pasts if we are ever to move forward.