After being forced into a mental institution by her mother for over two years, Cassie O'Malley couldn't be more ready to start over at college. However, restarting her life is more difficult than she imagined, and her mother's sudden change of heart makes it even more complicated. In the end, Cassie must decide to find her truth and hopefully with it, the healing she has longed for.

THE FIRST TIME SHE DROWNED by Kerry Kletter is a moving novel that doesn't shy away from the hard truths about life. Kletter does a marvelous job of balancing Cassie's present, while giving the reader important flashbacks to her past, withholding only the one thing Cassie herself has repressed. In this form, the story isn't a typical before-and-after structure, but rather gives an example of a complicated life where most of the bad and good exist together, and they are sometimes hard to tell apart. Living a healthy and happy life becomes more of a question of what is toxic, what is sustainable, what is a life jacket, and what is an anchor.

At the heart of this story are relationships: Cassie's with her mother, Cassie's with her friends, and Cassie's with herself. Her life has not been easy by any stretch, and she is very aware that she often interacts negatively with others, partly because any 'normal' societal protocol is a little beyond her experience and partly because protecting herself has become second nature. At the end of the day, choice perhaps plays the most important role. Cassie must choose if she should trust her mother and her stories, trust herself for knowing the truth, and whether she wants to trust anyone else with her emotions.

Readers who loved the style of GIRL UNDERWATER by Claire Kells and Rainbow Rowell's FANGIRL should dive headfirst into THE FIRST TIME SHE DROWNED, where a lifejacket may indeed be needed for all the tears.