I set the phone down, just as Abby slides hers from the
pocket of her jeans and starts furiously tapping the
screen. The intense concentration on her face morphs into a
scowl before she throws the phone onto the carpet near her
bedroom door in frustration.
βYikes.β I raise my eyebrows at her.
βI want it on record that I did not want to talk to you
about this tonight,β she says fiercely.
I reach for the remote and pause her show. βHuh. You know,
I could almost have guessed that myself.β
βItβs not fair to dump this on you tonight after the
Warwick thing,β Abby exclaims.
βDump what onββ
βLuca is making me tell you and I want you to know that
before I evenβ¦you knowββ she exhales in frustration ββtell
you.β
βOkay,β I say, softening my tone. βThis is all Lucaβs
fault, got it. Now what is βthisβ?β
Abby squeezes her eyes shut very tight and draws in a deep
breath. When she finally speaks, her words tumble out so
close to one another it sounds like sheβs saying one
ridiculously long word.
βIβve-decided-to-have-a-baby-on-my-own-and-today-I-asked-
Luca-if-he-would-be-my-sperm-donor. I know this might seem
sudden, but I want you to trust me when I say that this is
what I need to do. And thatβs final.β
When she opens her eyes again, a moment or two has passed,
but Iβm still staring at her, slack-jawed at her
announcement. I think Iβd have been less surprised if she
told me she was moving to Antarctica or that sheβd decided
to shave her head.
Abby as a mom? Yes. I can very easily imagine that. I know
that on the bookshelf in her βcave,β she already has a
binder full of information about parenting, complete with
preferred schools for a hypothetical child, and a list of
possible baby names. Sheβs made no secret of the fact that
she desperately wants kids.
Abby as a single mom? Sure. Sheβs tough, caring and
capable.
But Abby choosing to be a single mom, at thirty years old?
Nothing about that makes sense. Abby has that damned binder
on her bookshelf precisely because she is the kind of
person who plans her life carefully and sheβs been thinking
about her sickeningly stereotyped nuclear family forever.
Itβs not just potential children sheβs put an immense
amount of thought intoβitβs also her potential future
husband, and the life she wants to build with him.
βButβ¦β Even when my voice decides itβs ready to work again,
my brain is still catching up. It doesnβt matter, because
Abby silences me with a fierce wave of her hand.
βAnd itβs not something weβre going to discuss tonight
because youβve had a tough day, itβs late and Iβm feeling
very emotional about it and Iβm not even close to being
ready to explain to you why this is happening. Weβll talk
about it in a few days when Luca has decided if heβs going
to do it. Okay? And donβt you even think about trying to
talk him out of it.β
βIβve never been able to talk Luca in to or out of
anything, not that Iβd do that to you, anyway,β I say
slowly. βI just donβt understand. Youβve always known
exactly the life you want for yourself. What happened to
the gamer husband you were going to find? What about the
house in the suburbs where youβre going to settle down?
What about the rescue dog named Charlie? How doesβ¦β Iβm
struggling to even say the words. βHow does Lucaβs baby fit
into that picture?β
βIt wonβt be Lucaβs baby,β Abby snaps at me, and leaps to
her feet. βThis will be my baby. Luca will be the babyβs
annoying uncle, which is exactly what you will be, too. No
one will know any different but me and Luca and⦠Austin
andβ¦β She groans in frustration. βNow you. End of story.β
Iβll respect her decision if she goes ahead with this. Iβll
support her all the way. How could I not? Abby is smart
enough to know what she wants, and strong enough to handle
all the challenges of parenthood, even on her own.
Itβs just that the more her announcement sinks in, the less
I understand it. Abby is the least impulsive person I knowβ
if sheβs seriously considering this, thereβsgot to be
something more to the story. My suspicion is confirmed by
the glint of tears in her eyes. She blinks rapidly, but
itβs quickly apparent that sheβs not going to be able to
control her emotions. Her face crumples even as she turns
away from me.
βIβm sorry to dump this on you tonight,β she chokes. βItβs
not fair that you have to deal with Warwick and now thisβ¦β
βAbs,β I say, bewildered. βYou arenβt dumping anything on
me. Please sit back down and talk to me, help me understand
ββ
βI canβt talk to you about this yet,β she whispers. βPlease
just respect my decision and Iβll explain when Iβ¦ Iβll talk
to you about it when Iβm ready.β
βButβ¦β
I rise, too, ready to pull her into my arms, but she shakes
her head and jogs quickly to her bedroom. Before I can even
take a step, her bedroom door slams shut.
The sound echoes through the apartmentβan undeniable full
stop on