Excerpt of Island Rendezvous by Michelle Monkou

Toni Kimball stretched her neck and rotated her shoulders to ease the stiffness. She wished that there was a similar exercise that could perform the same wonders on her brain. Maybe then the decision would be easier.

She sighed. If only the right answer would pop into her head. The thought of going anywhere on her own scared her. Fear had sunk in, anchoring its way into her mind. How could she decide when only negative thoughts came to mind?

Her mission this week was to make sure her furniture arrived at the storage facility in Glen Knolls, Maryland. Then she had to go to her new job, sign paperwork, have her photo ID taken, and participate in her company's standard drug test. Her job as an engineer started in three weeks.

Later, she'd have to check on her condo. She'd be moving into her new home in the next few weeks. This meant that she'd stay with her cousin for a week. Living with Donna, even for one week, would test her patience and temper.

But all of that faded to the back of her mind.

Nicole had waited until she came back to Glen Knolls, with an invitation to stay in her B&B, before hitting Toni with one of her crazy ideas.

Toni sat cross-legged on the bed with a pillow hugged to her chest, looking at her best friend. Nicole sat sideways in the armchair across the room, with her long brown legs dangling over the side. The scene reminded Toni of their college days when they shared an apartment, along with the joys and heartbreaks of dating.

"Oh, come on, Toni. You'd think that I was asking you to do a monumental task. It's a simple yes or no," Nicole insisted.

"You know it's not that simple. I can't just up and leave and go traipsing out of the country. To the Bahamas, nonetheless." Toni shook her head. "I have things to do."

Nicole sucked her teeth. "Name one thing."

"I'm helping my mother with painting the bathroom. My father can't mow the lawn like he used to, and instead of paying an expensive fee, I'm helping with that chore. Plus my parents are empty nesters. They need the company."

"It's been six months that you've been living there," Nicole reminded her gently. "I think they got along without you and they are in no way as dependent as you're making them sound. Your father did the 10k race two months ago, and your mother's never home because she is a social butterfly. It's time —"

"To move on with my life. There. I've said it for you." Toni finished with an emotional lump in her voice. Her eyes prickled with ready tears. Her throat closed painfully over a sob as she avoided Nicole's perceptive gaze.

"I didn't say that or mean that. I'm concerned that you're trying to bury yourself under what's important to other people."

"Oh, here we go with the psychobabble." Toni rolled her eyes. She wished Nicole would quit badgering her.

"For example, you hate yard work. And painting? Please. You don't even paint your toenails, much less a room."

"Maybe I've changed."

"Or not. I'm looking for my old friend Toni. I'm looking for that woman who could chew you up and spit you out with a look or that sharp tongue. I want to see that cute, sassy woman with the big butt and a smile."

"And it's gotten bigger." Toni ran her hands over her hips. In the old days, she enjoyed the simple things. Her exercise regimen began in the mornings with a jog before work. Now that was a thing in the past. Twice a month, she'd volunteer at the neighborhood library. Once her world imploded, she didn't care to do anything or be around anyone.

She had a reputation of being a savvy shopper who could sniff a bargain. At the end of each season, she went after stores with overstocked inventory and discontinued items. Now the reclining chair in the family room was the only thing that garnered her attention. The chair, remote, and TV became her world, safe and undemanding.

"It'll get better. Give yourself a chance. You're too tough on yourself."

"I feel worn out." Toni fell back onto the bed, looking up at the ceiling.

She hadn't wanted to intrude on Brad and Nicole. Getting Toni to agree to stay with them while in town took their combined effort. She hated to intrude on the newlyweds.

When Nicole'd shown her the blue colonial, she'd envied her friend's keen eye for its potential. The farmhouse had an expansive property. For the weary traveler, the house provided a retreat from urban sprawl and noisy neighbors while rejuvenating the spirit.

The Montgomery B&B had more than hospitality. Originally, Nicole discovered the house's history quite by accident when she came upon an old newspaper article. She had successfully registered the property with the historical society. Old houses have character and personality that are part of history and past owners. The B&B played an integral role in the Underground Railroad during slavery more than a hundred years ago; its role was to shelter and protect the human spirit.

Toni stared up at the thick solid beams crisscrossing the roof, supporting the structure. It had been a temporary haven for those seeking refuge. She, too, was in need of such a haven, but lately she felt as if life was weighing her down emotionally and even physically.

"I get to be a statistic. One divorced woman sitting in your sights. I should've never married Clayton Boyd." She punched the pillow. "He doesn't deserve to be called a man. Nicole, he told so many lies." She'd wanted to hear how much he cared for her. She was disgusted with herself for thinking that getting married was the only solution.

Once they married, she played at being the perfect wife, making him the center of her universe. Over time, she ignored the niggling doubts. Instead she focused on creating a happy home for their child. No matter how hard she tried, all her good thoughts and energy couldn't produce what wasn't there.

"I know it hurts." Nicole sat on the bed with her, stroking her friend's hair away from her face.

How would you know? Toni didn't say the words, but she thought them. None of her family or friends knew how deep her pain ran. They didn't understand the drowning pool of anger she had stepped in and couldn't seem to break out of. And they certainly didn't comprehend why she would want to fall into a stupor so that she didn't have to feel anything.

"You feel betrayed. I was there in that hellish place when I had breast cancer. I know about feeling the bitter rage. Your mind and body are stronger than you think. But even when you were ready to give up, I was here for you during your heartbreak. It's time for a little good luck to come your way."

"Marrying Clayton had to be my biggest mistake. He didn't love me. I suppose that he was trying to save face with a child on the way. What did my baby do to anyone? Why did I lose my child?" Toni buried her face in the pillow. Her shoulders shook as the tears flowed. The bed shifted under her, and she felt Nicole's hand touch her back.

"Nature. God's plans. We don't always have all the answers. But you still have to take care of yourself. You have to decide if you're going to remain stuck or move ahead."

"You're not giving me any credit for landing a new job."

"I'm very proud of you. But I know you will struggle and you don't have to undergo that turmoil."

"I'm still in the anger phase. I still have depression to look forward to before I get to acceptance." Toni laughed, but there was no humor in the sound. Her doctor had suggested therapy, a support group, even seminars. She usually would try one or two sessions then retreat. She was never one to pour her emotions out like running water, while people waded through them, leaving their impressions on her inner thoughts and experiences.

Nicole took Toni's hand and held it between her own. "I know my request sounds bizarre, especially at this time in your life. But I think that you do need a change of scenery. No parents to hover over you. No friends to pester you about what you should or shouldn't do. No daily reminders of what you've lost to sap your energy." Nicole held eye contact with her. Toni felt her friend's calming reassurance that she was there for her. "I'm asking you to take this trip for selfish reasons too. I want you to do this for me and Brad."

"Brad?"

"I think I found his brother. All I need you to do is to confirm it while you have a glorious vacation."

Toni had to admit that Nicole always managed to deliver her news with a one-two punch. "What part of my background says private investigator? And I thought that I was the one on the verge of a breakdown." She pointed at Nicole. "Mine is emotional. Yours is mental." Despite her words, her curiosity had been ignited.

"Two years ago when Brad learned he had another brother, I was thrilled. He had spent some time trying to find the missing pieces in his life. This was a major breakthrough." Nicole readjusted herself on the bed to tell her story. "Once he knew he had a brother, he gathered as much information as he could, which wasn't much. But he also learned that his father raised his brother and never looked back, he never came back for him. Brad's feelings of abandonment have turned into anger and, if you ask him, hatred. He's stopped looking for his brother. He doesn't even want to hear any mention of him or his father."

"Where is the brother?"

"Bahamas."

"Bahamas? How does he get from Baltimore to the Bahamas? Both places start with the letter B, but that's about it."

"That's what I keep wondering. This is what you need to find out."

"Me?"

"This is a busy time of the year. I can't leave here."

"Yeah, right." Bahamas appealed to her a great deal, but this wasn't a quick jaunt to the next city. For heaven's sake, this was going out of the country; albeit a beautiful, tropical paradise.

"Why not write to him? Tell him that you're trying to reunite him with family," Toni asked. "By the way, isn't your sister living there?"

"I don't think this is the type of news you deliver in a letter. What if he's got issues too? I can barely deal with Brad's stubbornness over the whole thing. Hopefully his brother hasn't been warped by the experience. But once you find him, I'll hop on a plane, meet him, stay overnight, party, drink, drink, party, and then fly home. Plus, Vicky lives in Eleuthera and I don't want to get her involved. She's only met Brad once and doesn't know everything that's going on."

Toni nodded, knowing that the sisters shared a comfortable relationship, although not a close one.

"I suppose you're going to tuck Brad in bed, kiss him on the cheek and tell him that you're going to the Bahamas for a day and he won't care."

"I've checked his schedule. He's got to get his travel story into his editor in the next couple of weeks. He's not going to be thinking about me or anything else.As long as I keep the guests away from him, he'll be fine," Nicole explained. "I'll tell him that I'm with you at one of our slumber parties. Three nights or more and I'd have to come up with a more elaborate excuse.And I don't want to lie more than necessary to arrange a reunion."

"I realize that it's important for Brad to know his brother, but aren't you forcing this on him? What if he doesn't want to meet him, even after you've set it up? You're being overly optimistic about this entire situation. His brother could be a deadbeat and you'd be bringing him into your lives to create chaos."