Excerpt of A Secondhand Murder by Lesley A. Diehl

I looked up into a chiseled face—a jaw like Dudley Do Right and a head of sweeping hair like Donald Trump. He was dressed in white trousers and a blue blazer, an apricot ascot tied at his neck. I could hardly believe my eyes. He was a snapshot taken at the races, and I don’t mean the Indy 500.

I twisted myself around to face him and offered my hand. “You must be Randolph Burnside. I’m Eve Appel, one of your wife’s, er … friends.”

He grabbed my hand and pulled me up. On my stomach, I hadn’t been able to gauge his height. Once standing, however, I saw that I towered over him. The man had never seen five feet. I could have stomped on him like a pesky cockroach, but this was his property, and I was a trespasser, so I had to make nice. He seemed unworried about the differences in our heights and unmoved by the presence of a giant woman crawling through his lawn. If anything, he appeared amused and curious.

“Cory usually has better manners than this. I’m surprised she left a friend to crawl around in the hibiscus and creeping myrtle. Please, come on in for a drink.”

He started up the path toward the pool and beckoned me to follow. When I didn’t, he turned and smiled. “I wouldn’t want to believe that you’re actually a burglar or a stalker.”

Okay, so he wasn’t quite as oblivious to my creeping around as I had first assumed. What the hell. I had little choice. I worked on my excuse as we entered the pool area.

To my relief, Cory and Alex were gone. Perhaps they’d moved inside to continue their talk elsewhere, but the poolside room was also empty. Their meeting had to be business. Although I wasn’t certain that I liked Alex as much as I originally wanted to, I also didn’t want to believe that he and Cory were having a more intimate liaison. He didn’t seem like the type who was into processed women.

Randolph gestured toward the lounge I’d sat in before. I slid back into it.

“Your pleasure?” He gestured at the bar cart.

“Hmm?” I had been thinking of my PI, not listening.

“What would you like to drink?”

“Johnnie Green, double, rocks.”

He stopped abruptly, spun on his heel and walked back toward me.

Oops, I’d goofed. Green wasn’t something many people stocked in their bars. So how could I have been so certain that he had it?

“Now I know you. You were my son’s date at our luau last spring.”

At this moment, Cory appeared at the library door, the expression on her face hard, unpleasant. “I don’t think so, dear. You’re confusing Eve with Serena. They’re both tall and willowy.”

Gosh. I’d never been called “willowy” before. “Thin,” “angular,” maybe, but the tree reference hadn’t been used to describe me. If I had to use a plant descriptor, saguaro cactus sprang to mind.

“I found your friend in the garden.” Randolph took her hand and placed a kiss on one of her smooth cheeks. I was surprised his lips didn’t slide off the Botoxed surface.

“Well, you see, I’m from the Northeast originally, and I was admiring your landscaping. I’m not familiar with all these plants.” I swept my hand outward to indicate the area.

“She was on her hands and knees.” Randolph’s eyes danced, perhaps an indication that he found that position preferable to my standing over him.

“I fell. I think I tripped over the roots of that big tree. What is that, anyway?”

“A banyan,” said Cory.

“From the Northeast, you say? We used to have a place there. Where do you live now?”

“West of here.” I made it sound like it was blocks, maybe a few miles, not several counties away.

“She has a small place near Sabal Bay.” Cory might just as well have said “the city dump.”

“Never been that far west,” Randolph said. “Just to the polo matches in Port Mayaca. Ever been there? It’s about as far west as I like to go. Saw some gators on the lake there that must have reached over fifteen feet.” He filled a heavy crystal glass with liquor, dropped in an ice cube and handed me the tumbler. The doorbell sounded. Randolph gave Cory a confused look. “Is Marcia here?”

“No. I gave her the night off. I’ll get it.” Cory hustled from the pool area toward the front of the house.

Randolph continued standing at the end of the lounge, rocking back and forth on his heels and toes, looking me up and down.

“How tall are you, anyway?”

“How tall are you?” I shot back.

He tossed his head back, the wave of abundant hair barely moving, and guffawed. “That’s a good one.” Was it sprayed in place to cover a bald spot? He removed the handkerchief from his breast pocket and wiped his eyes. “A good one.”

I could hear voices issuing from inside the house. Familiar voices. One was Madeleine’s. The others belonged to Alex, Frida, and Timble.

“Oh, boy. Now that everyone’s here, we can have a party.” I raised my glass in a salute to the newcomers and looked over the rim of it at Cory. “I told you the cops would be coming around soon.”

Frida gave me a look of disgust. “I found this one,” she pointed to Madeleine, “at the corner, and this one,” Alex smiled, “was leaving by a door at the back of the house. You’re wrong, Eve. This is no party. I have a few questions I need answered.”