On a surprisingly mild day late in February, Jane sat out
on her kitchen porch waiting for her next-door neighbor
and best friend Shelley Nowack to come home. When
Shelley's minivan turned into the Nowacks' driveway at
about fifty miles per hour and screamed to a violent halt,
Jane strolled over.
"Look what I got in today's mail," Jane said, shoving a
brochure though the window of the minivan.
"Help me unload the groceries first. I have a car that's
full of stuff that needs to go in the freezer," Shelley
said, handing the brochure back without looking at it.
When the food was stashed away, they sat down at Shelley's
kitchen table with the brochure. "A mystery conference
right here in town. Cool. Are you going?"
"I want to," Jane said. "The book I'm writing isn't
exactly a mystery, but I think all good novels are
mysteries. At least, they need the elements of secrets
that need to be unraveled, even if there isn't a crime.
Will she give the guy a second chance to straighten up his
act or won't she? Is there a chance he'll be named in his
rich grandfather's will? Will the child recover?"
"I never thought about it that way. You're right," Shelley
agreed. "And the conference is at that fabulous hotel near
that new mall we've never been to."
"I wasn't planning to stay at the hotel," Jane
said. "What's the point when it's so close to home?"
"There are two points, Jane. For one thing, you learn more
from people if you're staying at the hotel at conferences.
Other attendees usually have drinks at the bar at night,
and that's when they reveal a lot more inside poop to
friends and eavesdroppers.
"The other point," Shelley went on, "is that Paul has
invested in this hotel and, as such, always has a suite on
hold for his use. We could stay in it for free."
Jane had often wondered just how rich the Nowacks were,
but hadn't asked and never would ask Shelley. Paul's
investment must have been a substantial one, however, to
rate a full-time suite. But the Nowacks lived almost as
modestly as Jane did. Their house was the same size as
Jane's. Their children went to the same public schools as
Jane's did. Their wallpaper and carpets were only slightly
more expensive than Jane's, in spite of the Nowacks'
obviously being far more affluent. Shelley's husband owned
an enormous chain of Greek fast-food restaurants.
"We? Would you really be interested in going with me?"
"Of course I would. I like knowing the inside poop about
nearly any business. I don't think I'd go to an
accountants' conference, but this one would be
interesting." Looking over the brochure, she added, "I see
by the schedule that there are usually two or even three
tracks of speeches. You could go to one and I'd go to
another and take notes for you. And late April is such a
good time for a perk."
"I'll sign us both up," Jane said. "This will be really
fun, I hope. Some of my favorite mystery writers are on
the list of attendees. I'd love to meet them or least see
and hear them in person."
"Let me jot the date down and tell Paul we need the suite
that weekend if it's not already booked."
Three days later, Detective Mel VanDyne, Jane's long-time
lover, dropped in after dinner and said, "I have a day off
tomorrow. I've got more laundry than most armies
accumulate in a week, the floors are dirty, and I'm buried
in paperwork, most of which needs to be thrown away. Any
way you could help me out?"
"Sure. Have you had dinner? There's leftover pot roast,
gravy, and peas."
"Yes, please," he said pathetically. "All I had in the
fridge was disgusting cottage cheese."
When he'd finished the leftovers, Jane said, "I have
something interesting to tell you ... "
"Could it wait until tomorrow? I have to go home and get a
start so you won't know how sloppy my apartment really is."
"It'll hold," Jane said.
When she arrived the next morning, the cottage cheese was
gone. Most of the paperwork was gone and Mel had started
the first load of laundry.
Jane took charge. "Get me the vacuum and the attachments."
"Attachments?"
"All those little gadgets that came with it. You start
cleaning from the top down. There are cobwebs on the
ceiling. There's a tube that sucks them up, and the same
tube gets the dust off the blinds. Then you do the carpet.
I'll start in the front bedroom. You finish throwing trash
away and put your first load of washing in the dryer."
It took three hours before almost everything was clean.
When Mel started making the bed, Jane realized he didn't
even know the right way to tuck the top sheet in tightly
at the bottom. "Mel, stop. Don't you know how to do a
nurse's corner? Watch this and do the other corner like I
do this one."
He was surprised. "My mother failed to teach me that. In
fact, I don't know if she knew this. She always had a maid
to do things like this."
Jane sat down on the bed when they were finished. "Don't
you want to hear my good news?"
"I'd rather we made good use of this bed first."
Jane smiled, slipping off her shoes while saying "Me, too."
Later, while Mel went for carryout Chinese for their
lunch, Jane took a look in the fridge and decided he'd
have to deal with it himself. But she'd tell him all about
the writers' conference over the egg drop soup ...