"You look terrible."
Connor Hayes grimaced and ran a hand through his tousled
hair. "Thanks a lot, Mia. I can always count on you to boost
my ego."
Maybe she had been a little blunt, but Mia Doyle wasn't
about to take back her words. As attractive as her friend
was, he looked pretty ragged at the moment. His sandy hair
was in dire need of a trim, his navy blue eyes were
red-rimmed and bleary, and he had the grayish pallor of
someone who hadn't seen the sun in several days. He was only
thirty, but she suspected anyone meeting him for the first
time today would probably guess him to be a few years older.
"When's the last time you had a full night's sleep?"
"Define 'full.'"
"More than four hours."
"Hmm
it's been a while," he admitted.
She sighed and shook her head. "Really, Connor, you can't go
on like this. You have to get some rest."
"I will," he assured her. "After this test tomorrow. It's
going to be a killer."
"They're all killers," she reminded him, setting a plate of
food in front of him. She had to push a pile of books,
notebooks and papers out of the way to find a spot on his
kitchen table for the plate. "Don't you think you'll perform
better on the test if you're rested and fresh?"
He sighed heavily and gripped the fork she thrust into his
hand. "Probably."
"But you'll still sit up most of the night studying," she
concluded in resignation.
The smile he gave her was sheepish. "Yeah. Probably."
Shaking her head, she cleared off a few inches of table for
her own plate. She had brought a chicken and broccoli
casserole, filling and healthy. Knowing the grueling
schedule her friend and former coworker was enduring during
his first year of medical school, she had gotten into the
habit of bringing meals to him a couple of times a week.
Sometimes she quizzed him for upcoming exams, using study
guides and practice tests from his stacks of materials. He
seemed to enjoy her company during his near-total exile from
his former social life.
She worried about him not taking good care of himself
because of his obsession with doing well in medical school.
And she missed seeing him every day at work, sharing lunches
and class prep times together, bonding over stories of their
most difficult students. This school year just hadn't been
the same without Connor there to greet her every morning
with a smile and a bad joke.
They had been friends for more than three years, having both
been teachers at a nearby Little Rock, Arkansas, high
school. Mia taught advanced placement literature classes;
Connor had taught health and physical education and had been
an assistant coach for the football team. Early in their
friendship, he had confessed that he wanted to attend
medical school. He'd worried that he'd waited too long to
even try, but she'd encouragedwell, nagged him into
taking the MCAT and applying to medical school. No one had
been happier for him when he'd been accepted, even though
she knew it would change their relationship significantly.
"This is really good, Mia. Thanks."
She smiled wryly as he shoveled casserole into his mouth. He
was eating as if he'd forgotten all about food until now.
She suspected that he'd done just that. She didn't bother to
ask when he'd last had a complete meal. Judging by the
evidence she'd seen scattered around the kitchen and in the
overflowing wastebasket beneath the sink, he'd been living
on TV dinners and energy bars since she'd last brought him a
meal, three days earlier.
"More iced tea?" she asked.
"I'll get it."
But she was already on her feet. She refilled his glass and
then her own before putting the pitcher back in the fridge.
"Thanks," he murmured, lifting the glass to his lips.
"You're welcome. Is there anything I can do to help you
study after you've eaten? I'd be happy to quiz you."
He looked at her somberly across the table. "You're too good
to me. Especially because I've been neglecting you so badly
lately. I even forgot to call you on your birthday."
He had apologized profusely and repeatedly for that slip as
soon as he realized what he'd donetwo days after the
actual event. Although she had been painfully aware that he
hadn't called on the day itself, she'd understood. He was
overwhelmed with the sheer amount of information being
thrown at him on a daily basis, and which he was expected to
retain and be tested on at regular intervals. They had
expected that the first year of medical school would be
grueling, but they'd both been surprised by the arduous reality.
It was insane, they agreed. Certainly not the most efficient
method of training new doctors, in their studied
opinionbut it was difficult to break through the
prevailing argument that "it's always been done this way."
So all he could do was dig in and prove he had the endurance
and stubbornness to make it through the first year, which
seemed to be the main point of the curriculum.
"Stop apologizing about the birthday, okay? I completely
understand. You had that big gross anatomy exam that
afternoon and no one could blame you for being totally
preoccupied by that."
He shook his head with a rueful smile. "You're still letting
me off too easy. Med school is no excuse to blow off the
best friend I've ever had."
She returned the smile, then thought about what he'd said as
she finished her meal. Best friends. That was the way they
thought of themselves and referred to themselves to others.
A slightly unconventional friendship, of course, because he
was two years older and they weren't the same gender. Some
people seemed to find it hard to believe that a man and a
woman could be so close without being physically involved,
but she and Connor had never crossed that particular line
for several reasons. Primarily because when they'd first
met, he had been in the process of a divorce and in no mood
to get romantically involved with anyone else so soon.
By the time his divorce was final and he had recovered
somewhat from the ordeal, Mia had been seeing someone, and
she and Connor had already settled into a comfortable
platonic relationship based on mutual tastes and values and
ideals, shared senses of humor and similar big dreams for
their futures. Neither of them had wanted to risk doing
anything to endanger their treasured camaraderie. So they
had endured the gossip and the nosy questions, as well as
the annoying suspicions of the unexpectedly possessive man
she had dated and then dumped, and their friendship had
survived.
They had gotten even closer after the death of his mother
almost two years ago. He'd told her then that she'd somehow
known just what to say and do to help him handle the grief,
even though all she felt she had done was to offer to listen
whenever he needed to talk.
She saw no reason for their friendship ever to end.
Forgotten birthdays notwithstanding.
"Actually," he said, pushing his emptied plate away and
standing. "Wait right here. I've got something for you and
now seems as good a time as any to give it to you."
"You didn't have to"
But he was already gone. She wasn't really startled that
he'd gotten her a present because they'd been in the habit
of exchanging gifts for the past couple of years. She was
more surprised that he'd had time to shop. Maybe he'd
ordered something over the Internet.
She had just finished loading the dishwasher with their
dinner plates when he returned, a wrapped gift in his hand.
"Sorry it's late," he said. "It was delivered just this
afternoon."
So he had shopped with the click of a computer key. Still,
it was nice that he'd thought of her, and because she knew
very well that his money was limited right now, considering
he was attending medical school on student loans, it was a
very generous gesture. "You really didn't have to get me
anything," she repeated, even as she took the gift he
offered her.
"I wanted to," he answered simply. "Go ahead. Open it."
"It's heavy." Setting the book-size box on the table, she
pulled off the inexpensive red Christmas bow he'd stuck to
the red-and-green plaid wrapping paper that also looked
suspiciously Christmasy. Never mind that it was October;
this was probably the only wrapping paper he'd had on hand,
most likely left over from last year's holidays.
Finally finding the gift beneath all the paper and tape he'd
applied, she gasped. Lifting the two-volume set from the
box, she read the title. "The Cambridge History of Irish
Literature. Connor."
He looked at her with a hint of nerves in his expression, as
if trying to gauge whether she really was pleased with the
gift. "I wasn't sure about it, but the reviews sounded good.
Like something you might like."
"Are you kidding? This is great. Perfect for my library. But
you really shouldn't have spent this much." He had to have
spent a couple hundred dollars for this, she thought,
touched that he'd gone to the effort to find something so
personally tailored to her tastes.
He frowned, as if she'd struck a nerve with her comment
about the cost. She knew his ex had departed with everything
she could grab when she'd left him for someone else, and it
had taken him a while to recover financially. The little
house and an aging compact car were his only significant
material assets for the moment because he was investing
everything else into his future medical career.
"I wanted to get you something you'd like," he said. "As
much as you've done for me, it's the least I could do in
return."
She didn't care for the implication that the gift was
payback for her support of his efforts to get into medical
school and to do well now that he was in. He probably hadn't
really meant it that way, but it was certainly the way it
had sounded.
Why were they both so sensitive this evening? She gave an
impatient shake of her head, telling herself to snap out of
it. She should just appreciate the gift and the thoughts
behind it, whatever they had been. "Thank you."
He smiled and gave her a quick, one-armed hug. "You're welcome."
Her heart fluttered a little, but she returned the smile
easily. "Go study. I'll clean up in here."
He didn't waste time arguing with her. He hauled a stack of
books into the living room and had buried his head inside
them before she cleared away the first plate.
It was just as well, she thought with a slight smile, that
she wasn't a particularly high-maintenance type of friend.
As dear as he was to her, she wasn't blind when it came to
Connor's faults. Lately he had been more than a little
self-absorbed and decidedly obsessed with his schoolwork.
She certainly understood why he needed to be that way at
this point in his life, but she knew better than to invest
too much of herself with a self-centered, manipulative man.
Been there, done that. Still bore the emotional scars.
Connor wasn't anything like Dale had been, but only a true
masochist would get involved with a first-year med student,
she thought with a wry smile.
His eyes burned so badly that Connor could hardly focus on
the charts in front of him. He rubbed his closed eyes with
his fingertips, which didn't help.
He needed coffee. Some sort of stimulant to wake him up and
sharpen his mind. He'd never get through all these tables
tonight without it.
Standing, he walked into the kitchen, limping a little
because he'd been sitting in one position for too long. He
heard joints crack as he reached for a cup and he felt
suddenly older than his thirty years. He hoped there was
some coffee left in the insulated carafe he always kept
filled. If not, he'd have to waste valuable study time
making another pot.
Looking around for it, he noted that the kitchen was
immaculate. Gleaming, even. Every scrap of trash was gone,
all the dishes washed and put away, the stovetop and
counters wiped clean. Even the floor had been swept.
Mia, he thought with a little niggling of guilt. She'd
cleaned his kitchen. And he suspected that if he checked his
bathroom and bedroom, he'd find that she hadn't restricted
her cleaning to this room. On an impulse, he opened the
folding wood doors that concealed the washer and dryer at
the far end of the kitchen. Clean jeans, T-shirts, socks and
underwear were stacked neatly on the dryer. When he opened
the dryer, he found a load of clean towels, still warm and
fluffy. Apparently she'd had the washer and dryer running
the entire time she'd been there that evening. He hadn't
even noticed.
Had he even thanked her properly for bringing dinner? He
frowned, trying to clearly remember her departure
just
over an hour earlier, he thought, glancing at the digital
clock on the microwave. He'd been buried in his books,
staring intently at a diagram of the cardiovascular system,
trying to memorize the vessels that originate from the
external carotid artery when she'd told him she was leaving.
He remembered looking up and reciting, "The superior thyroid
artery, the lingual artery, the facial artery, the occipital
artery and the posterior auricular artery."
Without even blinking, Mia had laughed and leaned over to
brush a light kiss against his cheek. Her bright blue eyes
had been warm in her pretty, girl-next-door face when she'd
drawn away, tucking a strand of her light brown hair behind
her ear. "Thank you again for the birthday present. Good
luck on your test tomorrow. Call me and let me know how it
went, okay?"
"Yeah, okay," he had replied, his eyes already on the
diagram again as he'd squinted at the brachiocephalic
artery, which divided into the common carotid artery and the
subclavian artery. "'Night, Mia. Drive carefully."
He distinctly remembered telling her to drive carefully. Not
exactly a "thank you so much for all you've done for me
tonight and ever since I started med school, I don't know
what I would have done without you." But at least it showed
he cared about her, right?
He didn't deserve a friend like her, he thought with a
disgusted shake of his head. Maybe he could pay her back
somehow when she started grad school, which was her plan
after teaching and saving for another year or so.
Yeah, right. As a second-year med student, he would take
another full slate of courses and begin studying for Step
One of the nightmarish medical licensing exam that had to be
passed before he could continue with his training. As tough
as his first year had proven to be, there were some who
warned that the second year was even more arduous. Hard to
imagine.