April's Affections and Intrigues: Love and Mystery Bloom

Sharon Buchbinder

Features & Posts

DESIRE AND DECEPTION NOMINATED FOR RT Best Book Award 2011
December 26, 2011

Sign Up for Newsletter to Win Free E-books and Swag!
July 5, 2011

25 comments posted.

Re: Desire and Deception (3:27pm August 22, 2011):

Hi Shirley--

I think I need to print that out and post it on my wall!

Best,

Sharon

Re: Desire and Deception (11:51pm August 21, 2011):

Hi Maree--

Thanks so much for stopping by and saying hello. You must be exhausted. I'm glad my post resonated with you.

Hugs back at ya!

Sharon

Re: Desire and Deception (11:50pm August 21, 2011):

Hi Sheila--

Thanks for your kind words. Feel better.

Sharon

Re: Desire and Deception (8:32am August 21, 2011):

Sheila--

Good grief! Sorry to hear of your multiple mishaps. I wish you a speedy recovery for your ribs and your eye. Try to relax and thanks for commenting.

Sharon

Re: Desire and Deception (8:29am August 21, 2011):

Hi Lisa--

I agree, everyone is capable of change, but not all are motivated to do so. Lots of research has been done on how to overcome obstacles to changing self-defeating behaviors.

Thanks for stopping by and commenting.

Sharon

Re: Desire and Deception (7:08am August 20, 2011):

Hi Tracie--

Psychologists call that an internal locus of control, i.e., you believe you are in charge of your life. I'm operating under that premise now. ;)

Thanks for commenting and for your kind words.

Sharon

Re: Desire and Deception (7:05am August 20, 2011):

Hi Janice--

Our families and significant others make a huge difference in our lives, don't they? Thanks for stopping by and posting.

Sharon

Re: Desire and Deception (6:46am August 20, 2011):

Hi Linda--

Good parenting is critical to creating great kids and good citizens. Thanks for commenting. I hope you enjoy the read.

Sharon

Re: Desire and Deception (6:45am August 20, 2011):

Hi Lisa--

Thanks for commenting and for signing up for my newsletter. You are now automatically entered in the monthly drawings to win ebooks. The next one will be out September 7, 2011.

Sharon

Re: Desire and Deception (10:12pm August 19, 2011):

Hi John--

I know what you mean. I've seen people w/ every advantage in the world trash their lives. And others who have zip rise above it all. I'm more toward the latter, having come from poverty, abuse & Section 8 housing.

Thanks for commenting!

Sharon

Re: Desire and Deception (9:52pm August 19, 2011):

Hi Kai--

You have hit the nail on the head. Saving face is a big deal--across cultures. Shame and blame is the game. So we keep wrapping ourselves in layers.

Thanks so much for stopping in and posting!

Best,

Sharon

Re: Desire and Deception (6:09pm August 19, 2011):

Hi Joanne--

You are so right! I had a visitor from California this week who could not believe how nice everyone was to him here in Baltimore. Total strangers smiled and called him "Hon." He was shocked in a pleasant way. Your response can make someone's day better. I like the idea of passing it on, helping others even if it's just a little thing like a smile and a hello.

Thanks for posting!

Sharon

Re: Desire and Deception (5:43pm August 19, 2011):

Hi Roseann--

Thanks for stopping in and commenting. Yes, in this country we have wonderful resources to draw on. Sometimes it can take us a while to find them. But once we do, we can take advantage of those opportunities to better ourselves.W

Best,

Sharon

Re: Desire and Deception (5:41pm August 19, 2011):

Beverly--

Thank you for sharing your experiences and good for you for having such a great insight. I'm betting your daughters think you are the strongest person in the world. It takes great courage to get out of a bad relationship and to do it for your kids, as well as yourself.

Hugs,

Sharon

Re: Desire and Deception (5:38pm August 19, 2011):

Hi Connie--

I know what you mean--I'm the one that says what everyone is thinking--but won't say. I've had footin mouth disease a LOT. My internal censor is a little lax at times. If you ever saw UNCLE BUCK, there's a great line where he tells his niece that if she'd get that stick out of her kiester, they'd get along just fine. I howl at the line every time I see the film. Yes, life is too short to stay wrapped up in a straight jacket!

Thanks for dropping in and posting!

Sharon

Re: Desire and Deception (5:34pm August 19, 2011):

Hi Lynn--

Let's get that cocktail party started! It's 5 o'clock somewhere!;)

Yes, for the most part we have choices. In our country, we attend public or private schools and our childhoods are influenced by that. Without my grandmother, teachers, and siblings who protected me, I think I would have been much more damaged by my mother's abuse. I learned I had choices and that they weren't always easy, but I could make them.

Thanks for posting!

Sharon

Re: Desire and Deception (5:30pm August 19, 2011):

HI Colleen--

Some of us are stronger than others. My mother used to try to break my will with abuse and by telling me I was just like my grandmother--"stubborn." My deaf and non-speaking grandmother was my caretaker from ages 3 through 5. I thank God everyday for her unconditional love. And I take pride in that stubborn streak. She couldn't beat it out of me. ;)

Thanks for stopping by and I hope you enjoy the read!

Best,

Sharon

Re: Desire and Deception (5:27pm August 19, 2011):

Carla--

I am so sorry you were abused. My childhood was filled with beatings and emotional and psychological and other abuses and they are so hard to overcome. Once I realized how much pain I was in, I was lucky to find good therapists and a wonderful group to work with at my university. I hope your true wonderful self is out and shining now, because you have set yourself free.

Hugs,

Sharon

Re: Desire and Deception (4:43pm August 19, 2011):

Hi Jody--

I agree, we are dual by nature, which is why we all enjoy the good vs evil stories. It's engrained into our bones from ancient times. Which side will win in this story? I'm not gonna tell--I'm going to let the readers decide. And, yes, I've had friends who gave me GO UP goals and those who gave me GO DOWN goals. It took me a while to figure out that I needed to be extra careful with the second group!

I hope you enjoy the read and I'm looking forward to your responses to it.

Best,

Sharon

Re: Desire and Deception (4:39pm August 19, 2011):

Hi Dawn--

Thank you for your kind words! If you think about how many people don't have a CLUE about how to raise children, it is a miracle that most of us turn out to be "normal." Okay, well, I'm not all that normal because I'm a writer and we do what the voices tell us to do...but kids don't come with an owner's manual. Isn't that like a major design flaw??? And isn't it amazing how people can turn their lives around? You go girl!

I hope you enjoy the read!

Sharon

Re: Desire and Deception (4:28pm August 19, 2011):

Hi May--

Thanks for reading and posting. In the US culture, we are lucky in that laws protect us from gender bias--not that it doesn't happen but we have civil rights that other cultures don't. In Latin America and Mexico(Izzy's family of origin) machismo is a large part of the culture. In general, that means women won't be afforded the same opportunities as men--unless they come from wealthy families, as Izzy does. In some countries, women are still struggling to be treated as equals under the law and courts. We are very fortunate to be able to make choices.

I hope you enjoy the read,

Sharon

Re: Desire and Deception (4:14pm August 19, 2011):

Hi Barbara--

Remember the ADDAMS FAMILY? They were the weirdest family--but they loved each other in their own ways. With a good mentor--an aunt, a teacher, a preacher--kids can be so resilient and survive even the worst environment.

Thanks so much for reading and commenting.

I hope you enjoy the read,

Sharon

Re: Desire and Deception (4:12pm August 19, 2011):

Hi Constance--Thanks so much for reading and commenting. Yes, we are responsible for our own actions, absolutely. But our belief system can REALLY get in our way. And when you have a parent who labels you from childhood as "FAT" and "UGLY" (like my mother did to me) no matter what the mirror told me, that's what I saw. It took seeing myself through my husband's eyes to believe that I didn't deserve those labels (Okay, I will fess up to needing to lose that last 15 pounds..LOL!)

I hope you enjoy the read!

Sharon

Re: Desire and Deception (4:07pm August 19, 2011):

Hello everyone! Wow! What a great discussion. I had to do that 4 letter word today (W-O-R-K) and what a nice surprise to come back and find all your wonderful comments. I LOVE this! I'm going to post a comment for each one of you. ;)

@Vicki--Thanks for coming by my darlin' you are the jelly to my peanut butter (yes, I'm heavy on the nuts!)Does nice mean being everyone's doormat? Or saying "yes" when you mean "no?" Cuz, I used to be "nice" that way. But it took me a loooong time to find out that kind of nice only suffocated the real me. And, sign me up for that cocktail party!

Hugs,
Sharon

Re: Desire and Deception (8:51am August 18, 2011):

Hi Patti--

Thank you for reading and commenting. You're not babbling. I was sitting here nodding my head as I read your post. I agree. Until we are shown how things are done differently elsewhere, how could we know better? I think of Oliver Twist and Fagin with all those children. He fed them and was kinder than most adults to them. Why wouldn't they do his bidding and pick pockets?