Have You Ever Milked A Snake?

No, that’s not a euphemism. It’s an actual job and my heroine, Clover Lee, in THE NEGOTIATOR has held the position along with a ton of other weird temp jobs.

“She'd done time as a snake milker—don't ask; smiled for pictures as a paid bridesmaid—bridezillas, she'd known a few; bellied up to the table as a dog food taster—think stale crackers with a funky aftertaste; learned the true benefit of good arch support as a professional line stander—always in the rain or the cold or the blazing heat; and distilled the mysteries of the universe as a fortune cookie writer. Clover had done it all to pay the bills, have some excellent adventures, and stay as far away from the small town of Sparksville as possible.”

So, of course, when she sees this job ad, there’s no way she’s not answering it—out of pure curiosity if nothing else. I mean, come on. What in the world kind of job is persona buffer?

WANTED: PERSONAL BUFFER

Often snarly, workaholic, demanding executive seeks short-term “buffer” from annoying outside distractions AKA people. Free spirits with personal boundary issues, excessive quirks, or general squeamishness need not apply. Salary negotiable. Confidentiality required.

The idea for THE NEGOTIATOR to start off with a weird job ad was one that really got the whole plot ball rolling for this book. It was just so odd that it made me giggle—and when that happens I’ know I’m up to something good. The next step then was to find out some weird jobs that people actually had. Think of that Dirty Jobs show, but these were all just bizarre not necessarily gross. Here are some of them presented in no particular order: