Tonya Kappes | Reinvention of Retirement
August 27, 2015
Have you ever tried to take three gallons of crazy and fit it into a two galloon
bucket? That is exactly what I, Zula Fae Raines Payne, have to do in my
retirement years.
Emma Lee Raines, my granddaughter, is my two gallon bucket. Out of the two of my
granddaughters, I figured it was Emma Lee who was fit to take over my place as
the undertaker of Eternal Slumber Funeral Home in Sleepy Hollow, Kentucky,
Now don’t let me scare you away from comin’ on down and making your preneed
funeral arrangements, I’ll see to it that you get exactly what is comin’ to ya
and see you get to the Great Beyond, other side, big guy in the sky; whatever you
wanna call it.
Well, grab one of them sweet teas off the table and sit back and use your foot to
tip the rocker back and forth. This here is prime real estate and prime front
porch sittin’ for all the happenings in town square over yonder. You keep an eye
out and you just might see Beulah Paige, the CEO of the gossip mill here in
Sleepy Hollow. She can pack a tale better than
Anyways,
When she woke up, she was hootin’ and a hollerin’ about seeing dead people. I was
fit to be tied! You know I had Doc Clyde give her something to cover her crazy.
Normally we parade crazy as if it were an accessory, but crazy isn’t good for
business when your clients are trusting you to take care of their loved ones,
even the ones that aren’t sucking oxygen.
Regardless, Emma’s sister Charlotte, is helping Emma run Eternal Slumber and I’ve
got my fingers crossed that Charlotte will turn business around because I have
decided to run for Sleepy Hollow Mayor! You ain’t gonna believe who is running
against me. O’Dell Burns, as in Burns Funeral home, as in Eternal Slumber’s
direct competition. This town has gone nuts and I’m here to save it!
Me and the Auxiliary woman have gotten some Vote For Zula signs and screaming my
campaign slogan: You let me take care of your loved ones for the afterlife, let
me take care of you while living! And me and the girls were planning to pass out
buttons and signs at the traveling carnival that’s come to town, but plans
changed once one of the carnie workers made fun of me. I gave him a piece of my
mind and I swear I went home and went to bed. Unfortunately that same carnie
worker was found dead, floating in the dunking booth with a Vote For Zula sign
stuck right through his heart.
Now I’m the one who looks nuts and this better not mess up my campaign!
GIVEAWAY
What are your plans for retirement? Leave a comment below and be entered for a
chance to win a digital copy of A GHOSTLY DEMISE.
For years, USA Today bestselling author Tonya Kappes has been self-
publishing her numerous mystery and romance titles with unprecedented success.
She is famous not only for her hilarious plotlines and quirky characters, but her
tremendous marketing efforts that have earned her thousands of followers and a
devoted street team of fans. HarperCollins and Witness Impulse is thrilled to be
publishing this insanely talented and wildly successful author for the first time
with her hilarious and spooky Ghostly Southern series.
Be sure to sign up for Tonya’s newsletter and receive a free ebook download!
If you have read A GHOSTLY UNDERTAKING, the first novel in the Ghostly Southern
Mystery Series, and enjoyed it, please vote for Tonya for 2015 Best Fiction
Novel! She’d greatly appreciate it. Website | Twitter | Facebook | Goodreads
The prodigal father returns—but this ghost is no holy spirit
When she runs into her friend's deadbeat dad at the local deli, undertaker Emma
Lee Raines can't wait to tell Mary Anna Hardy that he's back in Sleepy Hollow,
Kentucky, after five long years. Cephus Hardy may have been the town drunk, but
he didn't disappear on an epic bender like everyone thought: He was murdered. And
he's heard that Emma Lee's been helping lost souls move on to that great big
party in the sky.
Why do ghosts always bother Emma Lee at the worst times? Her granny's mayoral
campaign is in high gear, a carnival is taking over the town square, and her
hunky boyfriend, Sheriff Jack Henry Ross, is stuck wrestling runaway goats.
Besides, Cephus has no clue whodunit…unless it was one of Mrs. Hardy's not-so-
secret admirers. All roads lead Emma Lee to that carnival—and a killer who isn't
clowning around.
Comments
26 comments posted.
Re: Tonya Kappes | Reinvention of Retirement
I'm looking forward to traveling during my retirement. But that's a long time away! (Kristine Murphy 9:29am August 27, 2015)
Travel (Marissa Yip-Young 10:03am August 27, 2015)
I hope to be able to retire. Even if I can, I want to be as active as I can. (Edward Washington 12:05pm August 27, 2015)
I am really excited about this book. I never used to read these but absolutely love them since I have more time on my hands and can read more. Can't wait to get it (Donna Boyer 2:43pm August 27, 2015)
I am semi-retired now and I know what I will be doing. I have always worked very long hours 7d/wk and I am going to be lazy, reading the day and evening away. (Donna Boyer 2:45pm August 27, 2015)
It's still a long while away, but I plan on doing a lot of traveling and relaxing. (Christina Bowling 3:03pm August 27, 2015)
Retirement is still many years away, but I would like to help out at an animal shelter after I am retired and have the time to do so. (Kelly Pfister 5:29pm August 27, 2015)
Travel lots and lots of travel. I have a two page list of places I want to go. (Diana Thomas 10:44pm August 27, 2015)
Travel and immerse myself in other cultures (Lani Miller 7:19am August 28, 2015)
they wont have any money left when i retirement. i would love to go to Germany. (Jennifer Beck 12:20pm August 28, 2015)
Retirement is about 40+ years away for me, so not sure yet. Travel the world, maybe? (Lisa L. 7:26pm August 28, 2015)
retire in the sun and relax (Debbi Shaw 10:11pm August 28, 2015)
I'm actually kind of in my retirement (of a sort) even though I'm only 41. I became disabled and lost my career about 6 years ago. I live out here in the middle of nowhere but it is quiet and beautiful. I do miss the city life once in a while (not as much since I got a kindle though lol). (Ida Stone 3:03am August 30, 2015)
Not sure yet. That is a long way off. But I plan on volunteering and spending time traveling. (Pam Howell 8:09am August 30, 2015)
I am retired and enjoy not having deadlines. (Anna Speed 12:41pm August 30, 2015)
According to my husband, we will be living in a condo somewhere. Personally, I would like to have a mobile home so we can travel and stay wherever we want. (Cindy Barton 12:50pm August 30, 2015)
I'll be darned! Thought I'd posted a comment earlier but don't see it. Guess that's what retirement-all of three weeks-does to you! I plan on volunteering at several organizations, all involving reading in one way or another: either tutoring, actively reading to people or introducing them to the joys of reading. (Kathleen Bylsma 1:04pm August 30, 2015)
I should be thinking about retirement but I haven't yet! (Denise Austin 2:22pm August 30, 2015)
Retirement - travel, drive future grand children and current children crazy, maybe finally write down all the crazy stories running around in my head! (Janis Milford 8:24pm August 30, 2015)
Retirement for me will be volunteer work and traveling. Actually I'm already there, but I'm waiting on my hubby to join me so that we can take longer and better trips. (Flora Presley 9:11pm August 30, 2015)
I am looking forward to reading, quilting, and traveling during my retirement. (Bonnie H 9:42pm August 30, 2015)
I really should think and plan for retirement, but the only thing I do know is that when it gets here, I want to travel - not just the day trippy USA stuff, but the week or so long International trips. Hopefully there will be a man to enjoy it with. :-) (Bonnie Davis 12:34pm August 31, 2015)
have retired three times and am back to work. I do travel some on down times, but I really enjoy working as a security officer. (Pat Freely 1:42pm August 31, 2015)
A stroke forced me into early retirement so I really have no concrete plans for my "retirement" (Janice Santillo 2:43pm August 31, 2015)
I want to become a professional reader in my retirement! Now I read every spare moment and wish I didn't have to stop to head to the library to work. I promise to write reviews on all those books too. I hope I'll get a chance to cover ALL of yours. (K'tee Bee 4:51pm August 31, 2015)
I'm joining the masses in saying retirement = travel. (Wl Hutch 6:07pm August 31, 2015)
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