Artemus Withers | What’s In A Name

I had a friend ask me the other day if I thought my main character in THE ADVENTURES OF REZTAP, Tar Reztap, was a scoundrel. I told him I supposed he was, but the more I thought about it and looked up the definition of scoundrel, I realized he was definitely not a scoundrel. You may recall the movie Dirty Rotten Scoundrels, starring Steve Martin, Michael Caine and Glenne Headly. In the movie, the main characters are actually disreputable individuals trying to scam other people out of their money – the main premise of the movie is them trying to scam money out of each other. It’s a great movie, but it’s essentially about thieves robbing rich people. Fools and their money are soon parted is the general gist of their motives.

In The Empire Strikes Back, Princess Leia calls Han Solo a scoundrel. He likes the sound of it, but probably from a more romantic notion of being an above the law type of rebel. He was, in all actuality (I know, here comes the complaints) an outlaw smuggler. So he ran on the dark side of the law many times. Sure he becomes a hero in the end, but when Princess Leia calls him a scoundrel, he more or less actually is one.

Tar doesn’t actually ever try to do anything dishonest. He does get caught up in some things where he accidentally does some very bad things, but it’s never his intention to harm or rob anyone with the possible exception of a space battle which has huge implications for him later on. He is, in essence, more of a rascal. He is mischievous, an imp, and a bit of a troublemaker. You might even call him a scalawag, as he does behave badly in an amusingly mischievous but not harmful way. That really gets to the heart of Tar Reztap at the beginning of the book. He’s trying to get by but is definitely a bit of a scalawag.

Is there a favorite scalawag or rascal in the books you read? Does he stay that way through the end of the story or mature and become something a bit less mischievous?

Read an excerpt from THE ADVENTURES OF REZTAP

“I’ve never really felt comfortable owning an android with bogus programming. Dang it, I have to do something-”

Tar stopped outside the room and heard what sounded like moaning inside. Tar frowned.

“Well, this is a toss-up; either they’re having sex or Chuck is strangling her...or both.” Tar opened the door.

On the wall directly in front of Tar, Princess hung from the wall by her arms and legs. She wore a pink, fuzzy negligee accented by a yellow polka-dotted pink bandana stuffed in her mouth. The negligee left very little to the imagination.

“I must admit,” Tar said raising his eyebrows. “I’ve never seen you looking better.”

Princess scowled at Tar. Then, she opened her eyes wide and said, “Oog ow efeye oo.” Tar looked at her, puzzled. Chuck flicked him on the back of the head with a finger and rendered Tar unconscious. (Later, Tar revealed, it was at that moment that he realized what Princess had tried but failed to say with a gag in her mouth. “Look out behind you.”) Standard android programming forbids rendering humans helpless, but of course, Chuck’s programming didn’t exactly follow the normal guidelines.

Princess’ head drooped as she watched Tar fall.

The unstable android looked up at Princess and smiled.

Princess already knew his strength, otherwise she wouldn’t be trussed up on the wall. She shuddered and, when Chuck turned around and left the room, she was visibly relieved.

About THE ADVENTURES OF REZTAP

Even simple plans never quite work out for intergalactic trader Tar Reztap, and yet he and his loyal friend Gorth keep finding their way into crazy missions that border the impossible. Chased throughout known space aboard the Bloated Namreg (quite possibly the ugliest ship to ever dock in a space port), it’s not long before Reztap’s nemesis catches up. And it’s not the Captain of the Progorian warship (really it was an honest mix-up that started that war); nor the Madame of the Courtesan Academy, who happens to be half-sister to the head of the assassin’s guild. No, real trouble requires blood ties. Reztap’s brother sends the traders spinning back into space on a mission to rescue a princess from a fortress on Alaga One’s moon.

Desperate times call for desperate measures, and Reztap and Gorth are forced to pull out their back-up navigator – an eccentric android named Chuck, who has a thing for decorating (and “Rezzy”).Aboard the Namreg, a door that couldn’t be opened for thirteen years mysteriously grants entrance to a hidden chamber. Inside is a treasure, a long-lost family member, and a mission no one has to force Reztap to do. This time, he can’t fail. Regretfully, the “rescued” Princess Slurk is still on board, with plans of her own.

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About Artemus Withers

Inspired by authors such as Douglas Adams, Harry Harrison and Terry Pratchett, Artemus endeavored to create a world of science fiction and humor to delight readers across the world. A lifelong computer systems professional, Artemus went from the military to government contracting to the commercial world fixing various computer problems and helping workers and companies get to where they need to go. Artemus also dabbled in acting as an improv troupe member for several years and performed in various stage, television and film productions. He lives in Katy, Texas with his wife where they rule their family kingdom of three adult daughters from afar and enjoy the company of their grandson and two dogs.

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