Boone Brux | The Year of Yes
January 12, 2013
I'm not proud to admit that my mantra for 2012 seemed to be "I'm such a bitch."
I can blame my stress on everything from my hectic writing schedule to my ever
expanding buttocks and active children. But let's face it, I have nothing to
complain about—well, except for that buttocks part. Whether it's keeping the house clean or running the Iditarod, it's my belief
that every woman struggles with balance in her life. Sometimes, for me anyway,
getting groceries is as arduous as running the Boston marathon, but I know it
has to be done. Last year I found myself saying no to a lot of events
simply because I was tired mentally and physically. But all that is going to
change. 2013 is my Year of Yes. Like I said, I have nothing to complain about. I have four books releasing this
year and I've recently landed two four-book series contracts. Yay me! Woe to my
expanding waistline and family time. That means a lot of hours in front of the
computer, but if I don't get this balancing act down soon my family is going to
go on strike. Oh, and let me add that they are amazingly supportive with
everything from laundry to brainstorming my stories. So what's the plan, Boone? My first act as the Queen of Balance is to say yes to physical activity
even when I'm tired. I always have fun when I do. Since I live where I work,
getting out of the house gives me a mental break, not to mention exercise, plus
my dog dearly loves his daily walk. It's giving myself permission to step away
from the computer that has guilted me into saying no in the past and thus, to
pack on a few fluffy pounds. But no longer! I'm embracing baby steps. Cleaning my house is a never-ending project. The mess
will always be there because I have kids. I've realized I don't need to clean
everything at once. I'm an all or nothing kind of gal. Cleaning a little each
day will eventually get things to a tolerable level. Even I can spend
fifteen minutes a day hitting the hot spots where all the crap piles up. Unfortunately, up until now, my cleanliness expectations have run on the lower
end of the spectrum. As long as I wasn't stepping on toys or scooping stuff off
my chair, I could ignore the rest of the mess. But it's not all about me, hard
to believe, and there are other people who live in the house. Wait a minute,
other people mean more hands to pitch in. For some reason I've always thought it
was my job to do all the domestic chores. Who am I, June Cleaver? I WILL ask for
help. I don't have to do everything on my own.
Delegate—delegate—delegate! After hundreds of dollars in organizational products—binders, colored
markers, Post-it notes, plastic bins, and Totes—OMG, Totes and more
Totes—working smarter not harder is the message I've finally learned. Already I've noticed that my stress and waistline are decreasing. Of course I
still have my struggles. I don't think I'll ever completely achieve balance
because I'm too random in my thoughts and actions. In other words, easily
diverted by something that seems more like fun at the time, and that's okay. But
for my mental and physical health, not to mention my relationships, I
will make a change. 2013 is my Year of Yes. How about you? What are your
struggles with balance? Share your wonderful ideas with me by commenting and be entered to win either
a print or e-book of KISS OF
THE BETRAYER. US and Canadian commenters can win either a print copy and
swag or an e-book and swag. International readers will win an e-book version of
KISS OF THE BETRAYER.
Thanks for stopping by.
Comments
45 comments posted.
Re: Boone Brux | The Year of Yes
struggle with getting enough sleep! and work/fun. thanks, deb (Debbi Shaw 9:33am January 12, 2013)
The best way to be balanced is not to do everything yourself. I've learned to delegate! (Monica Vargo 10:10am January 12, 2013)
I try to get enough sleep... That makes me happier! (May Pau 10:26am January 12, 2013)
To delegate is the best possible way...after all they made the mess too. I would love to read this book, it sounds wonderful!!! (Bonnie Capuano 10:29am January 12, 2013)
If your kids are now old enough to do some housework for pocket money or otherwise, that is great training for them. Don't fret if they don't achieve the same standards as you would if you cleaned something. They'll improve. Share it out and make it fair. With your book successes you should make a point of being happy. Balance for me is trying to do a bit of everything every day. That way I keep up. (Clare O'Beara 10:45am January 12, 2013)
I like the idea of taking walks to get out of the house! My dog is older and has to go out a LOT, which can be annoying, but I keep reminding myself that a few extra steps go a long way. Good luck! (Rebecca Whitehead-Schwarz 12:31pm January 12, 2013)
I think that's one of my problems, Clare, I want my kids to do as good of a job as I would do. That's just not realistic. I love the pocket change idea.
Sleep is soooo important. I love 8 hours. I think I might have to put a lock on our bedroom door. My dog has learned to let himself in and pant over me long before I'm ready to get up:) (Boone Brux 12:33pm January 12, 2013)
I constantly stress my self out over the house cleaning and many chores. My husband constantly tells me to delegate to the kids but my ocd kicks in and I am worrying about them not doing it the way I like it or not putting things back where I want them to go or get this....not folding the laundry and putting it in their dressers to my liking. OH BOY :) My goals this year is to let the reigns go and give myself a break by letting the kids pitch in around the house. Less stress and cleaning for me :) (Jolene Allcock 12:44pm January 12, 2013)
I really need to balance my time... take steps to actually follow through on things that need my attention like cleaning... (Colleen Conklin 1:43pm January 12, 2013)
Yes! Yes! Yes! That's me. Last year I floundered around, couldn't find my true direction, everything came undone. I had no life, energy or joy. Since mid December 2012 until today I am all about Yes. I've easily conquered more than I did the entire year of 2012. I will skip that year in my autobiography- nothing, nada, nil. My family is wondering who I am while I am remembering that "Hey. It's me. I'm back". 2013 is the year I will live everyday and not just sleep, run around mindlessly wondering who I am. I'm 46 and I showed up for life this year! (Lisa Lack 1:58pm January 12, 2013)
Balance is hard for any mom to pull off. You always hear about moms who work full time, keep the house spotless and have just perfect little kids. So not true. It's hard to learn what the right balance is for each person but you have to realize that what is right for someone else is not always right for you. I say that but I have NO balance in my lift right now. LOL (Kelly Zehr 2:41pm January 12, 2013)
Well I have to agree with you on several counts! I have decided to start a Yoga class this year. I went to a couple of sessions with a buddy of mine and his wife and I felt great when we were done! Hurt like heck since I think I moved parts of me that weren't meant to move (or at least haven't moved in awhile!). I also have a good friend who is a Zumba instructor and she has arranged for me to try Aqua Zumba--I figure even my bad knees can take it if we ar ein the water! Cuz you just know everything is better when wet! (Cynthia Weaver 2:49pm January 12, 2013)
Oh, balance is an issue with me, too. I go through jags of poor snacking habits. This year I have resolved not to bar myself from bad snacks, but to eat two or three healthy snacks for every poor one I may indulge in. (G. Bisbjerg 2:55pm January 12, 2013)
I don't balance so well, or delegate. My problem is that I want it done a specific way, and when I delegate it isn't done the way I want it. Balance is such a hard thing and I've found myself just let everything go because I can not strike a decent balance. Then, I just take a nap :) (Teri Zuwala 3:10pm January 12, 2013)
nice new yr. contest (Kent Cook 3:45pm January 12, 2013)
When I was growing up, as the eldest of eight siblings, my mother always delegated jobs. We had a dishwashing schedule for the four oldest and many other chores. Our house was spotless, always! We didn't have a choice or the consequences were not good! It seems like there's always so many things to get done and not enough time. I only had 3 children and I did the majority of the house cleaning, but did delegate job chores that were simple enough for them to accomplish. Never any complaints if they wanted favors and allowances. Now that they're grown up and gone, it's still a task to get everything done without helpers. A person can only do so much in a day, so I find it's easiest to do a few things each day and not try to do it all at once (it's not so overwhelming). It doesn't matter if you work a job or not, you just push yourself harder and work at tasks quicker when your time is limited. Then you just might have time to settle in with a good book at night...if you can stay awake, after all is said and done! (Linda Luinstra 3:47pm January 12, 2013)
Balance is something I need to work on too! And go Fly lady! Although I read the emails more than I actually participate. LOL (Sharon Cargile 3:49pm January 12, 2013)
Prioritize and share or delegate the workload. Some things may not get done on a regular basis, but important projects will be completed. (Bonnie H 4:16pm January 12, 2013)
I've learned to realize that delegating ans letting things go is the key to life. We can't do everything ourselves and shouldn't have to, life is too short. (Ann Sheiring 4:41pm January 12, 2013)
I finally learned to ask for help. How wonderful that now I have more time to read. Blessings, Marjorie (Marjorie Carmony 4:42pm January 12, 2013)
My issues with balance come from my OCD about how I like things done. When something isn't in the right spot or done how I feel that it should be done, I stress out and end up doing every thing myself. I am still working on letting things go. Just because I think something should be done one way, doesn't mean there isn't many others ways to accomplish the task. (Even if I think they are taking it the long way around!) (Judith Cauthan 5:41pm January 12, 2013)
Balance... what is balance??? I know I need to work more on balancing my family, work, chores, exercising and reading but reading usually wins. I even bought a new treadmill and used it faithfully for about 3 months but it's really hard to read and walk at the same time lol. Good luck to everyone looking for their balance and may we all find it =) (Holly Collins 5:47pm January 12, 2013)
At my house, we are both retired now...balance? we're too busy to bother with it. (Mary Hay 6:04pm January 12, 2013)
I struggle with trying to stay away from the snacks especially when I'm not particularly hungry and just eat out of stress (Shirley Younger 6:07pm January 12, 2013)
I have similar struggles to you. For the past few years I have been taking baby steps to make my house cleaner, pay my bills more timely, find time to exercise, etc. (Jennifer Beyer 6:13pm January 12, 2013)
There's a lot of common threads running through the comments. Lisa Lack, I think you're my twin. Your last year sounds exactly how my last year went.
The Flylady is awesome!!! I highly recommend www.flylady.com to anybody who is trying to get their life balanced. There are timed cleaning sprints, but the thing I liked most were the control journals. Everything I need in case a fire breaks out, insurance, phone numbers. I even made one--okay, am in the process of making one, for my writing life. Toss it in my bag before I leave for a conference and I have everything I need. LOVE HER! (Boone Brux 6:50pm January 12, 2013)
Yes, there are always challenges and balancing acts in life and yes there are always things that need cleaning in a home but we must learn to take it one step at a time and I have learned after all these years that by putting God First in my Life that things go easier and smoother and God helps me work out chores and everything that must be done better. God bless You and your family and Happy New Year everyone. Thanks for the fantastic contest. Cecilia CECE (Cecilia Dunbar Hernandez 6:59pm January 12, 2013)
to relax and don't let coworkers get to me!! LOVE THE COVER!!!! (Jennifer Beck 7:50pm January 12, 2013)
I've had a problem with delegating my time to get everything done in a day as well. This year I've decided that I'm going to get my place organized, and do the "fun" things that I've been putting off, because I've been tied down doing other things. My health problems have also been a big problem. The one bit of advice that I have for you is that your house shouldn't pass the white glove test. When someone comes to visit, they should feel comfortable, and that they're like one of the family. My Husband was a real "neatnik," and I think that he finally saw things my way. That's not saying I'm a slob, but my place will never look like something out of House Beautiful. It will be clean, though!! This year, I will ramp it up a notch, and start to go through some of the areas that have gotten a little out of hand, and start to throw away things that should have been thrown out a while ago. At least it's a start!! Good luck with your resolution, and have a Happy and Healthy New Year!! I can't wait to read your book!! (Peggy Roberson 8:32pm January 12, 2013)
balance.... for me it is something as simple as being able to walk anywhere without tripping falling or evan wobbling as i suffer with vertigo and fibromyalgia so i face a struggle every day of finding the balance between my mobility and the pain and i have learnt to do so my taking smaller steps and not being to proud to ask for the help if i need it (Fiona Burke 9:05pm January 12, 2013)
Balance..... for me it's knowing that my husband works nights, so when I get home, especially after a crappy day, I won't have to deal with him!! (Karen Roma 9:12pm January 12, 2013)
I will be starting a new exercise program as part of my new insurance, I will eat healthier because my husband need to, I will clean at least my office BUT my MS has compromised my abillity to initiate and follow through. So my balance will be one day at a time. Have a wonderful 2013. (Kim Lapp 9:16pm January 12, 2013)
I think getting out of the house for a little bit a few times a week can keep you from getting overwhelmed. Also, my mom gave me some advice when it comes to cleaning. Once a day, devote an hour (more or less) to cleaning, no matter what. (Ashley Gonzalez 9:23pm January 12, 2013)
Mt biggest balance issue is keeping my stress levels down. 2013 is the year I reclaim myself...I am getting back to taking Zumba, belly dancing , and possibly adding Pilates to the mix. I'm in the process of buying my first place so the exercise and reminding myself to breathe plus work on getting more sleep so I can handle the things life keeps throwing at me in a better & calmer frame of mind are at the top of my list for finding balance. (Jennifer Mason 9:27pm January 12, 2013)
My biggest balance issue is very similar to yours...I just can't say no. I always take on too much and then stress out & panic when I can't complete it all on time.
I think for 2013 I am going to focus more on my family and health. We have drifted away from "quality" family time and it's time to change that. I also want to take time out for me...reading & down time when I feel the pressure build.
Boone, thank you for sharing your Year of Yes...you are a true inspiration to us all! (Kim Engstrom 10:29pm January 12, 2013)
I think at my stage in life I've finally managed to come to a good balance of life and work. I could do more in my off hours, like get out and volunteer, etc., but I'm enjoying the time to relax and do whatever I want to do. I have a great job that has very little stress, much better than my last one, and I'm definitely much better off. I think you have to work to make that happen, because it's very much worth it. (Barbara Elness 11:48pm January 12, 2013)
2013 started out bad for me. Family has a huge crisis where one is hospitalized. Emotion is going all over the place. I hope that 2013 will end up well for my family and me even though it started out bad. (Kai Wong 12:56pm January 13, 2013)
It's sorting out the priorities. When I do that life is easier. (Mary Preston 2:11am January 13, 2013)
Always searching for balance in my life. (Kathy Sullivan 12:47pm January 13, 2013)
pretty man with ax PICK ME!! (Pamela Faye Howell 4:00pm January 13, 2013)
I struggle to balance my work, family, and volunteer activities, and it gets really tough sometimes. Everyone wants my time, but I have to set priorities, so everyone can't win. In the end, I keep the peace and usually manage to balance it so everyone comes out mostly happy. (Donna Holmberg 7:40pm January 13, 2013)
I think I need more sleep to help balance things out. (Cheryl McEwen 7:54pm January 13, 2013)
Procrastination is what gets me all the time. Scarlett O'Hara I am not, but I have somehow absorbed her "tomorrow" philosophy!! :) I have a friend who says just do OTD (one thing daily) & sometimes you get on a roll and do two or three. I will try to do more of that. And try to get back to writing. Oops sorry, comment to win turned into a ramble. :) P.S. I prefer a print book. I can do ebooks but I still want print. Even tho' I am running outta room here. (Penny Mettert 3:24am January 14, 2013)
Sleep is a major problem for me. My child is 22 with a 5 years old grandson. When I'm not with them I'm reading housework or trying to sleep. Good luck with your books Mary (Mary Key 1:08am January 15, 2013)
Finding balance- some days are easier than others. I'd love to say that retirement has taken all my stress away, but living with an adult with Alzheimer's isn't a bed of roses. Right now, getting enough sleep, having an hour to myself in the morning before she gets up is a blessing too. (Katrina Hough 9:33pm January 19, 2013)
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