Fresh Fiction Blog | Joan Swan | There's what we say... Then there's what we mean...

Life can get so heavy sometimes, don't you think? Too often things that shouldn't be taken seriously get completely misconstrued and out of hand – which is sorta how wars start. Then there are those things we want to say, but politely veil behind other words – something a lot more people probably should do.

It's always good to keep life in perspective, to remember what's really important...and what's really not.

All too often in relationships, communication is a sticky element that can really gum up the works. I thought it would be fun to bring that into a new light – a humorous light. Because its fun. Because it might bring a few smiles. And because if someone can gain a new perspective, well, that's great too.

Offer up one your own what-you-said vs. what-you-meant phrases (or one from your significant others') and you'll be entered to WIN a copy of my debut release FEVER, a fun read about a man with unusual powers whose been wrongly convicted of murder and escapes prison by abducting an innocent woman.

Enjoy!

What women say to men... And what they really mean...

1. Fine: I'm right, this argument is over, and you'd better shut up before you're sleeping in the dog house.

2. Five Minutes: If I'm getting dressed, I mean half an hour. If I'm not, you'd better have your butt off that couch and your hands on that lawnmower in five minutes and thirty seconds.

3. Nothing: This means I'm stewing about something, and you'd better watch your step because just about anything could set me off. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

4. Go Ahead: I dare you.

5. Loud Sigh: Why do I waste my time arguing with you about nothing when I'm always right and I always win?

6. That's Okay: I will be thinking long and hard before deciding how you will pay for this mistake.

7. Thanks: Just accept and say you're welcome.

8. Whatever: F*ck you.

9. Don't worry about it, I got it: I told you to do this several times, but I'll just do it myself. If you want to start a fight, just ask me "What's wrong?"

What men say to women... And what they really mean...

1. That's not what I meant: That's totally what I meant, but now that I see you're mad, I wish I hadn't said it out loud.

2. Can we talk about this later?: I never want to talk about this again.

3. It's fine: It's not actually fine, but if we discuss it, I'll be in deeper shit than I am now.

4. It's a guy thing: There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical.

5. I can't find it: It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless.

6. You're being sensitive: You're either having a serious case of PMS or you're just batshit crazy.

7. It's complicated. I'll explain later: There's nothing complicated about it. I just don't want to explain it. Hopefully you'll forget about it by tomorrow.

8. You look gorgeous in this one: If you change your outfit one more time, I'm leaving without you.

9. She's just an old friend: 98% -- She's someone I used to date; 2% -- I once made a move on her and she wasn't interested.

Joan Swan is a triple RWA® Golden Heart finalist and writes sexy romantic suspense with a paranormal twist. Her debut novel with Kensington Brava, FEVER, released February 28, 2012. Her second novel, BLAZE, follows in October, 2012.

In her day job, she works as a sonographer for one of the top ten medical facilities in the nation and lives on the California central coast in beautiful wine country with her husband and two daughters.

FEVER

Dr. Alyssa Foster will admit to a bad boy fetish...

But when she finds herself face to face with a convicted murderer with determination for freedom and an eye on her as his get out of jail free card, Alyssa knows she's in deep trouble.... Not just because Teague Creek is a prisoner desperate for freedom, but because his every touch makes her desperate for more.

A man with a life sentence has nothing to lose...

Teague Creek has one shot at freedom, but his plan to escape with a hostage develops a fatal flaw: Alyssa. On the run from both the law and deadly undercover operatives who know of his strange abilities, he needs to avoid trouble, but every heated kiss tells him the fire between them could be just as devastating as the flames that changed him forever.

All opportunities in Joan's tour grand prize of either a COLOR NOOK or KINDLE FIRE. Enter

Comments

he says- "I can fix this, it will be an easy job"
what he means- "start looking up the numbers of the repair and the insurance, because I am really going to screw this up"
(Debbie Penny 9:37am March 7, 2012)

When she says "Never mind" she means " I know you're not going to do it so I'll just do it myself."
(Sue Farrell 9:59am March 7, 2012)

I love this! The, "it's fine" and "it's a guy thing" is pretty common but I never could get them. Also if you hear "I'll get to it" from a guy that means don't hold your breath as it won't be happening in this lifetime ;)
(Na S 11:46am March 7, 2012)

I can't find it: It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless. In my house we would say it was put in a "SAFE" place (and should be found again when we pack up to move - eventually)
(Barbara Andersen 12:40pm March 7, 2012)

What I say: Will you do.....
What I mean: Do .... NOW!
What he hears: Blah Blah Blah
What he does: nothing
(Victoria Sloboda 12:42pm March 7, 2012)

After 30 years, I've learned I can only say what I mean to him--he can't read between the lines. And the silent treatment will not be noticed.
(Lisa Elwood 12:59pm March 7, 2012)

Perfect list... had to laugh because it is so right!
(Colleen Conklin 12:59pm March 7, 2012)

When he says: I'll do it later....
What he really means: I'll do it when you nag me again about it....
(May Pau 1:37pm March 7, 2012)

I really don't care--actually means--I care a lot, but I know you don't understand so I will work it out myself.
(Carol Gowett 1:55pm March 7, 2012)

HI JOAN! MARRIED TO SAME MAN FOR 40 YEARS AND HE JUST GOT IT!
LOL. YOUR BOOK SOUNDS AWESOME!
(Linda Bass 2:00pm March 7, 2012)

Where did you find it (whatever it was) I couldn't find it and have looked everywhere. Meaning - Everywhere from this spot that my eyes can see from here ;)
(Wendy Hulbert 2:11pm March 7, 2012)

Hi Barbara! That's always when we find stuff -- moving furniture, cleaning. :)
(Joan Swan 2:46pm March 7, 2012)

Hi Lisa! So true. In my house, the silent treatment is enjoyed!
(Joan Swan 2:47pm March 7, 2012)

Colleen & Carla--glad you enjoyed! :) Thanks for stopping by!
(Joan Swan 2:47pm March 7, 2012)

Carol--yes! Sometimes that is the best way to handle things.
(Joan Swan 2:49pm March 7, 2012)

Hey, Linda. So I only have 18 more years until mine gets it? WHOOT! So much to look forward to! Thanks for coming by!
(Joan Swan 2:50pm March 7, 2012)

Wendy--Exactly! God forbid they actually LIFT something. :)
(Joan Swan 2:51pm March 7, 2012)

Don't worry about it, I got it: I told you to do this several times, but I'll just do it myself. If you want to start a fight, just ask me "What's wrong?"
(Rachel Flesher 3:01pm March 7, 2012)

LOL those are some good ones! I can't think of anymore to add to it :/ Hope I win your book, it sounds really good :)
(MaDonna Lemmen 3:50pm March 7, 2012)

He says, "I'm hungry"
What he means, "Feed me"
(Mary Primorac 4:09pm March 7, 2012)

He looks at you and says, "OK".
She stares at him and waits for more response which rarely happens.
He means it as a compliment for everything, dinner, looks, calendar, whatever.
She just waits for what he's supposed to intuitively know like a mind-reader and gets upset when the telepathy isn't working then.
(Alyson Widen 5:05pm March 7, 2012)

"I put it somewhere safe" in my house typically translates into it is lost and so safe it is even safe from me. Have a great day.
(Chelsea Knestrick 5:23pm March 7, 2012)

What He Says (when it comes to repairing something): I can "jimmy-rig" this, I guess.
What He Means: I don't really know how to fix the darn thing, but I'll do the best I can at f...ing it up in the meantime.
Or... "I'll tell you later." Meaning: I really don't want to tell you at all, and by waiting, I hope you'll forget all about it altogether.
Just a couple of my favorites...lol. What a great blog! Love your book and cover!
(Linda Luinstra 6:11pm March 7, 2012)

And the worse thing is that is exactly what's being thought!
(Diane Sadler 8:08pm March 7, 2012)

When he says: "It's not you it's me."
He means: It's You.
My husband likes to say: What do you think about when you think of nothing?
I don't know what to think, or what it means.
This is fun,Thanks.
(Deb Pelletier 8:34pm March 7, 2012)

I agree with so many of these! I love them!!
I frequently tell my husband, "Your opinion is noted." What it means is,"There is no way in H*LL I'm going to go along with that."
(MaryAnne Banks 9:17pm March 7, 2012)

Awesome. I love these. Especially Go Ahead and Whatever.
(Donna Simmonds 9:28pm March 7, 2012)

that was so funny and true!!!it gave me a much needed laff!!!
(Jennifer Beck 9:49pm March 7, 2012)

I say to my son: What do you need to do for homework tonight
My son hears: All work and no play (actually, he hears dirty words but that just didn't seem appropriate here)
(Jennifer Beyer 10:16pm March 7, 2012)

Hi Mary -- LOL, that's pretty straight forward!
(Joan Swan 10:23pm March 7, 2012)

Gave me a good laugh, Linda L. The first one had me thinking of my dad and his infamous duct tape!
(Joan Swan 10:28pm March 7, 2012)

Deb -- that cracks me up -- when you think of nothing! LOLOL.
(Joan Swan 10:29pm March 7, 2012)

MaryAnne -- I like that one. May I borrow? I'll give it back :)
(Joan Swan 10:30pm March 7, 2012)

Donna & Jennifer -- Glad you enjoyed! Thanks for stopping by!
(Joan Swan 10:31pm March 7, 2012)

LOL, Jennifer B. They all hear those dirty words, don't they?
(Joan Swan 10:31pm March 7, 2012)

Well all I can say is being married to a man who very rarely swears...when he swears during a fight. I have won...it means he has nothing else to say and is frustrated. After 20 years I haven't told him I have figured that out..lol
(Patti Paonessa 10:49pm March 7, 2012)

Okay'You're right! (When Hell freezes over)
(Charlotte Zimmerman 10:54pm March 7, 2012)

Hmmm, I'm not really sure.......I really don't want to think about it now. Did you say something?.......not now, I'm busy. My friend was reading some of yous and he just laughed and said they would be different if a man wrote them. LOL. This was funny because then he wouldn't get off the subject, I got a good laugh. Thanks
(Margie Gagarin 11:06pm March 7, 2012)

Love your list, how true it is.
mine would be:
When he says: I'll do it later or the next day
What he really means: he won't do it, I have to do it or it
doesn't get done.
(Becky Ward 5:51am March 8, 2012)

LL -- LOL, like never done? :) That would be my guy.
(Joan Swan 9:48am March 8, 2012)

Patti - that's funny! And you're a smart woman, keeping that little gem to yourself!
(Joan Swan 9:49am March 8, 2012)

Hey Margie --- Oooo, I want to know what a GUY would write!!!!!!!!!!!!! Though a couple of these were from guys :)
(Joan Swan 9:51am March 8, 2012)

'What's Wrong' - 'Nothing' - can't believe that one from
either side.
(Diane Sallans 11:55am March 8, 2012)

Loved the list. I have heard all of those and you have interrupted them
correctly. When my husband says he will fix it, he is handy. It really
means. When I find someone else to fix it for practically nothing. That is
when it will get done.
(Joy Isley 6:23pm March 8, 2012)

Love this blog! My favorite: he says, 'That just doesn't make any sense', he means--we should do it my way. When I say, 'nothing's wrong' or 'you don't want to know what's wrong', it means I have been saving up and he will eventually hear it all! We've been married almost 39 years and we really do get each other. We just don't always let on that we do! :-) Love the cover of your book and would like to read it.
(Mary Perry 6:43pm March 8, 2012)

*falls out of chair laughing* OMG! Those are sooo true! My favorites are Fine and Whatever. I say them multiple times throughout the day. DH always says "it's fine". :)

I also always say "Really" or "Seriously" - which basically means: Is it possible for you to actually be this dumb? Common sense doesn't seem to be your strong point.

Thanks for the fun post!
Kendra @ Reader's Edyn
(Kendra Edens 9:44pm March 9, 2012)

Oh, my gosh, I love that list! You must have had so much fun
coming up with it!
(Margay Roberge 9:31am March 12, 2012)

I just received an email that I won Fever! Thanks Joan and Fresh Fiction! Looking forward to reading it.
(Mary Perry 7:35pm March 12, 2012)

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Joan Swan | There's what we say... Then there's what we mean...

What women say to men... And what they really mean...

What men say to women... And what they really mean...

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April's Affections and Intrigues: Love and Mystery Bloom

Authors To Watch

Fresh Fiction BlogGet to Know Your Favorite Authors

Joan Swan | There's what we say... Then there's what we mean...

What women say to men... And what they really mean...

What men say to women... And what they really mean...

Comments

Services

SPECIALS

FOR AUTHORS

We Love

Fresh Fiction Blog
Get to Know Your Favorite Authors