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Sofie Kelly | Say Cheese!

I hate having my picture taken, something I blame equally on my mother and her closest friend, mother of my childhood buddies Bill and Stephen. Both moms had old Brownie box cameras, and they were forever posing us in front of something—a bush, a fence, someone's car—reminding us, "Say cheese," and then spending the next several minutes squeezing us closer together and wiping dirt from our faces with mommy spit, while our smiles hardened into something resembling the rictus of a death mask. Then when the photos were developed, someone—usually me—was missing the top of his or her head.

See what I mean? (You'll notice the boys are nowhere to be seen, but I do have all my head in this one.)

Studebaker.jpg

Over the years I've had some good photos taken and some not so good ones, like the time I tried to duplicate the crisp, white-shirted look of one of my favorite writers, Tess Gerritsen. With my fair skin I ended up looking more like Robert Pattinson in the Twilight movies. Even if you squinted, I didn't look like Tess.

Recently, I heard from the very nice publicist who works for one of my equally nice publishers. Did I have a recent photo? I didn't. Since the Tess Gerritsen look hadn't worked for me I decided to emulate fellow writer Hank Phillippi Ryan, who always looks great in black. In her photos she looks friendly, approachable, playful. (Probably because she's all that in real life.)

"I'll take your picture," my teenage daughter with her new digital camera offered. "If we take action shots you'll look more natural."

Natural and playful are sort of the same thing, aren't they?

Not exactly.

One leg.jpg

Sadly, I look nothing like Hank.

No, this picture has not been photo-shopped. No, I did not just score a touchdown.  Yes, I do have two legs.

So I gave up again. But the nice publicist really is nice...and persistent. "I'll take your picture," my husband offered. "Okay," I said. How bad could it be, I reasoned.

We walked over to the park on a beautiful, unseasonably warm fall day. "Stand there," he said. He took some shots. He pointed to another spot. "How about there?" We did a few more shots. "Okay," he said. 

That was it.  Easy.

Too easy?

We took the camera home and downloaded the photos. There was one unfortunate picture taken when a sudden breeze blew, that left me looking like Don King, but there were three photos that I liked. Actually liked.

This is the one we finally decided on.

author

The top of my head is intact. You can't even see my legs. And...well, I'm not saying I look like Hank...but maybe if you squint?

Sofie Kelly

Tell us about your own photo experiences in the past, missing limbs, funny photos, etc, and two will win a copy of SLEIGHT OF PAW

 

 

Comments

65 comments posted.

Re: Sofie Kelly | Say Cheese!

I make faces at my sisters and Mom all the time. Well once
my mom decided she needed to take it in a picture and snap
right as I was looking like a demented troll.
Another I was in a picture with one of my best female
friends and we were still getting into position when her mom
snapped the pic and it looked like we were groping each
other....
(Brandi Gillilan 12:05pm December 1, 2011)

Yeah, I know what that's like I've had a few photos like that
but thankfully I don't really remember them!
(Sabrena Pattat 7:00pm December 1, 2011)

I hope I look nothing like I do in pictures of me!
I'm usually squinting or have my eyes closed and my mouth wide open because someone made me laugh. I love to laugh. Buuuut not while someone is taking a picture!
It's a curse to laugh so easily while someone else is taking pictures!
Oh well, it could be worse...I could show up in all pictures looking angry. That was back when I was a child, a whole 'nother story for another time, so its fun and enjoyable to laugh easily today.
(Laurie Murray 8:53pm December 1, 2011)

Hmmm looking back at the photos when I THOUGHT I was having a great hair day...10 years later it is scary what I THOUGHT was good hair lol!
(Darci Paice 2:13am December 6, 2011)

I look awful in pictures.
(Jenny Finstrom 4:31pm December 9, 2011)

Photos are not my friend. I am not at all photogenic - my skin
is the wrong color, my hair is always flying in the slightest
breeze, and somehow I always, ALWAYS blink, talk, or move in
the photos. Not good. NOT. GOOD.
(Angeles W 4:04am December 14, 2011)

I strike the same pose in every picture I'm in lol
(Tammy Johnson 2:42pm December 14, 2011)

A lot of times I close my eyes right at the time someone is going to take a picture. Recently my daughter was going to take a picture and I didn't know it. I walked right in front of the camera at the exact moment that she took the picture. Talk about up close and personal, lol. I told her that she could delete it but she said oh no. So she has a view of my face that looks the photo was enlarged but it wasn't.
(Mary Christian 11:14am December 16, 2011)

i dont like my picture taken and i give the finger if they take my picture!!
(Jennifer Beck 12:36pm December 18, 2011)

I absolutely, posotively HATE having my picture taken also. I will also do ANYTHING to be seen in any picture. Part of the reason is I have really large, bluish-green colored eyes and they tend to POP out of any pic I have taken, hence the nickname all through school of "Frog Eyes". Today when people ask me where I am in a photo I tell them, happily, "Behind the camera!"
(Amy Conley 1:20am December 18, 2011)

MY SENTIMENTS EXACTLY, AMY!
(Silvana Moscato 3:32am December 18, 2011)

I love reading mystery books that have cats in them, but these
where the cats have special powers to go invisible and walk
through walls make it extra fun to read. :)
(Lynn Paterson 4:56am December 18, 2011)

I love reading mystery books,but have never read one with cats who have special powers. How intriquing. Sounds like a real fun read:-)
(Jan Capstick 5:18am December 18, 2011)

My mother also had the brownie camera with the flash bulbs that left you blind or seeing spots for minutes after the photos. She was a good photographer, but somehow, I was the one who blinked, moved or looked cross-eyed. I swore I'd never do that to my kids... only guess what? I take my camera everywhere and take photos all the time! It's one of the tricks I use when writing - taking photos of people and places help me to go describe the scene later on... And as for my kids... well, they really should learn to hold still so I don't keep cutting off the top of their heads!
(Cheryl Antier 8:35am December 18, 2011)

My Husband always manages to get the perfect setting for the picture, but I look like I'm talking, when I'm not, or my eyes are squinty!! I usually wear sunglasses now to fix the squinty look. I try to get my Husband to get the scenery shot instead of having me in the photo. Sometimes it works. Let me say that I don't think you look old enough to ever have your photo taken with a brownie camera!! I'm a BIG ANIMAL LOVER and don't know how you escaped my radar!! You are definately moved to the top of my TBR list!! I love the cover of your book, too!! Have a wonderful Christmas and a Happy New Year!!
(Peggy Roberson 9:48am December 18, 2011)

I hate getting my picture taken, that damn camera sides with the scale!!
(Kathleen Jones 10:24am December 18, 2011)

I agree Kathleen. In every picture taken of me I look like a beached whale, when I'm not really. Yes, I am about 60 pounds overweight, but I am really tall and it hangs around the middle. Usually people get my picture only at Christmas because I hide behind my digital camera too. In those few pictures I have taken of me opening my gifts I usually look terrible like my hair is all over the place and there is my fat middle staring out at you. Yuck!
(Carolyn Overholser 11:01am December 18, 2011)

I totally hate my picture being taken..I avoid at all cost...I just never look good in a picture...Thanks for sharing today.
(Dawn Staniszeski 11:09am December 18, 2011)

My husband and I were on a trip-of-a-lifetime in Australia, and went to one of their people-friendly zoos. They had an exhibit where you got to feed the birds; you held out dishes of food and the colorful little birds landed all over you to eat! Being an animal lover, this was a truly wonderful experience. We asked a nice young man to take some pictures of us, and he took many, with us beaming at the camera. (This was before digital.) When we got home to the States and developed the pictures, we saw that, for reasons completely unknown, he cut my husband out of every single picture! In every picture, I'm off to the side, and you can see my husband's hand around my shoulders, or a bit of the side of his body... We were a little upset, and definitely disappointed, but the whole situation was so bizarre that now it makes us laugh, and we wonder what was going through this man's head that day. =)
(Kathleen Conner 11:22am December 18, 2011)

I hate, hate, hate having my picture taken!
(Jenny Finstrom 11:23am December 18, 2011)

i really don't like my picture taken but in my younger days really didn't mind it, even use to pose for them when friends aimed their cameras my way. funny how time changes the way a person reacts or feels about such things...
(Michael Cuchinelli 12:24pm December 18, 2011)

It doesn't matter what we do, I always have my eyes shut. Even in pictures that are taken randomly, those eyes are still shut. Maybe it's a way of saving my soul?
(Renee Brown 12:51pm December 18, 2011)

oh, i HATE to have my pic taken!! I look dorky, or witless, or dopey!! grrr. my sister and my son take GREAT photos, they are so relaxed, AND look good too!
(Anne Harris 12:52pm December 18, 2011)

Oh... I have dorky poses or really odd poses... None look good... Jealous of photogenic people...
(May Pau 1:10pm December 18, 2011)

Oh I am not one that likes their pic taken... I try to avoid it... so I have a few with my back turned towards the camera, hands over my face... etc...
(Colleen Conklin 1:18pm December 18, 2011)

My pictures make me look too natural. All that fat can't be me!
(Prentiss Gsarner 1:20pm December 18, 2011)

I HATE having my picture taken so I have found "fun" ways around it. 99% of the time I won't give up possession of the camera. When I'm forced to...I find it a perfect time to hold up one of the kids or dogs so that their heads become attached to my body :O)
(Brenda Logan 1:26pm December 18, 2011)

My mom always wanted us to get family portraits every year and give them to our relatives as Christmas gifts. I only remember always shopping for a "cute" dress that my sister and I would have to sit in for what seemed like hours while we pretended we liked each other and smiling as people arranged us with different backdrops and props. Now I always feel nervous when people try to take my picture, because I have no idea how to pose! Especially when it comes to trying to do something "normal" with my hands. I think it is the best when people take pictures of me, while I'm doing something, and then it looks decent ^-^
(Alyssa m 1:39pm December 18, 2011)

Merry Christmas, sure hope to win a copy of SLEIGHT OF PAW, sound great.
(Debbie Ellis 2:58pm December 18, 2011)

I also hate having my picture taken . I look bloated and fat. Plus I close my eyes
95% of the time. I like taking pictures of others much more. I have 3 crazy cats
I got from a shelter, so I want your book. It sounds so good. Fingers crossed
that I win it!
(Tammy Yenalavitch 3:07pm December 18, 2011)

My eyes are closed in most of my pics. Have no idea why
(Anne Derkat 3:13pm December 18, 2011)

I'm usually behind the camera and most of the time manage to avoid having my picture taken. Now that I'm in my "getting older" stage of life, I definitely try to avoid having mine taken. Unfortunately at family reunions, there is always someone else with a camera, and the pictures I dislike the most are taken of my profile. Ugh!!!
(Anna Speed 3:20pm December 18, 2011)

lol.. great post! I'd have to say that as an asian woman, it's hard to take pics where it doesn't look like my eyes are closed... Now, I'm usually the photographer so I don't have to worry about any pics of me floating around :)

Happy Holidays!
(Erin Fender 3:48pm December 18, 2011)

Well, I prefer to have pictures taken only with warning since my glasses are Transistions and if in bright sunlight, they are tinted dark. Plus it gives me a chance to turn sideways and strike a pose. I agree that action shots are usually the best, but you do look good by that fence where your lower body remains a mystery. Just remembered for sitting at dinner what's on the top half should be where the attention goes other than watching faces to see if they get your drift.
(Alyson Widen 4:19pm December 18, 2011)

Yes, in my younger days when I was blonde hair, blue eyes
and skinny then I did not mind having my pics taken but now
that I am older and heavier in weight I would rather wait
till I get skinny again to have some more Pics taken. I love
Cats and Dogs too and would love to win this fantastic book.
Thanks, Cecilia CECE
(Cecilia Dunbar Hernandez 4:33pm December 18, 2011)

I actually love unusual author photos, so I would have been delighted if the final pick was the one with grasses blowing...

Myself, I like to take credit for the current deluge of demons paranormal tales due to my utter lack of capacity to have any other types of eyes in photos but the red, glowing type.
(Maya Missani 4:36pm December 18, 2011)

I used to model, what seems a thousand years
ago and 50lbs. ago, I loved the camera...then
children arrived and since I have behind the
lens. It's rare to even find a recent photo of me I
think the last was at a wedding 5 years ago.
Funny story though, my nephew in law, is in
every photo of family events and candid shots.
He attaches himself to other family members
standing around the tree, always putting his
head and body in almost every shot. Considering
he is over 30 now, continues to do this, it is a
long running family joke. You can have a copy of
your family around the tree with Jon in the
background (looking like he belongs to you).
(Carla Carlson 4:38pm December 18, 2011)

I love cats!! The front cover grabbed my attention right away. Thanks for hosting contests.
(Marilyn Legault 4:47pm December 18, 2011)

I just plain dislike having my picture taken---I think the last good picture of me is my high school graduation photo! I always have some kind of goofy expression on my face instead of a smile.
(Sue Farrell 5:12pm December 18, 2011)

i thought at a special event it would be good to lift my chin as to avoid any double chin.sadly i just look odd since I lifted my chin so high in the air.
(Catherine Myers 5:23pm December 18, 2011)

I think your pictures are great. You've actually given me a couple of ideas for a new picture of my least favorite subject: me.
(Deborah Rosen 5:24pm December 18, 2011)

My daughter and I went to Disneyland for a girl's weekend in early December. We loved riding the Buzz Lightyear ride and rode it numerous times. They take a photo while you fight the evil enemy. Each picture was exactly the same. You couldn't tell one from the other. Amazing when you consider that we rode 25 times. Now you can thank us for saving the universe.
(Rosemary Krejsa 5:33pm December 18, 2011)

Seems like most photos I've been in are shot of me, I'm not looking at the camera, looking down so eyes look closed or sitting down opening a gift, and it's all legs! I must say more look horrible than good. One quickly taken in the back yard while I'm holding my dog was the best ever--I actually appeared as though I'd lost a bunch of weight (over 50 lbs.). It turned out so good, my son framed it and keeps it on his desk at his house!! I'm smiling too. Maybe, the best pics are the ones that are done in a hurry without posing or thinking! Sofie, your last photo on your blog, by the stone wall is very good of you! Thanks for the great idea to blog about--fun to read everyone's experiences!!! Merry Christmas!
(Linda Luinstra 5:48pm December 18, 2011)

I like the picture you chose. I hate having my picture taken, but when a relative was visiting from overseas this summer, I let her take a picture of me.
(Mary C 5:51pm December 18, 2011)

Funny, when I was younger, I was a photographer's model. I just don't like my picture taken now. I never seem to be able to smile right.
(Debbie Penny 6:17pm December 18, 2011)

I never liked to be in front of the camera. When my father was insisting on taking my picture, I was always making funny faces or lower my face so the photo will not catch me.
Although I LOVE taking pictures, I am still not comfortable when my photos are taken and I stand in front of the camera nice and serious ONLY when ID documents photos are needed.
(Alice Vernescu 6:24pm December 18, 2011)

I've always had a camera in my hand so people wouldn't engage me in conversation, etc. because I am so shy. BTW I love cats!
(Carole Abel 6:35pm December 18, 2011)

I take the pictures so I don't have to be in them. When someone does catch me i'm usually looking down.
(Kathy Weber 6:53pm December 18, 2011)

I can't say that I remember many pictures that could rival the ones you described but I have always been shy so I got to the point early on (around preteen years) that I pretty much didn't allow people to take pictures of me. School pictures ... sure, fine ... but otherwise, forget it! :) I'm still like that. I don't consider myself much to look at and even though sometimes I think I might look nice when looking in a mirror by the time I see myself in a picture I cringe. LOL I tend to look bug-eyed. :D And, of course, now-a-days I have two long scars on my right cheek from skin cancer removal/reconstructive surgery! So yeah, I no like cameras. :)
By the way, the pictures your family took turned out nice, even if the playful one might have flaws (according to you). The one your husband took turned out great though!
Also, I am so a cat person and your book sounds awesome! Thank you very much for the chance to perhaps win it.
(Pamela Rosensteel 7:06pm December 18, 2011)

I am usually the one taking the pictures. But on our last anniversary I was dressed up and my husband wanted to take a picture of me. He's not great at checking the background when taking pictures so when I saw the photo it looked like I had a huge plant growing from the top of my head. Plants and trees make pretty backgrounds but not when there's a branch right behind your head.
(Erika Kliciak 7:15pm December 18, 2011)

Love your comments about your family pics.
The pic that your hubby took is beautiful.
With my experience with having my pic. taken,
tend to shut my eyes. some family pics are
toosys. as the legs are cut off and there is
to much bare space above my aunt and uncles heads.
My hubby actually takes great pics of our dog and
holidays pics.
(Dayle Butler 7:19pm December 18, 2011)

I am the picture taker and I usually take good pictures. I have a dog that I constantly take pictures of. For Halloween I dressed her in a squirrel costume that she hated. She would put her head down in all of the pictures. But on the last shot, I couldn't believe it she stuck her tongue out at me. I did capture the picture and it's the best one I took that day. I guess she told me how much she hated posing and the custome.
(Cheryl English 7:24pm December 18, 2011)

I, too, hate to have my picture taken. My soon to be hjusband took a picture of me - I was up on the porch and he was standing on the ground. I have a great "up my nose" shot. Better yet, I'm cross-eyed.
(Patricia Barraclough 8:27pm December 18, 2011)

Every single photograph of me I look like I have been into the booze. Shocking!!
(Mary Preston 9:00pm December 18, 2011)

I hate having my picture taken. They always turnout awful. Thanks for giving me a chance to win your book. Happy holidays to everyone.
(Linda Hall 10:41pm December 18, 2011)

Im another one who hates having their picture taken they always come out looking bad.I guess bad timing with eye blinks but I have had quite a few where I look drunkj its weird I pretty much turn my head or walk away when someone trys to snap one of me .Id love to read your book.
(Wanda Flanagan 11:11pm December 18, 2011)

I never liked having my picture taken. Now I regret that I'm
not seen in so many family photos.
(Eileen Blackmore 12:04pm December 19, 2011)

I hate having my picture taken, which is why you will find me hiding behind some tall friend in the group.
(Shirley Nienkark 1:04pm December 19, 2011)

I know how you feel about pictures. I have never been one for having my picture taken. When it is taken, I just pray that I don't look like the picture they have taken. I sort of hide when I know pictures are being taken. I think it gets worse as the years go by for pictures being taken of me.
(Diane Castiglione 3:07pm December 19, 2011)

My parents took a zillion pictures of my older sister and you can find a few of me. So when I had kids I made sure I had pictures of both of them. I was the picture taker in our family from a teenager on so I'm rarely in any of the pictures lol. Now digital is great because you see immediately what you have or don't have. But I've finally given picture taking over to my grown daughters and now that there are some pictures of me - I hate most of them because now I'm old roflmao.
(Jeanne Sheats 3:20pm December 19, 2011)

I have fine fair hair. Every picture I have taken makes me look like Ben Franklin-
-hair around the edges while bald on top. Except for my driver's license I have
not allowed anyone to take my picture for a long long time.
(Sandra Spilecki 3:22pm December 19, 2011)

I haven't liked many photos taken of me. Perhaps, it's a good thing that many are from a distance and not close-ups! So many are taken when you don't expect it, then friends are passing them around for everyone to view at a later date(surprise)! I'd rather be the one taking pictures, than in them. Most look worse than your drivers license id photo! Yours look great.
(Rich Cook 4:41pm December 19, 2011)

I wear my blouses and tops out loose for comfort and to not have to be constantly retucking them into my slacks. Twice lately someone has taken my picture at a meal event where I am seated and the blouse is sticking way out across my lap. In both pictures, I look like I weigh 300 pounds and actually I am a small person.
(Gladys Paradowski 7:56pm December 19, 2011)

I have to say I hate that when I was younger my parents made us all wear matching outfits for holidays. We have pictures of one Easter in particular where our parents and all of the kids (two boys, two girls) are all dressed in powder blue outfits the girls wore one outfit and the boys all wore the same suit. OMG they are horrible and hilarious at the same time. I think I feel worse for my brothers. That had to be embarassing for them.
(Patti Paonessa 11:46pm December 20, 2011)

Well in our family there are a lot of pictures and movies of my older brothers. I guess my parents stopped taking asmany pictures. Of course with the age of my brothers in most of the pictures I should have been around...right? My parents say my pictures are on the slides, but the slide projector is broken. The pictures I have seen I am usually missing teeth or my mom just had gotten done perming my hair. Those pictures I don't share with anyone.
(Roxanne Larson 12:27pm December 22, 2011)

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