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Sidney Ayers | Romance is NOT Unrealistic...
June 20, 2011
A while ago, I ran into an old friend while at the gas station. When he asked
how I'd been, I told him my good news. It was a couple weeks after I sold the
Demons Unleashed series, so I was excited beyond words. Then he asked me what
the books were about. I'm not someone who's ashamed at what I write, so I told
him it was a series of paranormal romances. "Oh like Twilight?" he asked. "Not really my hero is a demon," I replied. "And the characters are adult." I gave him a rather brief synopsis of what DEMONS PREFER BLONDES was
about. As I was preparing my coffee, he came back over and said, "I feel sorry
for you." What? Sorry for me? I was confused to say the least. "Why?" I asked against my
better judgment. "All you romance authors write about love and you're as lonely as ever." News flash, now no longer friend of mine. Not all romance authors are single.
Most of my close friends who write are very happily married. I might be single,
but it's a choice I've made. I haven't met someone I want to share my life with
yet. Oh, and believe me, I'm not waiting for Rhett Butler or Edward Cullen to
sweep me off my feet. Despite my romantic tendencies, I'm still a realist. Yes, I like the idea of love and romance, of course, or I wouldn't write it. The
idea that two people can be thrust together in tough situations and come out
with a stronger relationship isn't that unrealistic, is it? You see it in more
than romance novels. You can see it in any TV show or action movie, too. Then there are people who would liken reading romances to watching porn, and
blame someone's "romance novel" addiction to failing marriages across the
country. Sure some romance has sex and intimacies, but it isn't porn. There's
character growth and a plot. There's more than sex. Porn is just sex for the
sake of having sex and there's no relationship between the characters. Romance
novel sex is there for the sake of showing character growth. People fail
marriages, not the books they read. There's nothing wrong with writing romances. There's nothing wrong with reading
them. It's a great escape when life gets a little rough. I wish more men would
read romances so they could see what a great romance novel has to offer. DEMONS PREFER
BLONDES BY SIDNEY AYERS – IN
STORES JUNE 2011 A Bad Day For A Demon Rafe Deleon is a senior demon and he resents like hell his assignment to Earth
to retrieve the Chest of the Damned before it falls into the wrong hands. But
then he meets beautiful, intriguing succubus Lucy Gregory, and she's just
unleashed a whole load of trouble... Really Sucks For A Succubus Lucy's chic suburban beauty salon has suddenly become the Underworld's center of
mass chaos and destruction. The only good thing in a day going rapidly down the
tubes is the arrival of a gorgeous demon who's adamant that he can help her... But Lucy has quite a few deeply unpleasant—not to mention deadly and
hateful—surprises ahead of her, and surely there's never been a worse time
to try out a new boyfriend... ABOUT THE AUTHOR Sidney Ayers writes
light paranormal and erotic romance. Her manuscripts have won or placed in the
MORWA Gateway to the Best, the Valley of the Sun Hot Prospects, the Passionate
Ink Stroke of Midnight, the Heart of Denver Molly, and the Finally a Bride
contests. She lives in Michigan where she is working on the next book in the
Demons Unleashed series, DEMONS LIKE IT HOT—in stores December
2011. For more information, please visit http://www.sidneyayers.com/ Tell us your thoughts about romance: realistic or unrealistic? Two commenters
will win a copy of DEMONS
PREFER BLONDES
Comments
56 comments posted.
Re: Sidney Ayers | Romance is NOT Unrealistic...
I think that romance novels are meant to be
somewhat unrealistic giving the reader the flutter
of butterflies and anticipation as when starting a
new love affair. The freshness and candlelight
dinners. Over time the reality is that the courting
is done the dinners are rushed and appointments
for time together are penciled in and not always
priority. Romances bring us back to the first
feelings and sometimes the dh is very thankful for.
(Carla Carlson 3:23am June 20, 2011)
I think romance novels are supposed to be unrealistic, they are fantasies and a way to escape for a short time from our daily lives. I don't think that this makes us expect for the books to come true. I for one am not waiting for either a vampire, shifter, or demon to come into my life, be so completely sexy and of course totally in love with me. But they do make great characters to dream about.
(June A, Manning 3:55am June 20, 2011)
I love reading romance books andy genre - people who ask me about what I read, when I say romance they think it is all feinting woman and being carried off. As we all know they are not like that - well some are! - I love the somplex stories about romance. It amazes me how each story is deifferent. Keep writing as people like me appreciate your books - I could never write one myself.
(Barbara Hanson 8:31am June 20, 2011)
Lifelong romance reader - I like the demon is a good guy theme. interesting. Thanks for the contest
(Beth Elder 8:50am June 20, 2011)
I never considered myself a lover of romance novels... but after reading a few good ones I have to admit there is something enjoyable about them.
(Holly Caulfield 10:00am June 20, 2011)
I have been married for 29 years and I love romance novels. Only for the lonely-you have got to be kidding! My sister is single by choice and prefers mysteries. Guess your ex-friend has a bit of the male chauvinist thing going on. Keep on writing those romances; the idea of a good guy demon is intriguing.
(Jody Hollenbeck 10:01am June 20, 2011)
Reading is the best escape ever!!
(Kelli Jo Calvert 10:16am June 20, 2011)
I love romance novels..a great way to get my mind off of everyday stress...
(Dawn Staniszeski 10:23am June 20, 2011)
What a thrill it must be to sell a book you have written!
Blessings,
Marjorie
(Marjorie Carmony 10:34am June 20, 2011)
I definately agree that reading romance is a great escape. Reading lets me forget everything that is wrong with my life while I concentrate on the characters of the book I am reading.
Congrats on your new series.
(Robin McKay 10:38am June 20, 2011)
Romance novels are a way to escape. I enjoy then whether they
are realistic or not, they just have to be fun.
(Tara Smith 10:54am June 20, 2011)
What has he ever written? It's a tough job no matter the subject matter!
(Lisa Elwood 10:59am June 20, 2011)
hun you find the knight soon you are a special person and you write for living so be proud of it and you new when friend stay or go i love the book cover and title best of luck
(Desiree Reilly 11:10am June 20, 2011)
I prefer realistic, but am open to both.
(Lisa Garrett 11:11am June 20, 2011)
I would say a vast amount of the romance I read is unrealistic in terms of how perfect the main characters are, how fast they fall in love, etc. That's fine with me, it's an escape for me.
I love it when an author is being "progressive" and the heroine is a size 12. OMG!!! The horrors of it all, she's so lucky the hero over looks it. Well, the average women is larger than a 12. Bah! What a cop out.
I have read two books within the last year where a main character is blinded and physically deformed in an accident/crime. They both stayed blind (no miraculous recovery or surgeon lover who saves the day) and the books dealt with difficulties of them mentally and physically recovering and how hard it also was on their lovers/care givers. As I mentioned, I do read for escapism, but these weren't too heavy and did start with the characters being whole and ended on an upswing too.
(Anne Muller 11:24am June 20, 2011)
the book sounds wonderful and i can't wait to read it.
(Tammy Ramey 11:30am June 20, 2011)
We must be on the same wavelength. My boyfriend and I just broke up a couple days ago, and (part of) the fight was concerning my "unrealistic expectations" of the man in my life...and that's when I booted him out of my life.
Every fight where he was losing, he pulled the "you write romance therefore your expectation of me is unrealistic" card.
Really? I can't tell the difference between fiction and reality?
Maybe he was right. I sure as hell made excuse after excuse for his bad behavior to friends, family, and most importantly, to myself.
No more.
I'm not ôlooking for a heroô but I'm NOT interested in villains any more either.
Please pick as the winner. I need your book as therapy. ;)
(Jocelyn Modo 11:48am June 20, 2011)
After 3 divorces and a 13 year relationship that is
unraveling as we speak I am finally "getting" the Romance
craze. I am not a romantic and I don't like sickly sweet and
over processed words much but I do like kind gestures,
stability and laughter and I am just discovering that you
can find that in some Romance novels. Adventure is always a
plus too. Let's just say that I am a little bit more open
minded today with my reading and it's a good thing!!
(Michele Powell 11:48am June 20, 2011)
I love to read romance novels, as long as they don't go too over the top!! By that I mean that the story line should be realistic and flowing. When I read a book, I want to be able to connect with the characters, and be taken along for the ride, not feel cheapened and in need of a shower when I get through because I feel as if I'd been assaulted, if you get my drift. I've read some books that were way over the top and couldn't finish them. I'm not prudish, either. Anyway, anyone from my great state of Michigan can't be all bad, and I'm looking forward to reading your book. May I interject that men should have an open mind and read one of these genres of books from time to time. I think they would help some of them with their relationships.
(Peggy Roberson 12:10pm June 20, 2011)
I think that people may liken the romance genre to porn because both appear to set unrealistic expectations, not necessarily because critics see them exactly alike.
Men watch porn because they want to see "perfect" beautiful women without their clothes on, doing things in movies that most women do not do. Women read romance because, often, the male interest in the stories are strong, yet tender. Maybe an unrealistic match may be made (a "geeky or akward woman is the love interest of a hunky guy, who realizes that what he is looking for in a woman is what she has to offer inside, although he does find her asthetically beautiful, as well). The man knows what to do to make his partner happy, and does it because he wants to, not because he is expecting anything in return!
Both forms of entertainment meet the need of fantasy in either situation, but neither promotes realism with what you may have for a partner in your life.
I would argue though, that with the romance genre, women are not seeking something that is UNOBTAINABLE or unrealistic in that, with the women being portrayed in porn, one cannot create a mold and form their ideal partner.
In romance, there are not things (in a non-paranormal sense) that are portrayed that the "hero" does for his partner that a man could not do for his partner in real life. Sure, we may not all be able to, say, marry bachelor billionaires, but the way that he loves and cares for his partner is not something that is unachievable by any man.
(Jennifer Abrams 12:13pm June 20, 2011)
Romance novels are unrealistic in some respects but the
emotions are never anything but real. We all feel the kind of
love, lust etc. that the average hero/heroine feels in any
romance and that's just the way it should be :D
(Ilona Fenton 12:25pm June 20, 2011)
Romance novels are supposed to be somewhat unrealistic, it is fiction after all. It is an escape from our everyday routine and it is not just for single people, I am happily married and I read them all the time.
(Kris Bowers 1:20pm June 20, 2011)
Romance in books for me can be realistic or unrealistic... I read them for the enjoyment, the escape and the HEAs!
(Colleen Conklin 1:33pm June 20, 2011)
Unrealistic or not, I love a happily ever after. That's why I read. or watch at movie.
(Lisa Kendall 1:36pm June 20, 2011)
A good balance between what is & what is possible. At times reality bites so a bit of fanatasy goes along way. Or a reality check on what just simply is.
(Marcelle Cole 1:41pm June 20, 2011)
This book looks and sounds to be an excellent read. Not to mention blondes have been plagued with being not so bright or airheads, which i am not fond with nor do i like anyway referring to anyone woman with blond hair like that. So when a story that praises women with blonde hair in them as heros or as women of virtue i love it even more.
(Anthonia Sharp 3:23pm June 20, 2011)
I have been happily married for 23 years this week and I read romance novels and write romance novels. If men feel they are unrealistic maybe they should try a little harder. Getting respect and a good time in bed does not sound unrealistic to me.
(Amanda Murphy 3:41pm June 20, 2011)
Pfft, what did that guy ever write? Another misconception that really ticks me
off is how formulaic romances are, ie. we know there will be a happy ending
so it's not worth reading. Well, if you read a mystery you know the sleuth will
catch the bad guy, right? And you read it anyway. And in a thriller you know
the villain will be vanquished, but you read it anyway. So sure, we guarantee a
HEA, but every journey there is different.
(Grace Hood 3:43pm June 20, 2011)
Reading a romance novel is an opportunity to try another life which, perhaps, may inspire goals both in a reader's own relationships and/or a reader's other life pursuits or which simply may satisfy a reader's fanciful dreams. In achieving any of these activities, a novel succeeds. Without romance novels, probably there would be many more unhappy, unfulfilled, and dissatisfied people.
I discovered romance novels in the 7th grade (at age 12) while browsing a public library's shelves and have been hooked ever since! A romance novel never disappoints!
(Carla Schuller 3:57pm June 20, 2011)
Fantastic post, Sidney! I agree completely! Reading or
writing romance novels has nothing to do with the type of
relationship a person is in, or isn't in. That's two
separate things. I've been happily married for over 20 years
and have read romance novels longer than that.
Congratulations on your book release!!
(Nicole North 4:20pm June 20, 2011)
I love romance books, and have been reading them for over fifty years.
(Wilma Frana 4:26pm June 20, 2011)
Hi Sidney,
I am new to putting myself out there, and to be honest, I have never gotten much support from family or friends when (the very few times I have) told them I wrote paranormal romance. I'd admire you. It's takes bravery to stand up and not only love what you do, but own it. Your story really inspired me to keep my head held high. And I swear...if one more person says, "Oh so you write another vampire story huh?" with disgust in their voice, I'm gonna all Chuck Norris on them! Because, lets face it, obviously they've spent more than moment perusing our genre, else they wouldn't even know what paranormal was...So BOO to that mean dude who dared to say those things to you, and YAY you! Because in that conversation, who is the published writer...? Oh yeah...YOU are! :)
Congrats on your book release!
Britt Bury
(Britt Bury 4:28pm June 20, 2011)
Romance is no more unrealistic than any other fiction writing such as murder mysteries where the clues always are found and the mystery solved at the end of the book.
(Lindsey Ekland 4:36pm June 20, 2011)
I love reading romance novels,it gives me a chance to get away from real life for a little while. Thanks for giving me a chance to win your book.
(Linda Hall 4:41pm June 20, 2011)
Everyone loves a HEA and yearns for one in real life. It may not be realistic for all but it gives all of us hope!!
(Jeanne Sheats 5:42pm June 20, 2011)
Romance can be something that is aimed for, but I like the spontaneous kind where you find someone looking back at your gaze and locking in.
(Alyson Widen 6:26pm June 20, 2011)
I think romance is realistic but the romance in most books is unrealistic.
(Kara Lepard 6:27pm June 20, 2011)
Romance novels can be realistic! The love interest in the romance novel is rarely perfect and some novels are very realistic! As someone who has found my Mr. Right, I know it can happen.
(Susan Navidad 7:11pm June 20, 2011)
Romance novels,I like both realistic or unrealistic,as long as it has a happy ending.I hate sad endings.
(Deb Pelletier 7:22pm June 20, 2011)
I LOVE READING ANYTHING PARANORMAL SO I CAN'T WAIT TO READ YOUR NEW BOOK
(Jennifer Beck 8:01pm June 20, 2011)
I know you can be happy and married reading romanaces
(Mary Shaw 8:29pm June 20, 2011)
I love anything and everything. It's easier to relate to the realistic but sometimes it's nice to escape with an unrealistic story. Either is good for me.
Good luck and happy writing!
(Tracie Travis 9:09pm June 20, 2011)
Wow! I didn't expect such a huge response. I am so glad that there are others out there with the same views. I've always admired my uncle, he's the only man I know who openly admits he reads romance novels. I started out as a teen reading historical romances by Johanna Lindsey and Kathleen Woodiwiss. Part of my enjoyment, besides the romance, was the rich tapestry of history that came with these books. Matter of fact, it was the history I learned in these books that lead me to choose history for my first major.
Thanks everyone for your comments! It's been amazing reading your responses.
(Sidney Ayers 9:25pm June 20, 2011)
Okay, this makes me mad. I like to read romances and murder mysteries but I am happily married for 22 years and have yet to kill anyone. Really???? Who makes up this stuff?
(Renee Brown 9:36pm June 20, 2011)
Wow... That guy is so rude. I can't believe that he said "I feel sorry for you."??? How rude... Does he say that about action movies writers or directors? Does he feel sorry for them too? I am so glad that you are not affected by his comments... Just show you that people can be so narrow-minded.
(May Pau 9:41pm June 20, 2011)
What is romance? As we get older, I thinks our definition & requirements for romance changes. When you reach the point that you just want someone where you will: care for each other & want to be with each other, the realtionship will ahve a chance of lasting & you will findromance in amny simple things.
(Diane Sallans 10:10pm June 20, 2011)
First, congrats on the books! I think it's feakin' awesome that you are doing what you want to do and enjoying it.
Second, I'm guessing that this person wasn't much of a friend before this chance meeting, so your life isn't incomplete without his friendship.
Third, kuddos to you for recognizing his faulty thinking! He's the one I feel sorry for. He's the one who is uneducated and misinformed.
Lastly, looks like you have quite a few comments now...
Hug!
me
rmjamuse at msn dot com
(Michelle Muse 10:51pm June 20, 2011)
I throughly enjoy reading romance stories. I like realism, but happily-ever-after stories. I don't want to read stories or see movies that make me feel sad or cry. Why do that if there is no actual reason to do so.
(Gladys Paradowski 11:00pm June 20, 2011)
Hi,
Not only do I believe in romance in books, but also in real life. My parents had the most beautiful love for each other I've ever seen. I wasn't so lucky, but it didn't change my outlook. I've learned to turn a deaf ear to comments, such as some my son has made: "you're too old to read romance," and "I know why women read/write romance." He's not alone, but you can't please all of the people all of the time.
Your book resonates with me. I love the paranormal and have recently been trying new styles, like shapeshifter, and a novel about a demon and a succubus will be new ground for me. I'm looking forward to it.
Joan K. Maze
(Joan Maze 11:25pm June 20, 2011)
i love romance novels. They do show some realistic components, we love our men even though they may be flawed and they love us back as well. And my hubby likes my reading them because I get all frisky and he reaps the reward.
(Patti Paonessa 11:26pm June 20, 2011)
(Joan Maze 11:26pm June 20, 2011)
Yes, enter me in today's contest.
Joan K. Maze
(Joan Maze 11:26pm June 20, 2011)
I believe romance is diverse enough that it can be realistic and unrealistic, and that is a good thing. Romances have reading merit like any other genre. There are stories about relationships (lovers, families, sisters etc), that we can relate to or those stories that offer escape and welcome imagination. Luckily, there are many wonderful romance authors to choose from, whether it is paranormal, contemporary or something else.
I think the man who was quick to make judgements about romance authors is missing out on a lot. Romance isn't soley for the lonely, whether it is a reader or writer it is for everyone who wants to celebrate love and relationships.
(Na S 11:44pm June 20, 2011)
I don't want realistic, that's the whole point of reading romance - to escape the every day.
(Mary Preston 11:51pm June 20, 2011)
I do love romance novels and don't truly expect them to depict real life.
However, they are a relaxing "escape" and meant for enjoyment. Demon
novels are great too in that they add that bit of "eyes wide open, sitting on the
edge of the seat element" to a novel. It's nice to have a choice for whatever
mood one is in when looking for a novel to read.
Connie Fischer
[email protected]
(Connie Fischer 1:33pm June 21, 2011)
I love romance books and will read practically any genre as long as there is romance in it. I just recently added paranormal into my favorites and i think your books sounds very interesting !!
(Lori Barnes 8:29pm June 21, 2011)
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