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Mary Campisi | Real families aren't always the ones you know about . . .
May 6, 2011
When a woman's father dies on his way to the cabin he visited every month,
she discovers a secret that threatens everything she's always held to be true .
. . Several years ago, I read an article about a man who'd kept a secret family for
years without anyone's knowledge.I was fascinated that someone could and
would actually do this.That one small article lived in my subconscious
for years, emerging occasionally as I considered how a person might achieve
this, the effects on the primary family as well as the other family, the
pain, the grief, the anger, the emotional, financial and psychological
entanglements between the two, and the ultimate question; which was the
real family? I became so engrossed with the emotion of the situation that
I knew I had to create my own characters and my own story and so emerged A FAMILY AFFAIR. No matter how much you love them, families can be complicated and challenging
– no doubt about it. As I wrote A FAMILY AFFAIR, I explored
the dynamics of a less than ideal family and the more I wrote, the more I
understood how people get trapped in situations or circumstances that force them
to act in ways they normally wouldn't. I also found some of my own beliefs
challenged. Do adult children have a right to know ‘truths' about a parent that
could destroy the relationship with that parent? Who makes that decision? Is it
self-less or self-serving? Is it ever acceptable to break the vows of marriage?
Is ‘the other family' ever more real than the legitimate one? If a woman is
unfortunate enough to fall in love with the son of her father's mistress, is she
betraying the family? I certainly don't claim to have answers, but the questions
are all interwoven in A
FAMILY AFFAIR and make for interesting discussion. This book was first published by a small press but I've recently brought it out
in e-book form with a new cover and - being a writer – revisions. I've
labeled it women's fiction but don't be fooled – there's a dangerously hot
guy in there named Nate Desantro and a red hot romance, too! The first time Nate Desantro meets Christine Blacksworth, it doesn't exactly
go well . . . In another week or so he'd be able to get back to his own place, back to
seclusion, where the loudest noise at night was a flip between a screech owl and
a log crackling on the fire. Just the way he liked it. The majority of the human
species was nothing but an annoying intrusion on his state of mind and other
than the times when he had to interact with them, he preferred to be
alone. Of course, family didn't fit into that category, just everyone else.
His mother said he was afraid to open up after what happened three years ago.
She was wrong; he didn't care about Patrice anymore, didn't even think about
her, not since the day the sheriff delivered the divorce papers. Nate heard she
was remarried to some bank president in Palm Springs, drove a Lexus now.
Probably silver; she'd always had a fondness for silver. The doorbell rang again, twice, rapid staccato. "Hold on, hold on." Damn
intrusive busy bodies. He reached the front door, preparing the same speech he
told all the well-wishers. My mother's fine . . . needs her rest . . .
she'll be in touch when she's up to it. She'd be furious if she had an
inkling that he was blowing off people like Father Reisanski and Judge
Tommichelli, but hell, did she have to be best friends with half the town? He opened the door. It was her. "Hello. I'm looking for . . ." Her voice was softer than he'd imagined, more breathy . . . ". . . this is a bit awkward . . . " Her eyes were bluer than her picture . . . "Lily Desantro. Is she here?" That brought him around fast. "Who are you?" Stupid question, but damn if he'd
let on he knew who she was. She hesitated, a split second extra air exchange. "Christine Blacksworth. I'm
. . . are you Nate Desantro?" He said nothing. Let her squirm. "Is Lily here?" "No." "May I come in?" She tried to look around him, into the house, into their
lives. He blocked the door. "I don't think that's a good idea." "You . . . you know who I am, don't you?" He stared at her, refusing to acknowledge the man or his daughter as hatred
seeped through him, brought back the days, months, years, his mother spent
alone; four damn days a month for fourteen years. "You called my mother's house . . . about my father." Her voice wobbled. Good, feel it, Christine Blacksworth, feel what I've felt
for the past fourteen years every time I saw your father's bathrobe hanging in
my mother's closet, saw his razor in her bathroom, his glasses on her
nightstand. Let it strangle you There you have it. Nate's smoldering but not in a good way. That comes later
:-). I'd love to hear from you and maybe your thoughts on what makes a
family? Comment to win a copy of A FAMILY AFFAIR.
Comments
51 comments posted.
Re: Mary Campisi | Real families aren't always the ones you know about . . .
Dads are not perfect. But...can't live with them and can't live without them. Mine passed away in 1995. I still get mad at him sometimes, and I still love him.
(Sandy Fielder 8:56am May 6, 2011)
Families are funny things. I have two blood siblings, but three adopted ones, and I love them all. My father has 8 brothers and sisters, my mother has four, so family get-togethers are always fun. Our yearly reunion for my dad's side is an event that takes most of the next year to recover from. But you have to love your family. Mine is my rock!
(Beth Foster 9:02am May 6, 2011)
To me, family is a group of people who are there for one another in good
times and bad. There doesn't need to be a biological relationship.
(Mona Garg 10:02am May 6, 2011)
Families are definitely not perfect. But I think it's basically Love... No matter how angry you are at family, you still love them....
(May Pau 10:20am May 6, 2011)
I wish I could say what makes a family. I know they should be there for each other, through thick and thin. They should help each other, and be there emotionally when another person needs it. I was raised old-school with good morals, and was always there for everyone in my family. I helped to take care of my Mother until she passed away from Alzheimer's. Shortly after, my Husband lost his job, and we lost our house. My Father, along with the rest of my family, turned their backs on me. To me, that isn't what family does, and it hurts. I've started a new life, and it hasn't been easy. It's only been a couple of years, but I've had to live in a pop-up camper for a while before finding a new place to live. Anyway, I can't honestly answer your question, but would love to read your book. I hope that the second printing of it does as well as the first, if not better.
(Peggy Roberson 10:30am May 6, 2011)
Sounds like a great story!
Blessings,
Marjorie
(Marjorie Carmony 10:32am May 6, 2011)
I am a family of seven and I am #6. My family are sooo crazy,
different but completely loving. When God gives you things
they are for a reason. I have to always remember there is some
of those crazy within me too. smile
(Cynthia Plaza-Harney 10:47am May 6, 2011)
Families are very complex---I watch my husband's family as an outsider and I never cease to be amazed at the lies they choose to believe about each other and their relationships.
(Sue Farrell 10:47am May 6, 2011)
Families are very confusing, My husband was, he passed away several years ago. My children are grown, and I have grandchildren and great-grandchildren.
(Wilma Frana 10:51am May 6, 2011)
I have two families. The first is the parents I dearly love and the daughter who scares me to death at times and the second is the family that still lives with me. That would be two dogs and three ferrets. My first ferret is the man of the house, hence the name Little Man, even though he's huge so I call him my big boy. They keep me from driving an hour away every day to see my girl and letting her live a normal 26 year old's life with friends and a bf. I do reserve the right to call her at least once a day and internet friend her. We're still extremely close to the point of having to discuss gifts we buy each other and others or we end up buying duplicates of everything. We think alike to the point it's crazy. We can go into the same stores and find the same outfits for each other without even trying. Everyone thinks we're strange. Other solutions are to go shopping with my mom with us and show her what's in the carts and let her tell us what's duplicated. I always think of family as the first people who can hurt you the most because you love them the most, so never hold a grudge because tomorrow isn't promised.
Be good to your family, you never know what will happen and take them from you.
(Christina Harrison 10:59am May 6, 2011)
As expected, the subject of family lends itself to some pretty lively conversation. Families can represent love and unity but they can also be sources of bitter disappointment and betrayal. We all want to believe that no matter what happens, family will be there for us and when they aren't it can be devastating. I've been one of the lucky ones who has always had the support of my family. I can't say I was so lucky in my first marriage though...which was when my family stood by me and helped me as I became a single mother with three young children. Life went on, I grew stronger and went on to meet and marry my soulmate....and blend my three children and his two to form our own family.
Thanks to everyone for sharing.
(Mary Campisi 10:59am May 6, 2011)
Love the post about our animals as family! This is so true! Cooper is my best buddy - he's in the pic of me above. And what about siblings? I'm the third of four and when we are all together, which is rare since we live in different states, the pecking order prevails...
(Mary Campisi 11:06am May 6, 2011)
I'm blessed with my small family. But have seen others that make me wonder why they don't murder each other.
(Cate Sparks 11:31am May 6, 2011)
A family is one that will love in spite of the stupid things
you do and not be afraid to tell you they are stupid.
(Lisa Richards 11:39am May 6, 2011)
I have a terrific family. They are the ones who love me and are there when I need them.
(Anna Speed 12:25pm May 6, 2011)
well all i can really say is family is family and nothing is more important than family. not money,not power,not prestige not anything because all of the trappings of the world may fall away but you always have family.
I loved the excerpt and can't wait to read the book!
(Tammy Ramey 12:31pm May 6, 2011)
Families can consist of just about anything. My son, friends and my cats make up my family, much more than my biological family does. It is their choice not to be close. I feel like I am happy with what I have.
(Debbie Penny 12:33pm May 6, 2011)
Wow! That could get interesting really fast! My idea of family? Family sometimes isn't those that you're born with but who you choose.
(Kelli Jo Calvert 12:38pm May 6, 2011)
I am one of three children all born exactly a year apart. At age 2, my father
died suddenly and we were left with just our wonderful mother to raise us.
She was so strong and such a terrific mother. I must say that I have always
felt cheated at not having a father figure and relationship. Everyone, love your
parents and thank God for them every day.
Connie Fischer
[email protected]
(Connie Fischer 12:53pm May 6, 2011)
well i cam form a family of 5 even though we lost dean my brother and my mom and both grand parents but i still have over 100 in the family and that only my moms side of the family tree if both my grand ma and mom would be live we would have up to 6 generation my aunt does have 4
(Desiree Reilly 1:03pm May 6, 2011)
Sounds really interesting... my side of the family is treated like outsiders... so much extented family that I never met...
(Colleen Conklin 1:51pm May 6, 2011)
Families come in many styles and it seems to me that many are disfunctional at some level. Embrace what you can, do not let the rest dismay you.
(Shirley Nienkark 2:02pm May 6, 2011)
A family is people you surround yourself with in good and bad times. There does NOT have to be a biological connection
(MaryEllen Hanneman 2:27pm May 6, 2011)
Being a military family for almost 12 yrs now I'd say it changes and adapts from one installation/base to the next. I haven't been near actual family and friends for over a decade so I've learned to make mini "families" during the time we're at a certain location so it's those you can rely on, enjoy time together, go through life's bumps and just keep going forward :)
(Cindi Mitchell 2:34pm May 6, 2011)
Cindi makes a good point. I think oftentimes we form mini families depending on situations. Before I forget, Happy Mother's Day to all the Moms! I hope you have a great day!!
(Mary Campisi 2:46pm May 6, 2011)
Just as every human being is a bit different & unique from any other, when all these personalities try to mesh & create a family it is bound to be complicated.
(Christine Schultz 4:28pm May 6, 2011)
I know men can compartmentalize their lives, my own father had 2 familes, my mom & he had 5 children and he and the woman who became my stepmother had 3 with all being born during my parents marriage. In fact my brother is 5 months older than my sister.
(Marcelle Cole 4:37pm May 6, 2011)
Life is so hard on your heart. You think everything is roses and you turn around and its garbage. Garbage can be made into beautiful artwork. To find things out about your family late in life is so hard to comprehend and let go. I would like to see where this book goes.
(Shonda Abercrombie 4:41pm May 6, 2011)
Hi, Mary! Enjoyed your blog and would love to win your book. Both my DH and I come from dysfunctional families (especially his). In my family core, my dad was the dysfunctonal one, but he is gone now. My DH has 2 brothers and a sister, and it's not a good idea to turn your back on any of them unfortunately. Unless you are useful to them, they don't want to be bothered. In fact they are lying and deceitful. My DH and I weren't lucky enough to have children, so our dogs have always been children to us, and they have never disappointed or turned their backs on us.
(Cathy Phillips 4:57pm May 6, 2011)
Would love to read your book - it sounds fascinating! Blended families are challenging - but my sweet hubby and I have made it work!
(Edwina Cowgill 5:17pm May 6, 2011)
Families are a living, breathing organism made up of many different parts. Each day brings new joy & challenges.
(Mary Preston 5:47pm May 6, 2011)
This sounds like a really interesting book. Each family is so different from another. I would love to read this book.
(June A, Manning 6:05pm May 6, 2011)
Book sounds great. I'm from a dysfunctional family and now I have a dysfunctional family, like everyone else.
(Sheila True 6:48pm May 6, 2011)
I always thought that family is everything and that my family would never do anything to hurt me but that illusion was busted over four years ago by my brother. These past four years has strengthen my relationship with my sister. We've gotten closer and we gotten farther away from my brother. It's truely sad what can happen to a family in crisis.
(Maude Allen 7:02pm May 6, 2011)
stay close to your family
(Lynn Lanzon 7:12pm May 6, 2011)
trust, friendship, love and a whole lot of compromising make a family!
(Diane Sadler 8:29pm May 6, 2011)
I have to say I'm from a dysfunctional family as well!
Happy Mothers day to you!
(Brenda Rupp 9:19pm May 6, 2011)
Sounds like an interesting book. I am looking foward to reading it. Any family more dysfunctional then mine is always good. :)
(Tracy Brown 9:45pm May 6, 2011)
Some of the things that represent family are love, trust, guidance, and adventure.
(Leni Kaye 10:42pm May 6, 2011)
Thanks to everyone for sharing your stories. I'll be around for a while yet if you have more to share!
(Mary Campisi 10:48pm May 6, 2011)
Your story sounds wonderful. I lost my father when I was thirteen and my Mom when I was eighteen.I hate to hear people talk bad about their parents.I would love to have mine around.
(Linda Hall 11:46pm May 6, 2011)
Families are complicated. but I think it's mostly about the feelings among them!
(Robin Daily 12:30pm May 7, 2011)
What makes a family? I come from a family of seven...five kids and two parents. For me, family are the people who give you a soft place to fall when everything else in your world is crashing down around you. Family are the people who take you in when you don't have a place to live. Family are the ones you turn to when life crushes you. I love the fact that we live in a world where families can be black mixed with white, Catholic living side by side with Muslims. At the end of the day a family are those people who give you the love you need to sustain you.
(Sandy Calhoune 12:58pm May 7, 2011)
I've heard of a few "families" where it turned out that the father had another one. I guess it's more difficult for a woman to have a second family: it's too hard to hide a pregnancy and woman do tend to be around to look after their children for more than a few days a week. I can't imagine anything similar happening. I totally agree with Sandy on what makes a family. I suppose that with a lot of love and give and take you can receive others into your family circle, especially orphans or other children in need of care. However, I think it would be very hard for us women to suddenly discover that our family was not enough for our husband. Is it better than a complete divorce and get it all out into the open? I just don't know.
(Sigrun Schulz 7:00pm May 7, 2011)
To me family has always just been my mum, dad, brothers and sister, but I also like to think of family as the people who you choose to be with, like really good friends. Families pretty much always have issues, and it's weird because you've got all theses emotional ties whether you want them or not.
Your book sounds really interesting, and the red hot romance part definitely sold me.
(Jessica Sutton 7:22pm May 7, 2011)
Family feuds are the worst!
(MaryEllen Hanneman 4:24pm May 8, 2011)
I agree that relationships are a complex entity. At times predictible and others impossibly unpredictible, so as you can see that's life.
(Alyson Widen 3:02pm May 9, 2011)
I can't really comment on another family but I understand believing something about a parent the most of your life and finding out it was wrong.
(TinaMarie R 6:44pm May 9, 2011)
What makes a family? disfunction
(Laurie Murray 7:20pm May 9, 2011)
Hello Everyone:
I just wanted to stop by once more to announce that Jessica Marie Sutton won A FAMILY AFFAIR. Thanks so much for the thoughts and comments - there were a lot of common threads in this discussion. If you'd still like to read A FAMILY AFFAIR, I have a special offer going on Amazon for 99 cents! It's a great deal but hurry because as you know....it won't last forever! Again, thanks for making this a great blog.
Best,
Mary
www.marycampisi.com
(Mary Campisi 9:09am May 11, 2011)
Families are the ones you can let your hair down with and they still let you in the door. They are the ones you can call at 3 in the morning and they don't hang up. They are the ones who will hold your hair while you puke....
(Heather Pearson 1:18pm May 13, 2011)
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