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Available 4.15.24


Excerpt of Freezer I'll Shoot by Victoria Hamilton

Purchase


A Vintage Kitchen Mystery #3
Berkley Prime Crime
November 2013
On Sale: November 5, 2013
304 pages
ISBN: 042525237X
EAN: 9780425252376
Kindle: B00BDQ3AP2
Paperback / e-Book
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Mystery Cozy

Also by Victoria Hamilton:

Sieve and Let Die, October 2023
Paperback / e-Book
Some Touch of Madness, November 2022
e-Book
A Gentlewoman’s Guide to Murder, October 2022
e-Book
A Calculated Whisk, October 2021
Trade Size / e-Book
Double or Muffin, February 2021
Paperback / e-Book
Cast Iron Alibi, October 2019
Paperback / e-Book
Muffin But Trouble, July 2019
Paperback / e-Book
A Gentlewoman's Guide to Murder, February 2019
Paperback / e-Book
Breaking the Mould, November 2018
Paperback / e-Book
No Grater Danger, June 2018
Paperback / e-Book
Muffin to Fear, August 2017
Mass Market Paperback / e-Book
Leave It to Cleaver, July 2017
Paperback / e-Book
Much Ado About Muffin, August 2016
Mass Market Paperback / e-Book
White Colander Crime, November 2015
Paperback / e-Book
Death Of An English Muffin, July 2015
Paperback / e-Book
No Mallets Intended, November 2014
Paperback / e-Book
Muffin But Murder, July 2014
Paperback / e-Book
Freezer I'll Shoot, November 2013
Paperback / e-Book
Bran New Death, September 2013
Paperback / e-Book
Bowled Over, March 2013
Paperback / e-Book
A Deadly Grind, May 2012
Paperback / e-Book

Excerpt of Freezer I'll Shoot by Victoria Hamilton

Her ear glued to the phone, Jaymie Leighton sat on the back porch of Rose Tree Cottage, listening to her mother while surveying the arriving merry band of plumbers that were set to rip up the cottage's entire backyard. The plumbers had to drive their excavator through the Redmonds' property, which faced the road behind the one Rose Tree Cottage was on, because it was the only way to access the Leightons' backyard with heavy equipment without taking down trees. The little Bobcat was negotiating the slope carefully, while one of the men guided the driver. "Mom, I have to go because—" "And another thing, Jaymie," the woman continued. Jaymie covered her eyes with one hand. Ever since her parents had arrived in Queensville from Florida, Jaymie's mom had been complaining nonstop about the "junk" that Jaymie collected—her precious (to her) vintage kitchenware collection—and cluttered the kitchen in the Leighton Queensville home. Every time they were in the kitchen together doing something, her mom would sigh and glare at the old tins, vintage bowls, painted enamelware, and other things that lined the tops of the cupboards. Joy Leighton grudgingly admitted that the Hoosier cabinet Jaymie had bought earlier in the summer wasn't exactly in the way, but it was just another "junk magnet" and "dust catcher." As if that wasn't bad enough, Jaymie's mom had found a new focus for her complaints. "That woman is going to drive me to an early grave," she said. "You've got to talk to Daniel and make him tell her to butt out of our family dinner plans! It's none of her business." "That woman" was the mother of Daniel Collins, Jaymie's kinda-sorta boyfriend. Jaymie looked down at her chipped fingernail polish and blew out a puff of air on a deep sigh. How to handle this? Daniel had invited his parents to come from Phoenix to visit his historic home, Stowe House, in Queensville. Jaymie's parents had arrived at about the same time. Since the very first meeting, the men got along fine and golfed together often, but the women acted like cats, hissing and spitting each time they were forced to be together. At first Jaymie had taken her mom's side; Mrs. Collins was sharp and cold, it seemed to her. But when the two were in company together, there was no choosing between them as to manipulative behavior and catty comments. With planning under way for the annual Leighton family dinner, to which Daniel's parents, as well as Becca's (Jaymie's sister) new beau, Kevin Brevard, had been invited, things were getting worse with every attempt to smooth things over. Robin, the lead plumber and owner of the company, Robin Hood Plumbing, waved to her, then gathered his guys around, gesturing to the ravine part of the lot. Both the Leighton property and the Redmond property sloped down to a common area, a ravine that got soggy in spring, but was now, in August, dry and lush with green grass. The two properties were bound on both sides by a green belt of trees. Cottages and homes on either side were barely visible through the wooded lots. "Mom, I don't know what else I can tell you. Mrs. Collins has a point," she said, going back to the argument from the day before. The two moms and Jaymie had gone on a disastrous shopping trip into Wolverhampton. The idea was shopping and lunch; what could be more soothing for three women? Instead the day had been a war of wills over whose vehicle to take, what shops to visit, and even where to have lunch. Jaymie was happy when it was over and they were on the way back to Queensville. But they had one more stop, the grocery store. While strolling the brightly lit aisles, Joy Leighton started talking about buying ribs for the family dinner that they were planning to hold at Rose Tree Cottage. It was tradition; the Leightons had one dinner there altogether every summer, and this year the Collinses were attending. But Mrs. Collins said that with the upcoming plumbing work on the cottage being more extensive than originally thought, maybe they should move the dinner to Daniel's home, Stowe House. You'd think the woman had made a unilateral declaration of war, because Joy Leighton's face had gone pinched and white. A hushed argument in the air-conditioned chill of the grocery store had taken place, followed by an icy ride home, where the chill in the air was not just from the air-conditioning. Mrs. Collins's round face had been set in a mulish expression, and her good-byes were perfunctory, to put it kindly. Abrupt, bordering on rude, was more accurate. "Now you're taking her side?" Jaymie's mom said, her voice rising a decibel through the phone. "I'm not taking Mrs. Collins's side, Mom. I'm just saying . . . Stowe House is a lot bigger, and who knows if we'll have the sewage system at Rose Tree Cottage back to functional. Robin told me just this morning that it's even worse than we thought. Not only do they have to put in a new septic tank; they have to lay out a whole new leaching field." A week ago Jaymie had not even known what a "leaching field" was, and now she knew far too much. While her mother yammered on about the invidious Mrs. Collins, and why the "getting to know you" dinner Jaymie's mom was planning just had to be held at Rose Tree Cottage, her mind wandered . . . To her first column for the Wolverhampton Weekly Howler. Her fledgling cookbook, Recipes from the Vintage Kitchen, was never far from her mind, and to that end she was following the advice of the urbane and kindly editor at Adelaide Publishing. He had declined to publish it, as it was in no way ready for publication; nor was she. He told her some hard truths about cookbook publishing. The recipes were vital, the writing was important, but an editor was going to want to know what kind of name Jaymie had in the cooking world. And would she/could she promote the heck out of her cookbook, should it be published? How was she going to publicize it? What contacts did she have? It had set her back on her heels at first. She had pictured getting the cookbook published, holding it in her hands, even seeing it on a bookstore shelf, and she had imagined all the work building up to publication. What she had not realized was that the real effort would come after the publication. To be competitive in the cookbook industry, she would need to vigorously make appearances, do a tour, even, and appear on cooking shows, talk shows, and local and national news programs. She pondered it for a few weeks, wondering whether she was cut out for the world of cookbook publishing. It wasn't that she was shy, exactly, but she was a small-town girl who liked a quiet life. She had gone away to college, but had returned to Queensville, Michigan, population a couple of thousand, at the first opportunity, before even testing the waters of career and/or job in the big city. It was her preference, but she had always supposed it made her rather cowardly, not to want what other girls seemed to want. After a few years, though, of soul searching, she had come to the conclusion that there was no shame in liking her life in Queensville, just as there would have been no shame in wanting something else. And so she had settled into a routine of holding down multiple jobs, with a jumbled schedule that would have driven some mad, and an unreliability of wages that was only tenable because beyond insurance, utilities and food, she had little else to pay for. She and her sister jointly owned the ancestral family home, and she managed the cottage rental. Her cookbook venture was important to her, important enough that she must summon up all her courage and make her best attempt at success. To that end she had called the food editor, Nan Goodenough—also the owner's wife—at the Wolverhampton Weekly Howler to ask about writing for them. To Jaymie's delight, because she advertised in the Howler, Nan had heard of her as the innovative young businesswoman who had started Queensville Vintage Picnic, her basket rental business. It had started modestly enough as a simple service for tourists who could go to the Queensville Emporium and rent a picnic basket filled with vintage dishes and good food, everything they needed to enjoy an afternoon on the river, or a local day trip. It had rapidly expanded through the summer to include "destination" baskets to the local winery, a boat trip along the St. Clair, and an evening under the stars with the Queensville Quartet playing Scarlatti. Nan had asked her to come in to her office in Wolverhampton to talk; after an hour chatting about the basket business, her vintage kitchenware collection and everything else under the sun—including the two murders that had occurred within a month or so of each other in quiet little Queensville—Jaymie was stunned and pleased to walk out of the Howler office with a tentative weekly column called "Vintage Eats." "If you give me something worth printing, then we'll go ahead," Nan said, in her brisk, New York pull-no-punches manner. She had "retired" when she married the owner of the Howler, and was now just the editor of the Lifestyles section, where once she had been the editor of a major lifestyle magazine in New York. Jaymie wanted her first column to be perfect, but was afraid she'd gotten in over her head. What to write? She reluctantly admitted to herself that Nan intimidated her. How could she ever produce something good enough for Nan Goodenough? "Jaymie, are you listening to me?" her mother asked. Jaymie started, and Hoppy, her little three-legged Yorkie-Poo, yapped at her from inside the door of the cottage, where he was locked so he wouldn't get into trouble with the plumbers and heavy machinery. She had pretty much forgotten her mom was even on the line, the voice in her ear becoming the drone of a pesky mosquito. "Yes, of course I'm listening, Mom." "Then what did I just say?" Argh. Fess-up time. Or not. Confessing that she had not been listening would prolong the conversation, and she was not in the mood to be chastised. "Mom, I have to go. The plumbers are signaling me. Can we just see how this plumbing issue goes and resolve the family dinner thing later? I really gotta go! I'll see you tomorrow, when I come back to Queensville." She clicked off, heaving a deep sigh of relief that she was staying at the cottage overnight. Robin had promised that the work would be done in twenty-four hours. Maybe. He hoped. She slid the screen door of the cottage open, to set the phone inside; Hoppy saw his chance and dashed out between her feet. Jaymie hopped back out, trying to catch hold of Hoppy's collar, but he thought that was a marvelous game, and dashed around the tiny deck, then down the steps to the patio below. Ruby Redmond, the vigorous fiftysomething co-owner (with her brother, Garnet) of the cottage behind the Leightons' Rose Tree Cottage, as well as the Ice House restaurant, down near the marina, waved at Jaymie from her back porch. Hoppy saw his favorite woman in the whole world wave, and just knew she was inviting him over for treats! He yipped a greeting to the biscuit lady, as he probably thought of Ruby, and dashed down the lawn, weaving around the machinery and giving Jaymie heart palpitations. "Hoppy, come back here," she yelled, racing after him, circling around the excavator that was moving to the center of the sloped back lawn, getting into position to start tearing up turf. Huffing a bit from the climb up the hill, Jaymie approached the Redmonds' back patio, where Hoppy danced and yapped at Ruby's feet. "Sorry about that," Ruby said, fishing a biscuit out of her hoodie pocket, as Hoppy wobbled up to her, panting and wagging his whole body. "Not your fault he's in doggie love," Jaymie said, watching Hoppy dance around for the biscuit. "The way to a man's heart is through his stomach, right? Not that I know that from experience," she said, with a rueful chuckle. Jaymie examined the woman while she made a fuss over Hoppy, who rolled around in the dewed grass, wriggling in glee, crunching on biscuit chunks that Ruby broke up for him. Ruby was tall and angular and had the deeply tanned face that came from being a sailor. Her short hair stood up in a shock of iron gray, and she never wore makeup. Her clothes were jean shorts and polo shirts most of the time, with a pair of Top-Siders. She and her brother, Garnet, the skipper of the Heartbreak Kid—Garnet resembled his sister in being tall and lanky, as well as deeply tanned—were the annual winners of the Heartbreak Island leg of the St. Clair River Regatta. She had never married, gossip had it, and Jaymie wondered, but didn't want to pry, whether there was some long-ago love that kept her from finding happiness. When the siblings arrived several years before, they seemed to ease into Heartbreak Island society with no ruffles, and they ran the renovated restaurant with competent grace. Ruby straightened and said, "You can come and use our facilities anytime, Jaymie, I hope you know that. You're not staying at the cottage overnight, are you?" "I am. Mom and Dad are in residence at the Queensville house, and for some reason it just seems . . . crowded." She shrugged, trying to ease the tension out of her shoulders that had built while talking to her mother. Ruby chuckled, her weathered face creasing with laughter, and the morning sun glinting in her pale blue eyes. "Well, you're in for a challenge, then. Remember we had to have our leaching field torn up last year? It was a mess. Luckily, we have the restaurant, and can use those facilities night or day. I'll leave the back door unlatched. If you get caught short in the night, just come on over and use the head!" "I appreciate that, Ruby. Come on, Hoppy," Jaymie said, snapping her fingers at the little dog. He ignored her, staring up at Ruby with adoration in his chocolate eyes. He watched her hands, hoping she would dig in her pocket for another biscuit, then dropped his nose to the ground, snuffling up crumbs. "Hoppy, come!" "Coming down to the Ice House for dinner tonight?" Ruby said. "I will. I hear you've got yellow perch on the menu, and I love perch. See you later!" Jaymie scooped Hoppy up and walked down the grassy slope to talk to Robin for a minute, before returning to the cottage. He was not so sure they would be done that day, he told her, and she sighed. By late afternoon Jaymie was more discouraged than she had been that morning. She had a list of ideas for her first column, all of them crappy. They just sounded so darned dull! Maybe she wasn't cut out for this. Who told her she could be a cookbook author anyway? They weren't even her recipes. She was no fancy cook; she had just taken old recipes from her grandmother's cookbooks, rescued from the attic, and worked them over to suit modern cooks and modern ovens. It had kept her sane and upright during the long winter months when she was mourning the death of her relationship with Joel Anderson, who had moved on to blonder pastures with Heidi Lockland. Jaymie had thought Joel was the love of her life. She would have married him if he'd asked, but of course, he never did. Strangely enough, she and Heidi had managed to construct an odd kind of friendship in the last couple of months. The girl from New York City was actually a sweetie, too good for Joel, Jaymie had decided. If he was such a gutless wonder as to walk out on her two weeks before Christmas without any explanation, then he didn't deserve the girl. Or any girl. Looking at the torn-up mess that was her back lawn was too depressing, so Jaymie took her lunch to the cottage front porch. She was one road back from the riverfront, which was good when a storm swept along the river. The other cottages and trees along the riverfront sheltered Rose Tree Cottage from the worst of any storm. They were rarely in danger of flooding, another bonus of being on slightly higher ground. There was a long line of pines across the road surrounding the cottage across from theirs, but Jaymie could still see the glimmer of the St. Clair River as it slipped past, and they had access, if she wanted to walk down to it, alongside the neighbor's cottage. But right now she needed to concentrate on the task at hand: a subject for her first column for "Vintage Eats." She lay on her back on the board porch and dropped her head off the edge of the first step, staring up at the blue sky as seen through the leafy green expanse of tree canopy. Hoppy turned in a complete circle and, with a little doggy sigh, settled beside her, nestled up against her thigh. She closed her eyes. What to write about? Food history? Boring. Old dishes, maybe: Pyrex, Depression glass, etcetera? Not boring to her, but maybe to others. She daydreamed, and may even have dropped off to sleep for a moment. Hoppy jumped up and wuffled a greeting to someone. When Jaymie opened her eyes, she saw hairy, tanned thighs. Good grief! She bolted up and whirled, finding herself face-to-face with dark-haired, gray-eyed and too-handsome Detective Zack Christian, one of the only two detectives on the Queensville police force. She'd had a few run-ins with him in the last months over a couple of murders that she had solved—from her aspect—or interfered in, from his viewpoint. "Hi," she said, smoothing her ruffled hair. He was not in uniform. He was in swim trunks and a golf shirt, with a towel slung over his shoulder, and his dark hair was slicked back, wet from a recent dip. Yum. "Hi, Jaymie," he said, reaching down to pet Hoppy, briefly, then straightening. "What are you doing out here on the island?" "I was going to ask the same of you. This is my family's cottage," she said, gesturing behind her. "We're having some work done out back, so I'm staying here." "Oh. I rent a cottage on the island." He watched her eyes, his expression inscrutable, as always. "You live here year-round?" "Yup, so far. Love the water." There was a brief silence, and he smiled. "I guess I'd better go. See you." He strolled off, barefoot, down the sandy road. She watched him go. She'd never seen him so relaxed, and he was even more handsome that way than in his suit, investigating a crime. She took a deep breath and blew out the air. There was just something about him that attracted her, and she hadn't defeated it yet, though she was determined to. Her agitation in his presence was purely a physical response, just hormones jumping around at the sight of a guy so good-looking he could model for GQ. Daniel Collins was the real deal, a great guy who genuinely liked her, and she had promised to give their relationship a fair shake. Six months, she had said to Daniel. She wanted six months to completely get past Joel's dumping her—she was pretty much over all but the last bit of anger now—and see how they felt about each other before taking their relationship to the next level. And that included getting along with his mother, who didn't seem to like her too much, and making peace between their two moms, somehow. Zack Christian didn't figure into the equation at all. As Bernice "Bernie" Jenkins, one of the constables on the local force said, he was only in Queensville until something bigger came along. Then he'd be gone, leaving behind legions of sighing females. Daniel was as solid and trustworthy as the pine trees overhead; Zack was a leaf fluttering on a wayward wind. He was wrong for her in every way, even if he had been interested in her, which he was not. He viewed her as the cute, provincial miss, a little sister, almost, like the older guy's ward in one of the historical romance novels she loved to read. Zack Christian had pinched her cheek once, for heaven's sake! There was no romantic sensibility in a man pinching your cheek. "Come on, Hoppy," she said, scrambling to her feet. "I need to check in on the guys out back."

Excerpt from Freezer I'll Shoot by Victoria Hamilton
All rights reserved by publisher and author

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