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The Available Parent
John Duffy
Radical Optimism for Raising Teens and Tweens
Viva Editions
May 2011
On Sale: May 1, 2011
ISBN: 1573446572 EAN: 9781573446570 Kindle: B004US30AA Paperback / e-Book
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Self-Help
Teenagers are left feeling unheard and misunderstood, and
parents are left feeling bewildered by the changes in their
child at adolescence and their sudden lack of effectiveness
as parents. The parent has become unavailable, the teen
responds in kind, and a negative, often destructive cycle of
communication begins. Well, the truth of the matter is, you
can physically be right next to someone and still not really
be available to them. If you need them to be something
they’re not, if you are harsh, criticizing and judging, if
your anxiety is center stage, then you are not truly
available.
The available parent of a teenager is open
to discussion, offering advice and problem-solving, but not
insisting on it. He allows his child to make some mistakes,
setting limits, primarily where health and safety are
concerned. He never lectures – he is available but not
controlling. The available parent is self-aware, and keeps
his own emotions in check when dealing with his teen. He is
unconditionally loving and accepting, and open to new and
different ways of thinking. As such, he is neither cruel nor
dismissive, ever. The available parent is fun and funny, and
can bring levity to the most stressful situation. All of
that is to say, there are no conditions to his availability
– it is absolute. The available parent fosters an
extraordinary teenager.
We have a tendency today to
over-parent, micro-manage, and under-appreciate our
adolescents. Imagine for a moment shifting the dynamic in
your relationship. If you can get there as a parent, you can
begin to enjoy a healthy, satisfying, exciting new kind of
relationship with your teenager, a relationship with a
foundation not of fear, but of radical optimism. Dr. John
Duffy's The Available Parent is a revolutionary
approach to taking care of teens and tweens.
And we
can all breathe easier as a thirteenth birthday approaches.
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