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In Fifty Years We'll All Be Chicks
Adam Carolla
And Other Complaints from an Angry Middle-Aged White Guy
Random House Inc
November 2010
On Sale: November 2, 2010
256 pages
ISBN: 0307717372
EAN: 9780307717375
Hardcover
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Humor
A couple years back, I was at the Phoenix airport
bar. It was empty except for one heavy-set, gray
bearded, grizzled guy who looked like he just rode his
donkey into town after a long day of panning for silver in
them thar hills. He ordered a Jack Daniels straight
up, and that's when I overheard the young guy with the
earring behind the bar asking him if he had ID. At
first the old sea captain just laughed. But the guy
with the twinkle in his ear asked again. At this point
it became apparent that he was serious. Dan Haggerty's
dad fired back, "You've got to be kidding me, son."
The bartender replied, "New policy. Everyone has to
show their ID." Then I watched Burl Ives reluctantly
reach into his dungarees and pull out his military
identification card from World War II.
It's a sad
and eerie harbinger of our times that the Oprah-watching,
crystal-rubbing, Whole Foods-shopping moms and their whipped
attorney husbands have taken the ability to reason away from
the poor schlub who makes the Bloody Marys. What we
used to settle with common sense or a fist, we now settle
with hand sanitizer and lawyers. Adam Carolla has had
enough of this insanity and he's here to help us get our
collective balls back. In Fifty Years We'll
All Be Chicks is Adam's comedic gospel of modern
America. He rips into the absurdity of the culture that
demonized the peanut butter and jelly sandwich, turned the
nation's bathrooms into a lawless free-for-all of urine and
fecal matter, and put its citizens at the mercy of a bunch
of minimum wagers with axes to grind. Peppered between
complaints Carolla shares candid anecdotes from his day to
day life as well as his past—Sunday football at Jimmy
Kimmel's house, his attempts to raise his kids in a society
that he mostly disagrees with, his big showbiz break, and
much, much more. Brilliantly showcasing Adam's spot-on sense
of humor, this book cements his status as a cultural
commentator/comedian/complainer extraordinaire.
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