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When Our Grown Kids Disappoint Us
Jane Adams
Letting Go of Their Problems, Loving Them Anyway, and Getting on
Free Press
June 2004
On Sale: May 25, 2004
224 pages
ISBN: 074323281X
EAN: 9780743232814
Paperback
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Self-Help Relationships
How do today's parents cope when the dreams we had for our
children clash with reality? What can we do for our twenty-
and even thirty-somethings who can't seem to grow up? How
can we help our depressed, dependent, or addicted adult
children, the ones who can't get their lives started, who
are just marking time or even doing it? What's the right
strategy when our smart, capable "adultolescents" won't
leave home or come boomeranging back? Who can we turn to
when the kids aren't all right and we, their parents, are
frightened, frustrated, resentful, embarrassed, and
especially, disappointed? In this groundbreaking book, a
social psychologist who's been chronicling the lives of
American families for over two decades confronts our deepest
concerns, including our silence and self-imposed sense of
isolation, when our grown kids have failed to thrive. She
listens to a generation that "did everything right" and
expected its children to grow into happy, healthy,
successful adults. But they haven't, at least, not yet --
and meanwhile, we're letting their problems threaten our
health, marriages, security, freedom, careers or retirement,
and other family relationships. With warmth, empathy, and
perspective, Dr. Adams offers a positive, life-affirming
message to parents who are still trying to "fix" their adult
children -- Stop! She shows us how to separate from their
problems without separating from them, and how to be a
positive force in their lives while getting on with our own.
As we navigate this critical passage in our second adulthood
and their first, the bestselling author of I'm Still Your
Mother reminds us that the pleasures and possibilities
of postparenthood should not depend on how our kids turn
out, but on how we do!
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